I open my laptop and pull up the FaceTime app. I click on my mom’s name, and it starts making that familiar ringing sound. In seconds Mom’s face appears on the screen. Everyone always thinks that we’re sisters, not mother and daughter.
I have her wavy, light brown hair, pale blue eyes, her petite stature, but I’m slightly curvier. Our eyes are almost too big for our faces, and our lips are plump, except I’m the one with a slight split in my lower lip.
“Hey, Mom.”
She waves. “Hey, baby. Are you ready for school to start tomorrow.”
“I am. I think this is going to be my most difficult year, but I’m ready.” I bite at my thumbnail. “I-I’m so grateful to you and Dad. I feel guilty, though, like I should’ve stayed home.”
Mom smiles softly at me. “Honey, you said the same thing last year. We wanted you to have the full college experience. We’re able to do this so you can focus on your studies and have a little fun. You’ve been through so much and have worked so hard.”
I hear a squeal and then the best thing I’ve ever done appears on my screen. “Mommy! I miss you.” My three-year-old daughter climbs onto my mom’s lap and leans forward. “You go to school.”
“Oh, baby, I miss you too. Mommy’s going to school tomorrow.”
My mom gets up and sets Ava on the chair. “I’ll leave you ladies to talk. I love you, honey.” Mom blows me a kiss and then kisses Ava’s cheek.
Ava is my clone down to the split in my lower lip. Thank God, I’d hate to see any of her father in her. “What did you and Nana do today?”
“We went to da park and to da stowe.” She leans in and rest her chin in her little chubby hands. “Whewe’s Coco?” That’s what she calls Nicole.
“She went to bed, but she told me to tell you hi. It’ll make Coco so happy you asked about her.” Her smile is a balm to my soul. “Where’s Uncle Jay?”
“Hims and Papa are watching based ball.”
Ava yawns widely, and her little eyes get heavy. “Go climb into bed and Mommy will read you Goodnight Moon.” She climbs down and runs to her bed, getting under the covers.
I pull out the book and begin to read. She lays on her side facing me, and the smile she gives me chokes me up. I’m not sure how I created that beautiful creature, but I’m thankful for her every day. Ava makes me want to be a better person. “I love you, baby girl.”
“I wuv you, Mommy.”
I finish the story, and when I close the book, her eyes are closed and if I listen closely I would hear her soft snoring. Tears fill my eyes as I take a few minutes to watch her.
While I’m away at school, this is our nightly ritual. If I was home, I’d be in bed with her right now. I know I’m pathetic living with my parents still, but I wanted to be done with school and able to buy us a home of our own, and I’ll be able to do that once I graduate and get a good job. Plus, my parents were insistent that they help—I think they like having a little one in the house again.
Like I said before, they saw how hard I worked to finish high school, pregnant and ostracized by everyone. They wanted me to come to college for the past two years, live the college life, and be a normal twenty-year-old even though I’m anything but normal, or at least I don’t feel normal.
While my classmates were getting ready to graduate high school, going to prom, and all the other fun high school stuff, I was taking care of a newborn and taking online college courses after finishing high school online almost a year ahead of schedule.
Now, three years later, I’m a senior who will be graduating with my masters in nutritional sciences.
I pick up my phone and send my mom a quick text.
Laken: She’s asleep.
A moment later Ava’s door opens, and my mom appears on the screen. “Did you have a good visit?”
“I did.” I bite my lip to keep from crying. “I miss her already.”
“Baby, you know you can come home every weekend if you want, but I also want you to go out and have some fun. Maybe meet a cute boy.”
I can only roll my eyes because I don’t have time for guys and plus, I don’t trust my judgment. After everything with Ava’s sperm donor I’m gun shy and don’t see that changing.
Of course when she mentions cute boys, the jerkface who stole my parking spot pops into my head, but I push him right back out. I need to just focus on my studies and building a good life for me and my daughter.
“Ugh… I don’t need to meet a cute boy.”
Mom holds up her hands in a surrendering gesture. “Okay, I get it. Have a good first day, and we’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you, and we’re so proud of you.”
I blow her a kiss, close my laptop, and crawl into bed where I cry because although it’s only been a little over a week, I miss my daughter terribly. I suck in a lungful of air and let it out slowly.
I grab my phone off of my nightstand and pull up my photos. Smiling, I swipe through my photos. One of the last ones I took of us was in the bathroom at home. We both had our hair in ponytails on top of our heads.
Our eyes are both covered in aviators. She had even wanted to dress like me so she was in a hot pink tank top and jean shorts—my tank top was black. We both made duck lips, and the picture was adorable.
I don’t take these to plaster all over social media because I don’t have any of it. After everything came out I had to deactivate it all. I take the pictures because my daughter is my everything, and I want those memories.
After exiting the app, I set my phone down and lay in the dark—grateful when sleep finally comes.
Chapter Three
Chance
“Great game, Chance,” two females call out in unison and begin giggling when I turn their way.
I give them my signature smile. “Why thank you, ladies. Come find me later and maybe I’ll buy you a drink.” They both nod eagerly, and I’m sure they’ll take me up on my offer. Hell, maybe I’ll take them home tonight.
School’s been back in session for a month, and so far I couldn’t ask for a better start to my senior year. I’m kicking ass in soccer—we’ve had only two games, but between the two I’ve scored five goals. I like all of my classes, and I swear the girls are hotter than ever before.
Even though the girls are hot, I’d love to see that sassy little number from that day at the bookstore again. Fuck, she was tiny, and there was something about her. I won’t lie, I’ve kept an eye out for her, but haven’t seen her anywhere.
Trey is by the bar and waves me over. “What’s up, bro?” He claps me on the back and hands me a beer.
“Thanks.” I tip it back and take a healthy swallow. We carry our beers over to the rest of our team and frat brothers that are here tonight. Sluggers has been our go-to bar since my buddies and me all turned twenty-one over the course of the last six months. “Nothing, just fucking stoked about our win today.”
Today we played USC and won 3-2. I scored two of those goals and one with a minute left on the clock. We’re playing better than ever and just gelling as a team.