I strip down to my boxer briefs and slide into bed beside him.
He smells like shampoo and cologne, and his hair is sticking up at all angles like he went to bed with it wet.
As tempting as it is to wake him and kiss him and take his body, I’m not that mean. Or desperate.
I mean, I’m pretty desperate for him, but if he’s as exhausted as I have been lately, it really would be cruel to wake him.
And when I curl up behind him and pull him against me, all he does is let out a sweet moan before his breathing evens back out.
I kiss the back of his head and crash hard.
It feels like I only blink when the sun cracks through Ryder’s window.
I reach for him, but the bed beside me is cold and empty. I didn’t even wake when he slipped out of bed, much like he didn’t notice when I got in it.
This is what a relationship with him will be like. It’s what any relationship with kids is like, I’m assuming.
Between each other’s jobs, me gigging at night, and Kaylee waking early, there are going to be a lot of missed opportunities and mornings apart.
I think I’d be okay with that, but if I’m signed to a label it’ll be ten times worse.
I can’t help wondering what it would be like to have him with me through all that when it happens.
If it happens.
It’s obvious he misses the business. He misses singing. He misses being in the spotlight.
I wish I could give him everything or make him see he deserves to have it all, but he’s as stubborn as I am when he gets something in his head.
His number one priority is protecting Kaylee.
I just think he can have his career and protect her at the same time. It might take some compromise and help from Maggie, but it’s not as impossible as he thinks it is.
I slowly rise and reach for my jeans on the floor to fish out my phone.
Almost dead. Of course.
Because instead of getting my charger from the overnight bag I brought last night, I jumped straight into bed.
There’s a message from Ryder to come downstairs whenever I want. He has Kaylee in her playroom, so she won’t know I haven’t come from the front door.
I move about Ryder’s room and plug in my charger and phone and then change into the clothes I packed for today.
The shirt with Ryder’s face mocks me from the bag, and as tempting as it is to wear it to Disneyland to taunt him all day, it’ll only draw attention, and the last thing we need is for him to be recognized while we’re there.
When I reach the playroom, they’re at the small table eating breakfast.
“Who’s ready for—” I start, but Ryder makes a slashing movement at his throat.
“For?” Kaylee asks, her big green eyes looking up at me.
“For breakfast!”
She frowns. “I’m already eating it.”
“Oh. Well, where’s mine?”
Ryder laughs. “Would you like what she’s having?”
I look at the bowl of mush in front of her. “Not really.”
“See, Daddy. Even Lyric won’t eat it. Yucky.”
Ugh. Mush it is. “Of course I’ll eat it. If you eat the healthy stuff, you get a treat. That’s, like, the law of the world.”
“What kind of treat?”
“A hug?”
She screws up her face.
“Hmm, candy?”
Her face smooths. “I’m listening …”
“Tell you what. If you finish that whole bowl before I finish mine, you get to pick which candy I’ll buy you later.”
She starts shoveling the food into her mouth while Ryder gives me an appreciative smile.
After our disgustingly healthy plain bowls of oatmeal, I silently beg him to put his daughter out of her misery.
“Hey, bub? You know what I was thinking we could do today?”
“You working? Is that why Lyric’s here?”
“Nope. I thought he might like to come with us when we go to …”
The suspense is even killing me, and I know where we’re going.
“Disneyland!”
Her adorable little face lights up, and she does that excited squeal thing again I wish would die a horrible, horrible death.
But she’s still cute, and it takes me less than ten minutes to get her ready to go even with all the squirming she does while we try to put her shoes on.
Ryder fills a backpack full of water and snacks, and on our way out, he dons his famous-guy disguise.
I don’t know how many people are fooled by a hat and sunglasses, but it’s not like they can do much else, I guess.
“Don’t celebrities get, like, special entrance and things at Disneyland?” I ask.
“Ugh, we can do that if you want, but they have a staff member follow you around, and it just draws more attention to you. The only good thing about it is we get to skip lines, but I don’t know if it’s worth it. I want this to be as normal an experience as possible for her.”
Kaylee is an excited ball of energy during the long-ass drive, and I don’t think she’s taken a breath the whole time.
It doesn’t stop while we park or walk a million miles to the gates either.
“She’s going to exhaust herself before we even get in,” Ryder says only loud enough so I can hear.
“It’s cute you think that. Really. True fact about kids: they drain their parents of all their energy much like the witches in Hocus Pocus. It’s why they never stop and why you’re so exhausted you don’t even wake up to someone climbing into bed with you.”
“That so wasn’t the plan.”
I smile. “I know. It wasn’t my plan to sleep through you getting up this morning either.”
I want to reach for his hand or do any sort of normal coupley crap with him but know I can’t.
“I’ll make it up to you,” he promises.
I step closer and press against him but not in an overly obvious way. “Can’t wait.”
Once we’re through security and the gates of California Adventure, I turn to Kaylee.
“Where to first?”
Little Miss Precocious looks at me with disappointment. “Mickey ears, Lyric.”
“Duh, Lyric,” Ryder taunts.
“Oh, silly me. How could I not have known that?”
Okay, so I’ve only been to Disney once as a kid. We never had the money, and as an adult, it never appealed to me all that much.
Seeing it all from my grown-up perspective, this place is insane.
Who the hell knew how much Mickey merch there was?
We go through a few stalls before Kaylee drags us to a bigger store. There’s a whole section of Pride ears, and I am so here for it.
Kaylee picks the black Minnie ears with a rainbow bow.
“Good choice,” I tell her.
“What are you going to get?”
“Hmm …” I tap my chin. “I don’t know. What do you think I should get?”
“This!” She takes a red hat with rainbow ears off the stand.
“Ooh, I like it. But I think this would look better on Daddy.” I’m probably lucky Ryder’s wearing dark glasses and I can’t see what I presume is a glare.
Ryder doesn’t hesitate. He ditches his current hat and dons the red Mickey one.
I turn back to the wall of possibilities. “I think I want one with a bow.”