‘Did you wear a kilt?’ I asked.
‘I actually did! Want to see a photo?’ he said, smiling.
‘I do!’
He went through his Instagram and popped a group photo up.
‘Nice legs,’ I said, while giving him a flirty smile.
‘Thanks, it was so comfy. I’d wear it all the time if I could.’
‘I’d be happy with that.’
Calm down, Leo. Quit your predatory ways.
‘I’ll show you one day,’ he said.
Maybe he was into it just as I was.
‘Sara, I have to pop out for a second to do a phone call,’ Abigail announced. ‘It’s for the podcast tour. I’ll be quick.’
‘Abigail’s podcast has taken over the nation!’ said Emma.
‘I went to see her live, and she was incredible. She’s probably made a fortune from her tour alone,’ I said. I didn’t consider her a ‘rich friend’ when I first met her, but I think she had become the richest of them all.
Bitch.
Sara went into the changing room with the short shop assistant and I was left alone with Emma and Duncan. I kept sipping my champagne and tapping my leg on the floor.
‘So, Leo. Are you still working in Knightsbridge?’ she asked, making eye contact with her big green eyes, same as Sara’s.
‘Yeah. It’s a nightmare this time of year.’
‘I hate going around there. I can’t afford anything,’ said Duncan.
‘You and I both,’ I replied.
‘But you’re always wearing designer clothes!’ said Emma, with a little giggle.
‘We do staff sales sometimes and I can get away with buying things with a 90 percent discount.’
Sometimes I’d play with the discount code, just so I’d get something for cheap. Huge sackable offence.
‘That’s a perk!’ exclaimed Duncan. ‘I am still waiting for the perks of my job that don’t involve being ordered around for over eight hours a day.’
‘Oh, don’t be envious. It’s a tiny droplet of a perk in an ocean of melted crap.’
‘Well, remember that working with books is what I do, so if you ever want me to take a look…’
Before I could say anything back to Emma, Sara opened the changing room curtains all of a sudden, appearing as a white blob, wearing an ill-fitting bunch of lace and silk. She obviously hated it. You could tell her ‘feeling fat’ was taking over her mood.
‘Obviously not this,’ she said, annoyed. ‘I really don’t know.’
‘You have tried one. There’s about three hundred in this room alone. Try a bunch and we will decide,’ said Emma, trying to be the voice of reason.
‘This is a waste of time,’ Sara said, while closing the curtains and being the opposite of reason.
I decided to walk into the changing room to see what was going on.
‘Oi, are you okay, woman?’
‘I’m feeling overwhelmed,’ she said while sitting down with an unzipped wedding dress on. ‘I don’t know if I want to do this.’
‘Jesus, what the fuck? One dress down and you’re having an existential crisis already?’
‘Alfie and I have only been living together for a year. I don’t know.’
‘You’ll live together for another few months before you actually tie the knot. You’re going to love these months. You’ll have crazy monkey sex and shout at each other because of stupid wedding planning shit. But eventually it’ll be worth it.’
‘He still watches Sunday cartoons!’
‘Yeah, so do I!’
‘He votes conservative, Leo.’
‘I don’t know how to respond to that.’
‘I just don’t want to ruin everything. Look at you and Jake. You don’t even speak anymore.’
‘Jake and I didn’t speak for a great deal of our last year together. Don’t take that as an example.’
‘Uhm, maybe,’ she mumbled, while looking at a rack of dresses with a disgusted face.
‘Have you really not found anything that you actually like?’
‘There’s this one,’ she said while grabbing a long-sleeved piece. ‘But I’m scared I’ll sweat off my tits in Greece if I wear this.’
‘Just give it a try and shut the hell up. I’m going to go for a wee. You better be wearing some bridal shit when I get back,’ I said while leaving the changing room and heading for the toilet.
My blood was rushing to my head. I wasn’t feeling good. All I wanted was to kneel and to hurl everything that was in my body. I vomited loudly and for a prolonged period of time. I couldn’t put a stop to it. I wasn’t sure why I was feeling like this. Perhaps I was somewhat triggered by the wedding talk? Or maybe the champagne in the morning wasn’t an optimal choice. Either way, my head was completely inside a toilet, and that was not where I wanted to be.
The Bridesmaids irony was obviously not lost on me.
CHAPTER 12
£1602.56
‘Can we please talk soon?’
I had been ignoring Jake’s calls and texts for days. I’d read the text, let him know I had read it and never reply. It was a chilly morning of mid-November.
‘Coming to London for a weekend. Keen to have dinner together?’
I wasn’t sure if Jimmy wanted to set up a ‘paid’ meeting, but I was pleased to see him, even if it was just lunch and a fuck. I’d throw that for free, if there was no reward included. I had the day off, so I decided to accept Andrew’s invitation to hang out together for lunch. I hadn’t seen him in a few days. Lately he had been working late, so I’d hardly see him come home.
I had just left Victoria Station, walked through the hordes of tourists and white collars wandering around, and crossed the main road to get to a small Italian restaurant close to Andrew’s workplace. He was already waiting there, which was unusual for any of my friends. My face felt overtaken with the worry he had something serious to share that he couldn’t tell me via text.
The restaurant was just hidden in a corner, with bright red checkerboard tablecloths. It looked family run. It was cosy, with mood lighting on. If I didn’t know better, this looked like a date place. Andrew was sitting at a table at the back, going through stuff on his iPad. He was wearing a baby-blue shirt worn under a V-neck navy jumper. That was pretty much his work uniform, just different colours of shirts and jumpers each day.
‘I gather you didn’t want to sit by the window?’ I asked to gain his attention.
‘You know I hate those seats,’ he said. ‘I don’t want weird people walking by watching me eat.’
‘Of course,’ I said while sitting down and putting my jacket behind my chair. ‘So, what kind of lunch is this? The one where we can or cannot drink wine?’
‘Yeah, go for it. I have no meetings later.’ He got the waiter’s attention and ordered a bottle of red. I was unsure of which one, as Andrew was a bit of a wine snob and would actually spend time picking one. He’d probably scouted the menu beforehand.
‘This is so nice!’ I said, while looking around.
‘Yeah, I eat here a little too often. But it’s so damn good.’