It’s not a complete lie. I am still sore from earlier. Jasen is well-endowed. But I’m mentally distracted. All I can think about is what Monroe must be thinking, which is the worst. And she’d be right. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I nod. “I’m okay.”
He searches my eyes for something, but what, I don’t know. He moves a piece of hair away from my face. “I don’t think you have any idea how much I love you.”
I don’t. And I don’t think Monroe does either.
I almost cry. I almost tell him the truth. He’s in love with his wife. A wife who couldn’t care less about his feelings. A wife who has made it clear she’s in love with someone else. He shouldn’t love her. Because she doesn’t love him. But it’s hard to tell him this. Because although Monroe doesn’t love him… I do.
Monroe
I’m fucking livid with Morgan. Going to Vegas with Jasen? That was not part of the plan. She took it upon herself to make that decision without consulting me first. She knows I wouldn’t have agreed. I barely traveled with Jasen. But that’s not the reason I’m pissed. I’m pissed because I’m starting to think that Morgan is forgetting this isn’t real. She’s forgetting that Jasen is my husband, not hers. Time and time again, she’s told me I’m making a mistake. That I need to end things with Cooper and work things out with my husband. And I refused. But now I’m thinking she’s right. I’ve made a huge mistake. Cooper said that Jasen has sounded happy lately. Happier than he’s been in a long time. And it’s because Morgan hasn’t done a damn thing we agreed on. I knew she couldn’t act like me. No matter how much I tried to teach her. If she had stuck with the plan, Jasen would still be miserable. This way, it would be much easier to ask for a divorce when Cooper and I return. I’m hit with a feeling I didn’t think was possible: jealousy. The thought of Jasen being happy with someone else makes me green with envy. And the thought of him sleeping with my own sister makes me furious. I asked her if she’d slept with him. She didn’t answer. I’ve been calling her constantly, but no response. I’m going crazy wondering what is going on between them. I need answers. And I need them now.
I guess I’ve always known it would come to this at some point or another. I love Jasen, but I don’t think I ever really fell in love with him. I love him dearly, and I really tried to be the best wife that I could be. But I don’t love him the way he loves me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Jasen is a good man. Most women would think they hit the jackpot. But not me. I’ve been unhappy for a long time. And who’s to say it won’t happen with Cooper? I’m a free spirit. Sexually fluid. Is it possible for me to settle down with any man?
“There you are,” Cooper says as he steps onto the balcony.
“Hey.”
The sunrays bounce off his skin as he steps forward. “You’ve been out here for hours.”
“I needed time to think.”
He takes a seat beside me. “Are you okay?”
My eyes meet his, and my heart melts. I really care for Cooper. But some small piece of me knows it won’t be long before I get bored with him also. I’m not capable of love. I know because although I love both Jasen and Cooper, my love is conditional. Fleeting. What’s the use of leaving my husband for a man who I’ll most likely get tired of at some point? I should get rid of them both and live single and free. “Do you think we’re doing the right thing?”
He grabs my hand. “Yes. We love each other, right?”
I nod. “But is that enough?”
He cocks his head to the side. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No, I…”
“What is it?”
“I’m just not sure this is right, Cooper. Are we only happy with each other because we’re unhappy with our spouses?”
He jerks his hand away. “Are you really asking me that? Monroe, I’m willing to risk everything for you. Do you think Jasen and I will still be partners once he finds out? Do you think Simone will let this go easily? Jesus, she’s going to try to take me for everything I’ve got. But I don’t care about any of that. I don’t care because I love you.”
I shut my eyes tightly. I knew what the risks were. But hearing him name them makes me feel guilty. “Cooper, I love you too. I’m just saying that maybe we should take a step back and really think about what we’re doing.”
He pushes to his feet angrily. “I know exactly what I’m doing. I knew what I was doing the minute I fucked you. All those hours spent in hotel rooms. All the late-night phone calls. I knew what I was getting into. I knew what I wanted. And I thought you felt the same.”
I rise to my feet slowly. “You know how I feel about you, Cooper.”
“No. I thought I knew. Right now, I have no idea what’s going on with you.”
I place my hands on my hips. “I don’t like your tone.”
He huffs. “And I don’t like the fact that the woman I’m in love with thinks she can just turn this on and off like a fucking faucet. Listen to me and listen good, Monroe. We’re in this deep now. And I’m not letting you go.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I ask.
He watches me with piercing eyes. “It means we’ve fallen in love with each other. And even though it may be wrong that it happened, we’ve made our bed. Now we’re going to lie in it… together.”
Chapter 11
Morgan
I lie awake and stare at the ceiling, wondering if I’m about to do the right thing. I tossed and turned all night, riddled with guilt and shame about what I’ve been doing. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done lying. I’m done pretending. I’ve got to come clean with Jasen, even if it means throwing my sister under the bus. I didn’t think I would fall for him. Especially this quickly. But I did. He enters the hotel room carrying his briefcase. “Hey.”
I rise and sit at the edge of the bed. “Hey.”
He places his briefcase on the table. “I figured we could…”
He stops speaking as he walks towards me. “Hey, are you okay?”
I’m not okay. I’ve been crying, and I’m sure my swollen, red eyes give it away. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
I open my mouth to tell him, but nothing comes out. This is harder than I thought it would be. He’s going to hate Monroe for what she’s done. He’s going to hate the both of us. “I…”
I choke as the tears fall harder and the sobs rock me gently. He falls to his knees and wraps his arms around my waist. “Baby, tell me, what is it?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
It’s all I can muster. All I can do right now is apologize for something he has no idea has happened. He wipes my tears away with his thumb. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”
You don’t understand. It’s not okay.
I sniffle. He stands to his feet, grabs some tissues, and hands them to me. I take them and blow my nose. When my nose is clear and my tears have lessened, I look up at him. “I’m sorry. You deserve so much better.”