I paced the perimeter of the bathroom. “Well, this is taking forever.”
“Come here.” Penny lifted her hand, and I clasped it in mine, lowering myself to sit beside her on the tile floor. “What do you want the outcome of this pregnancy test to be?”
“I ...” I blew out a stream of air through my lips and looked into Penny’s big, beautiful eyes. “I know we didn’t plan for this to happen so soon, but I want it, Penny. I want the test to be positive.”
She smiled as she took my face into her hands. “I do too.”
I nuzzled my nose against hers. “Would be a pretty great wedding gift.”
She giggled. “I can’t wait to marry you tomorrow, Cole Luciano.”
“And I can’t wait to make you my wife.” I pulled Penny onto my lap, and as soon as I pressed my lips to hers, the timer on her phone dinged.
I threw her off me and bolted for the pee stick.
Penny’s laughter faded into the background as I gazed down at the two pink lines.
One line meant negative.
Two lines meant ...
“Positive. It’s positive. Penny, you’re pregnant!”
She wrapped her arms around my neck, smiling the biggest smile I’d ever seen on her, and looked up at me with watery eyes. “We’re having a baby.”
Tears blurred my vision. “A baby.”
“A little boy who looks just like you,” she whispered. “With captivating blue eyes and a heart of gold.”
“Or a beautiful little girl who looks like her mama, with warm brown eyes and the most genuine soul.”
“Maybe we’ll get lucky and have one of each.” She pulled back to look at me. “Don’t twins run in your family?”
“They do, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” I lifted her up and carried her into our bedroom. “We’ll start with one and work our way up to two.”
Penny laughed as she bounced back onto the bed. I crawled on top of her, and she wrapped her legs around my waist.
“Have I ever told you how much I love your laugh?”
She bit her bottom lip and nodded.
“And these lips,” I said as I kissed them.
I trailed kisses down her chest and stopped at her stomach. I pushed up her T-shirt and showered her stomach with affection. “I’m going to take care of you,” I whispered. “I’m going to do everything I can to be the best father and husband.”
Penny took my jaw in her hands and pulled me up until I was looking in her eyes. “I love you so much.”
“I love you more than you’ll ever know.”
“We’re going to be a beautiful family, Cole.”
A family.
“Always.”
Eighteen
Callie
It’s always disorienting waking up in someone else’s bed.
Even before you open your eyes, you can tell that you’re not at home. The sheets feel different against your skin. Your neck is out of whack from the pillow you aren’t used to sleeping on. The whir of the air conditioner seems louder. But waking up in Josie’s guest bedroom is an entirely different experience altogether. The noise level here with four kids, two of which are crying toddlers, is off the charts.
Though I’m only across the street from my house, it feels like I’m waking up in another life.
I suppose I am.
Dan’s words from last night echo in my mind. You’re the one who needs help, Callie.
It’s true. I need help.
How could I expect to help Paul when I’m such a mess inside?
Questions continue to assault me as I pull the white comforter up and hug it close. What am I going to do now? Where do I go from here?
I miss Maverick’s morning wet-nose kisses. Tears well at the thought of him looking for me when he wakes up. Part of me misses Paul too. I know I shouldn’t miss someone who hurts me, but I can’t help it. I still care about him. I’ve loved him for over a decade.
I wonder if I always will.
I’m not ready to face the day. To face the truth. To face Josie and her beautiful family. Reality is too real. Too raw. Too frightening.
Funny how living in a house with a man who hits me doesn’t seem so scary when I’m faced with the possibility of starting over.
Without him.
Alone.
I huff out a humorless laugh as my tears drop onto the pillow.
I must be really messed up.
I wallow in bed until a knock draws my attention to the door.
Josie sticks her head into the room. “You up?”
I push myself up to sit against the headboard. “Not sure I actually slept.”
She closes the door behind her. “We can be kind of loud. I was hoping we didn’t wake you.”
I shake my head. “You didn’t. And you don’t have to tiptoe around me. I’m in your house. You guys need to go about business as usual.”
The mattress dips down as Josie lowers herself onto the edge. “You’re crying.”
I nod, quickly swiping the evidence away. “Thinking about Maverick. Wondering how Paul’s doing. Not really sure what to do with myself today.”
“Right now, all you need to worry about is what you’re having for breakfast. We’ll keep an eye out for when Paul leaves for work, and then you can go see Mav. We’ll pack some clothes and essentials while we’re there too. Dan also has the number of his lawyer friend for you.”
I press the heels of my hands to my eyes. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.”
“Well, at least you’ll have it when you are.” She pauses. “Callie, everything is going to be okay. I know it seems scary right now, but you’re going to get through this. I’m here for you, and I’m going to help you. I won’t let Paul hurt you again.”
I know she won’t, but the real question is, why did I?
“Come down and have something to eat when you’re ready. We can come up with a plan. I know that’s what’s bouncing around in that head of yours.”
I offer her a small smile. “Sure.”
I wash up in the bathroom, using a spare toothbrush, and try to use my hair to cover the bruising along my neck. The last thing I want is for Brandon or Miles to notice it. They’re innocent kids and shouldn’t be subjected to the violence in my life.
Out of all the bruises Paul’s given me, this set of purple finger marks is the most upsetting. It physically pains me to look at myself in the mirror like this. The man I love, the man I married, tried to choke the life out of me.
Why?
Before I spiral any further, I force myself out of the bathroom and down the stairs.
“Callie!” Brandon and Miles charge toward me, knocking over their chairs at the kitchen table.
“Whoa.” I brace myself for impact as they crash into my midsection. “What’s all this about?”
“You and Mom aren’t fighting anymore,” Brandon says. “And you’re going to live with us!”
I laugh, squeezing them as tight as I can. “For a little while.”
Miles looks up at me, his glasses crooked from our embrace. “It’ll be like a really long slumber party. We can have wrestling matches and watch movies!”