I nodded, wondering—not for the first time—what my life would be like now if my parents hadn’t died in the fire. I hadn’t been old enough to know them well past the general knowledge that they’d been kind to me. I’d been lucky. They’d spent what little disposable income they had on me along with all their free time. I hadn’t appreciated it then, of course. It had just been my life.
I’d regretted not having them around to argue with when I was a teen. There’d been no one to cry to when Devon had ended our relationship. There were a hundred million things that came up day to day—how to navigate through the world, how to fix a toilet, how to deal with a boss who asked me on dates. My aunt treated me like her baby sister, which was great, but it wasn’t the same as having a parent or two to lean on.
He cleared his throat. “Sorry. That probably sounds ungrateful to you, considering. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind a few nosy relatives in your life.”
“It’s easy to covet what other people have, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t feel the same way if the situation was reversed.”
The occasional house flashing past broke up the almost solid wall of trees and rocks as we cruised down the highway. He was so much more chill than Vandal, even when it came to his driving.
“True.”
“I don’t know if my parents and I had significant differences in our beliefs. Of course, I remember them being perfect because they were what I knew, but that doesn’t mean I would have kept that feeling my whole life. I have the luxury of pretending things would have been idyllic, but it’s probably far-fetched. I think every family has its struggles.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Seeing parents through adult eyes must be a sobering experience.”
He sighed. “Yeah. Sometimes it’s hard to forgive someone for not being perfect when you’ve always looked up to them.”
I turned toward him and grinned. “That’s how I feel about Vandal. Talk about bursting a girl’s bubble. I assumed he’d be a good guy, but he’s such a dick.”
“The fact that he’s hot doesn’t make up for his attitude problem, but he’s dealing with his own shit.”
“Like?”
“You’ll have to ask him. It’s not my story to tell.”
As we were in the middle of laughing and yelling along with “Mr. Brightside” on the radio, and I was imagining how smoking hot Zero would be in guyliner, we pulled into the parking lot of the health unit. I gritted my teeth at the wave of panic that suddenly washed over me at the sight of the orange brick building.
“What’s wrong?” Zero had put his truck in park and was looking at me. I’d stopped singing.
I wasn’t even sure they would see me without an appointment, but I was willing to wait all day if I needed to. If it didn’t work out, the plan was we would go to a pharmacy for condoms, but both of us thought the feel of having me locked in the basement would be a lot more organic if we didn’t have to pause for condoms in the heat of the moment.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m afraid of needles so I’m giving myself a moment to process the fact that I have to be tough.”
“How can you be a masochist and be afraid of needles?”
“Have you seen any tattoos on my body?”
“No, but I’ll gladly take a closer look when we get home.”
“I don’t have any, but you’re definitely welcome to check me over with a magnifying glass if that’s one of your kinks.”
“Maybe I’ll get my camera out later and take some close-ups for my own personal use.”
“And you’re not going to post them?”
He looked appalled. “I would never post sexy pictures of someone without their consent. I’m not a dirtbag.”
“Sorry. I didn’t really think you would. It’s just that sometimes you think you know someone, then find out later you were very wrong.”
He grimaced at me, getting a mean glint in his eyes. “Give me a name and address I’ll take care of that for you.”
There was something seriously hot about a man who was willing to defend a girl’s honor, and something even hotter about Zero when he went from his usual hot guy mode to mean guy mode.
“A call from the cops convinced him to take them down, thankfully. I do have copies of them on a flash drive if you ever want to see them.”
“Oh, I’m definitely interested if you want to show them to me. Unless they were taken without your permission?”
“No, no. It was my last dominant. He left me after apparently cheating on me for ages, but still felt entitled to post old pics without my permission. You can imagine my surprise as I was scrolling through my favorite smut site only to find the pictures he’d taken of me. I’m sure there are still a few of them floating around out there from people who copied them instead of sharing from his blog, but hey, there’s naked pictures of almost everyone on the internet nowadays, right?”
“I’d imagine so. I know there are a few of me. Luckily, not my face, considering what I was doing.”
“Oh my.”
“I was young and reckless.” He shrugged, looking at the building and then back at me. “Are you stalling?”
“I am.”
“Do you want me to go in with you?”
I hesitated, wanting to say yes, but embarrassed to ask.
Without waiting for an answer, he unbuckled his seatbelt, opened the door, then came around to open my door when I didn’t immediately follow suit. I covered my seatbelt with my hands when he tried to unbuckle me and he stopped, taking my chin gently in his hand and angling my face toward him.
He waited until I was looking directly into his eyes before saying, “If you don’t want to do this we can leave. No pressure. Condoms are a completely workable option.”
“They’re inconvenient.”
“So what? We’re grown-ups. We can deal with it. I like seeing you afraid, but the fact that it’s not me you’re afraid of right now is making me jealous.” He winked, and I couldn’t help but laugh which was obviously his intent. “Say the word and we’re headed down the street to the pharmacy.”
“This is way more convenient, and I prefer it. I just wish that was a way to get it done without having to think about it.”
“I could probably get you drunk or drug you with something, but I’m assuming the staff might have an objection to administering birth control to a woman who’s obviously out of it.”
“What if I wrote you a note?”
“I don’t think a note will cut it, sweetheart.” His smile was gorgeous, showing off his straight white teeth and pretty eyes to their best advantage. He saw something in my gaze that turned his smile more than a little suggestive, and I unbuckled and turned toward him, then slid off the seat, and down the front of him until I was pinned between him and my seat.
He groaned in appreciation and ran his fingers through the sides of my hair, then cradled the back of my head in his palms.
“You really know how to tempt a man,” he said, his voice thick with approval.
“We probably shouldn’t make out in the parking lot, considering what we’re here for.”