“Let go,” I encourage. “I promise I’m okay.”
Apparently, those are the words he needed to hear because he pushes in as far as he can go.
We’re both loud, moaning and cursing as I run my hand down his back and feel the ripples of his muscles tensing.
He rolls his hips, but his movements are slow and languid.
I feel all of him, but it’s still not enough.
I want him to surround me and consume all of me.
“Kiss me,” I beg him.
He takes my mouth as softly as he’s taking my body.
Warmth fills my stomach while my heart thuds.
We’re connected in a way I’ve never been to another person. Not physically but inside.
It’s like every thought about this not working out gets dimmer and dimmer with every thrust Lyric makes. Every time he moves inside me, it’s like we’re giving each other another piece of ourselves.
It’s intense and something that would usually freak me out, but when I break my lips away from his and look up into his eyes, all that’s inside me is the feeling of being complete.
Whole.
It drives my need and fuels my lust.
With his eyes on mine, Lyric increases his pace.
“Harder.” I grunt.
He does as I say.
Heat pools in my gut, and I’ve never known sex to be an emotional act before.
This is new to me, but as Lyric takes me—claims me—all I can do is let it ride.
His mouth drops open, and I know he’s getting close.
I try to reach between us to jerk off and get to where he is, but as if sensing my need, Lyric does it for me.
His fingers wrap around my dick and pump hard. “I’ve got you.”
The sincerity in his voice and everything about the gesture has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with us. It’s heavy, yet it doesn’t feel like I can’t handle it.
He takes my mouth with his once more, and my orgasm rocks through my entire body. He continues to pump into me, continues to claim my body, and when he shudders and stills on top of me, I realize it’s over.
I don’t want it to be.
I want to hold on to us for as long as I can.
Chapter Twenty
Lyric
Tonight has been crazy.
After collapsing on top of Ryder to catch my breath, I only manage to roll off him when he taps my shoulder to get me to move.
From his messy light brown hair that’s usually sticking straight up to his puffy well-kissed lips, he’s like this perfect package of a guy I’ve only ever dreamed about before.
And he’s next to me.
Naked.
Ryder rolls onto his side, and I follow him so we’re facing each other.
We’re both sweaty, both spent, but he still leans over and nips my bottom lip while he reaches for the condom under the sheet to ditch it beside the bed for now.
“You’re a fucking tease,” I grumble.
“I’d so go another round if I could, but I think you broke me. My dick is insistent on sleeping.”
I laugh. “Mine too.” I open my arms for him to come to me, but he stares at me weird. “Oh. Are you not a cuddler? That might be a deal breaker for me.”
Ryder wiggles his way into my side, and I wrap myself around him. “I’m not used to this. Being affectionate after sex. This whole thing is weird. Only made weirder by the fact we have to pretend nothing happened when we wake up tomorrow.”
It’s like a slap to the face, and I must flinch or show it.
“In front of Kaylee, I mean.”
I relax at that, but he doesn’t stop.
“I didn’t mean we had to forget it. I don’t want to forget it. But Kaylee …”
“Kaylee can’t know yet. I understand that one hundred percent.”
“Not until I know what this even is. Right now, it’s experiencing something more than I ever have for the first time. I don’t know what that means.”
I want to argue that it means he might be ready to open his heart to someone fully, but I don’t want to throw that revelation at him. He has to get there in his own time.
Being with him tonight has reassured me that it’s me he wants, and that’s enough for me for now.
I feared I might be another Cash to him—that he was lonely, and I was an option because of our proximity.
But something changed tonight. For both of us.
Ryder may still be unsure about how this will work and exactly what he wants, but it’s obvious he’s trying.
I know what I want from him. I want to do more of this. I want to build something from the ground up and form an actual relationship because that’s who I am. Every guy I meet, every date I’ve had, I try to imagine what we’d be like as a couple.
I learned in college that you don’t actually say that shit aloud, though. That stuff tends to scare guys off. It’s why I’ve become so wary about dating apps. They’re really fucking apps and nothing more.
Ryder’s eyes are now closed, and I assume he’s going to sleep, but the next minute, one eye pops open. “How do you sleep next to someone?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m too conscious of your body. And your breathing.”
“Sorry, I’ll stop breathing.”
Ryder laughs. “Thank you. Problem solved.”
“I still don’t know how you’ve never done this before.”
“I’ve legit only spent one night cuddled up with someone, and it was because they were going through some shit. I didn’t sleep, though.”
“With Maggie?”
He huffs. “No, actually. With someone from Eleven.”
“Ryley4Ever is real!” I get maybe a little too excited about that possibility.
“Not one bit, but it was Harley. We’re like brothers.”
“Damn.” I kiss the top of his head. “The image of you and Harley together is hot as fuck.”
“Really? But we’re so lame and lazy and—”
“God, I hate you,” I mutter. “Besides, admitting Harley is gorgeous is not exactly complimenting you on your music.”
“Who’s hotter? Me or Harley?”
“Hands down no contest.” I hold him close. “Definitely Harley.”
Ryder swats my chest.
“I’m kidding. I’d choose you any day of the week.”
Ryder yawns.
“You should try to sleep. Stick to your side of the bed if you have to.”
“No, let’s do this. I can totally cuddle.”
He says that, and then he proceeds to wiggle and get more and more frustrated.
“Roll over,” I eventually grumble because now I can’t sleep.
Ryder rolls away from me, and I lay my arm over his waist.
He settles almost immediately.
“Finally,” I murmur into the back of his hair.
He releases a long breath and whispers, “Yeah, this isn’t so bad.”
When I wake, I’m surprised to find us still tangled together. We moved during the night, but I’m still spooning him. Ryder’s partially on his stomach, and my leg sits between his.
I breathe in the scent of sex and hold him a little closer. “I have bad news for you,” I mutter.