50
Astrid
Everything ends. Even a war.
* * *
A harsh breath leaves my lips as I watch Levi’s retreating back from the window of my room.
An itch urges me to run after him and hug him.
I want to hug him so bad and not just because I need a hug myself.
When Sarah told me someone by the last name King came over, I nearly had a heart attack. It took everything in me not to go and protect him from Dad.
But I couldn’t face him.
I doubt I ever will.
Levi had a deep connection with his father and once he knows the truth about what happened three years ago, he won’t look at me again.
I hang my head against the window’s frame and hit my forehead over and over again.
A hug. I totally need a hug right now.
Fetching my phone, I open it. I’m bombarded by the notifications. I attempt to ignore them, but then I read a notification from the school’s students’ group.
‘There’s a murderer’s daughter in RES.’
My heartbeat almost leaps out of my throat as I open the original post.
Someone from the journalist group says that he received a tip that there’s a murder’s daughter studying in RES and he’ll soon reveal the name.
My breath becomes shortened and the room starts spinning.
How… How could they have found out so soon?
Only Dad and I knew.
And… Jonathan King. Could this be his way to destroy my father through me?
But wouldn’t that also sully the school’s name?
He owns most of the shares, why would he destroy it?
I’m about to call Dan when someone bangs on my door so hard, I flinch.
Before I can react, Nicole barges inside and closes the door behind her.
She’s dishevelled. Her eyes are bloodshot and tears stream down her cheeks. Her hair goes in all directions.
“What’s going —”
“I had nothing to do with whatever happened that night,” she blurts, eyes shifty. “I really know nothing about your accident, I just wanted Daniel. That’s all.”
“You wanted Daniel?” I repeat incredulous. “As in my best friend Dan?”
“Yes, yes, that Dan!”
“But… you always insult him and look down on him.”
“Defence mechanism, idiot,” she sniffles. “I didn’t mean to drug you. I gave him one shot and the other was supposed to be mine, but he had to snatch it from between my fingers and give it to you.”
Oh.
“Wait. Dan was also drugged?”
“Yes, and he spent the night with me.” She lifts her chin.
“Oh. My. God.” I stomp towards her. “What the fuck did you do to him, Nicole?”
“It’s all because of you,” she snarls back. “Since you came into my life, my house, my school, everything became fucking hell. He was mine first. I saw him first! Why can’t you just leave so everything can go back to the way it was?”
She storms out before I can say anything.
I don’t have time for her anyway.
Oh, God. I’ve been so blind this whole time.
I wasn’t the only one traumatised that night. Dan was assaulted, too. Why didn’t he say a word about it?
I call him, but he doesn’t pick up.
“Dammit, Dan,” My voice chokes. “Pick up.”
I continue calling him as I throw on a hoodie. I need to find him then strangle him for hiding this — after I hug him.
On my way out of my room, I barge into Dad. I step back, my head lowering.
“Uh, Dad.... Sorry, I mean Father. I have to see Dan.”
“Can that wait for a bit?” He walks inside. “Besides, Daniel is with the council.”
“F-for what?”
“His school orientation,” Dad says. “He mentioned it to Sarah when he came by this morning and you didn’t want to see anyone. He said he’ll drop by later.”
“Oh, right. Okay.” I release a breath. I don’t know why I thought he was in danger.
Dad continues walking into my room as if he’s seeing it for the first time.
I swallow. “Is there something you want to talk about, Dad?” I wince. “Sorry, I mean, Father.”
“Dad is fine.” His eyes soften. “I’m sorry I made you call me something you didn’t relate to, Astrid.”
“O-Okay.” I don’t know why I feel more nervous now that Dad is allowing me to call him Dad.
It strangely feels like the last meal they offer to inmates before their death sentence.
Will he announce that he’s adopting Nicole now?
He settles on the edge of the bed. “Do you want to sit down?”
I realise I’m hugging the doorframe as if I’m looking for an escape. With a reluctant heart, I release the door and step towards my father.
I sit as far away from him as I can while still on the same bed.
My heart beats so loud, I can only hear the buzzing in my ears. It’s like that time when both my parents sat me down to tell me that Dad won’t visit us as often anymore.
I’m bracing myself for the bad news. No matter how many of them I got lately, it doesn’t get easy.
Before he can speak, I blurt out what I’ve been a coward to say all these weeks. “I’m sorry, Dad.”
“For what?”
“For saying what I said that day. I was angry. I didn’t mean that, you know, wanted you dead. I don’t. You’re my… dad. I just miss my mum and I wish I had both of you beside me.”
He releases a long sigh. “Me, too.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Jasmine and I decided to reunite officially right before her accident.” A sheen of sadness covers his gaze. “It remained as a dream after all.”
“Wait. You planned to divorce Victoria? But wasn’t she your wife since I was seven?”
“On papers, yes. She’s the perfect wife chosen by my parents, but she was never my wife. Your mother is the only woman I wanted to marry.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“I did.” He scratches his forehead and clears his throat. “In Vegas.”
“Vegas? As in Las Vegas.”
“Yes. That’s the one.”
Whoa. I somehow can’t imagine my dad, Lord Henry Clifford, heir to the Clifford household and a member in the House of Lords, visiting Vegas let alone having a Vegas wedding.
“Mum never mentioned that.”
“But she told you, you weren’t illegitimate, didn’t she?”
“Yeah, she did.” Her version was that they registered their marriage secretly and that’s it.
“What is it?”
I shake my head, laughing awkwardly. “Sorry, I’m still wrapping my head around the Vegas part.”
“I wasn’t always so put together, you know. I was quite wild in my youth. How do you think I met your mother?”
“She always left that part vague. She mentioned something about a party?”
“I guess she can call it a party.” He shakes his head with a nostalgic smile. “That was probably her PG-13 version. My friends and I partied and gambled all night. In our drunken minds, we decided it was an epic idea to have skull tattoos. We went to this parlour down the road and Jasmine was there. She was… stunning. And I might have pushed my mates aside so she’d tattoo me. Only she made fun of my skull idea and how ‘unoriginal’ it was. So I gave her free reign to do anything as long as it can be hidden by clothes.” He pauses as if tasting his own words. “She looked out of her skin with joy. I’ve never seen someone look so happy before. Apparently, it was the first time someone gave her artistic freedom. She promised that I won’t be disappointed.”