Chapter 1
Holly
I gently laid Ava down on her back in her crib, smiling when she immediately rolled over into her preferred position, scrunched her little body up, and thrust her bottom into the air. I didn't cover her. She had on a full onesie that would keep her warm from neck to toe. I tenderly brushed my hand over her baby-soft curls and felt my heart swell at how much I loved her. The intense feeling was akin to how strongly I still felt about Sax.
I didn't dwell on the question of who her father might be, accepting the fact that it was any one of five men, four of whom had raped me when Raven, Bobbie, and I had been kidnapped the year before. After I’d been rescued by Sax and his brothers, I’d tried to move on with my life. But six weeks later, when I’d found out that I was pregnant, the whole ordeal of the rape, combined with the fact that Sax did not want children, had forced me to make a decision that I'd felt was best for everyone involved.
At a little over three months along, I'd officially broken it off with Sax and left the Las Vegas area to have my baby. Breaking up with the only man that I'd ever loved—the man that I still loved--had nearly destroyed me. But I’d known that he would never accept the baby, even if it were his. He'd been patient and understanding with me after the attack, but I'd taken the coward’s way out, letting him believe that the reason I was breaking up with him had to do with the assault and my inability to cope with it, rather than my pregnancy that he knew nothing about.
I was going to go to Hell for that, and for the terrible secret that I'd kept from everyone.
My intentions had been good. I’d wanted Sax to hate me, to move on with his life and find someone else so that by the time I returned with a baby he wouldn't question it or give a damn. I may have stayed away forever if it hadn't been for the old ladies in the club, and my best friend, Bailey. A mother of four, her advice and wisdom had come in handy during my pregnancy and over the months that followed. It would have been scary going through all of that completely alone.
Now I was back in Nevada, and it felt good. This was where I belonged, where I wanted my daughter to grow up. It had taken me a couple of months to make all of the arrangements for the move once I'd made up my mind that it was time to go back. Moving with an infant wasn't easy, but Bailey, Raven, and Jolene had helped me out in a big way. And even though I was no longer an old lady to one of the Desert Rebels, I was welcomed back by them as family.
Bailey had provided me with an extra crib that she’d had available after her triplets had outgrown theirs, along with a playpen and a baby swing. Bobbie and Jolene had scoured the outskirts of Las Vegas and found the perfect little Southwestern-style casita for us. It only had three rooms: a bedroom for Ava and I to share, a bathroom, and the main room was broken up into a small living area and kitchen. The casita had been vacant for a long time, but the walls had a fresh coat of paint, and the windows, kitchen, and bathroom had been scrubbed down. The floors had been covered with beautiful throw rugs. By the time I'd arrived, Bobbie and Jolene had even furnished the place for me.
I'd decided to stay in the Vegas area for work, but deep down I wondered if I’d chosen to work away from the home base of the Desert Rebels in order to put distance between me and Sax. He'd gone nomad after I'd left, but I knew the day would come when he would return. Desert Rebels was in his blood. He would never leave them for good.
If only things could have worked out between us. Leaving Sax had been the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, and it was all on me. Finding out that I was pregnant had devastated me. As much as I'd wanted a baby, I’d wanted Sax's baby. But I did not know whose baby I was carrying, and even if I had, Sax had no interest in being a father. Breaking it off with him had seemed like the best solution at the time, because there was no way I was going to get rid of my baby. My plan had been simple, if not a little naïve, and I’d prayed that time apart would be my friend. Time could heal a lot of things.
I crept out of the bedroom and closed the door behind me, releasing a long sigh.
"She should stay asleep until morning now." I walked back to the sofa where Bailey was sitting and texting. "I owe Moody for letting you come and stay with me for a couple of days. I didn't realize I'd need the help." I'd had a few boxes to unpack and the kitchen to set up.
Bailey glanced up from her phone, setting it off to the side. "Honey, we women never think we need help because we try to do it all. And Moody encouraged me to come. He said I needed time away from the kids." She reached for her glass of water. "He was right. I can't remember a time when I wasn't up to my elbows in bottles and diapers."
I couldn't help laughing. "What about Moody?"
"He gets plenty of time away from the kids. He still has his bar to run, and he takes on the occasional job."
Neither of us delved further into the type of "job" Moody might be taking, because Moody was a nomad, and like the Desert Rebels, he never discussed business. After the triplets had arrived he'd stopped accepting work so that he could stay home, but now that they were older, he'd gradually started taking on jobs again.
"Speaking of jobs—did you hear from Crickets?"
Crickets was a new restaurant opening up close to the Las Vegas strip. "Yes!" I got excited just thinking about it. "They called me in for an interview the day after I dropped off my application and offered me the hostess position. Demon is letting me work at Grinders until they open."
"When do you start there?"
"Not until Monday night, so I have the next four days to enjoy. Bobbie has invited us to spend the weekend with her and Demon. The club is having a kind of welcome home for me and a celebration for Jolene and LD at the same time. He's officially claiming her."
"What about when you start work? What are you going to do with Ava?
"Annabelle is going to take her for me until I find a permanent sitter. Hey, did you hear that she and Jolene's brother, Danny, are a thing?"
Bailey nodded. "I'm happy for her, and he seems like a nice guy."
"He's always been a nice guy, just not very reliable or smart with his decision-making. LD got him out of some big trouble not too long ago, and now Danny is working it off for the club."
"So I heard. Honey, I wish I was close enough to help out with Ava."
"As if you don't have enough kids to worry about. What's one more, right?" We laughed together, and then a funny look came over Bailey's face that made me narrow my eyes at her. She didn't have to say anything--the truth was right there on her face. "Oh, my God! You're pregnant right now, aren't you?" No wonder she'd refused the wine I'd offered earlier.
She nodded with a glowing smile. "Moody's going to flip when I tell him. He's always said that he was going to put five babies in my belly, and you know how our men are--possessive, sexual beasts." As if she’d just realized what she'd said, her face fell and her hand covered her runaway mouth. "God, honey, I'm sorry—"
I don't know how I kept the smile on my face, even while knowing that Bailey would see right through it. We'd practically grown up together, and had been besties long before Moody and Sax had come into our lives. I took a deep breath to calm the emotion threatening to spill over.