"Just imagine I'm there next to you." His voice is rough, strained with emotion. "Lying next to you in bed. Can you do that for me?”
"Yeah," I whisper.
"Good girl." Still, the two little words send a shiver of excitement through my body. "Close your eyes for me. Imagine I'm there - or if not me, someone that could comfort you. Maybe your sister?"
My bottom lip wobbles at the mention of Andie. I miss her so much it fucking hurts. "Okay," I manage to get out.
"I'd hold you so tight right now, Pandora," Dexter mutters. "I'd hold you right against my chest and whisper in your ear that everything's going to be okay. That I'm going to take care of you. That I'll make sure they pay for what they did to you. Can you imagine it for me? My arms around you. My lips against your forehead. Just holding you and telling you everything's going to be okay."
"Yes." My eyes are getting heavy. His words are actually helping, though I'll never admit it. "Keep going, Dexter... please."
If he's surprised that I asked him to keep going, he doesn't show it. Instead, he keeps talking to me in low, calming tones, and they slowly lull me to sleep. My eyes close with the phone still pressed against my ear, and when I wake up hours later, the call is over, and I'm all alone in the darkness.
3
Pandora
I drag myself out of bed the next morning, groaning when I look at my reflection in the mirror. I look like I’ve been dragged through the mud.
A long, hot shower makes me feel marginally better, and I draw out the time spent in my bathroom, scrubbing myself down until my skin is burning. It's time for another family breakfast, one I'm dreading, because I know it's going to change the course of my life. Father already threatened to take away my Firstborn privileges before, and I have a feeling I won't be able to convince him to keep this secret.
Getting dressed in a simple white dress and black tights, I slowly make my way downstairs. I'm the first one at the breakfast table, and I slide into a chair silently, my eyes glued to the plate in front of me.
The others walk in without saying a word to me. Tatianna, beautiful and somewhere far away in her thoughts. Bryony, who pays no mind to me and places a single wedge of orange on her breakfast plate from the massive selection before us. I guess that's her breakfast.
Father and Brazen walk in together, deep in a discussion I'd rather not hear. We are all there now, and we pile our plates and dig into breakfast. The feeling of dread in my tummy won't go away though, and I shiver thinking about what Father will do next. I don't have to wait for long. Not even ten minutes into the meal, he clears his throat and says my name in his authoritative voice that leaves no room for arguing.
I look up at him, eyes wide and pleading with him to have some mercy for me, even though I know it's hopeless. His own gaze is harsh and unrelenting, and he begins speaking without so much as asking me how I'm feeling after last night.
"I've come to the conclusion that I cannot keep forgiving you for your transgressions," Father says. "I've done it for long enough, and all it's done is enable you. It's time you became a proper member of this family. I don't make excuses for my children, and I have been going easy on you since you came back."
I'm tempted to laugh out loud, but his serious expression stops me in my tracks. Best not feed with the beast.
"Given my decision, I'll be the first to explain what's going to happen next." He places his hands on the table, his eyes drilling into mine. "As of today, you are no longer a Firstborn."
My heart sinks at the words. He might as well give me a death sentence. I'm done in Eden Falls now. I don't argue right away, too stumped for words as I listen to him go on.
"As of right now, all Firstborn rights and privileges are going to your brother," he says, giving Brazen a firm smile. "I trust you'll make me proud, son."
I follow his gaze to Brazen, his eyes shifting away from mine, as if he can't quite bear to look at me. Of course he fucking can't. He knows as well as I do - as well as Father does - what this means for me.
"So that's it," I manage. "It's over, just like that."
"No," Father hisses. "It's not over, you spoiled brat. You still have a duty, a role to fulfill in this family."
"Is that so?" My words are dripping with sarcasm and I toss my napkin on the table. "And by that you mean I have to marry whoever you think will give you the most advantage in this town."
"Listen, you ungrateful little whore," Father says, his voice shockingly calm and a sharp contrast to the words leaving his lips. "You're a pawn. The sooner you realize that, the better. Be lucky I haven't sent you back to St. Cecile to spend the rest of your sorry life there."
"You don't own me."
"That's where you're wrong," he tells me with gusto. "And don't you fucking forget it, daughter."
I look at Tianna and Bryony for back up, but neither of them wants to meet my eyes. "Fine," I snicker. "Let it be that way, then. You can have your picture perfect family. But don't think I won't spend a lifetime fighting this. Fighting you."
"I'd like to see you try." I hate how confident he is. How easily he dismisses me, as if I'm nothing but a silly little girl who needs to be disciplined and sent on the right path. "Now, Brazen, as I've already explained, you'll have some new duties given the status you've just gotten. I expect you to treat me with respect, as opposed to your bratty sister here."
"I'm not-"
"Shut up," Tianna mutters, bumping my leg under the table and giving me a meaningful look. "Seriously. You're only digging yourself a deeper hole."
I sulk instead, glaring at Father as he explains his new role to my brother. But I can't hold my comments back for long, and soon enough, I open my mouth again.
"Who's Brazen going to marry, then?" Brazen's eyes warn me to shut up, but I refuse to heed the warning. "Can he marry anyone he wants?"
"He'll marry Coco Rose," Father says calmly, making me burst out. "What, you stupid girl? What is it now?"
"Coco Rose?" I repeat. "But he doesn't... he barely knows her! And you know he's in love with-"
"Pandora." Brazen's voice is dripping with venom. "I think you should shut the fuck up now."
"And I think you should-"
"Enough!" Father's hand slams on the table, rendering us all speechless. "You need to start listening to the people who outrank you, Pandora. And you need to start being such a smart-mouthed brat, because it's not going to work out for you."
I've heard enough of Father's threats to know he's serious, so I take his advice and keep my mouth shut. Despite everything I can't help but feel a little sorry for Brazen. He's in the same conundrum as I was now, forced to marry someone he barely knows and certainly doesn't have any feelings for.
I stay quiet for the rest of our meal, and the moment Father gets up to leave, I push my chair back too, eager to get the hell away from them.