I inch closer to him. “And what did she do?”
I didn’t realise Dad had a tattoo. Or maybe I did from when he lived with us and forgot about it.
He stands up and unbuttons his shirt. “I’ll show you instead.”
My jaw would’ve dropped to the floor if it weren’t attached to my mouth.
A black and red phoenix tattoo covers the middle half of Dad’s back in a 3D style sketch. Its tendrils resemble flames.
“Wow.”
I’ve seen so many of Mum’s work, but this is her most passionate one. I strive to sketch like her one day.
“That’s not all.” He rolls his sleeves to show me small tattoos in a vertical line along his forearm. A sun. A moon. A star. The sun on Dad’s arm is black.
“Like mine…” I show him my tattoo at the same place as his. Only in mine, the star is coloured black.
And in Mum’s tattoo, the moon is in black. I chuckle. “She got us matching tattoos.”
“I was against it since you were only fifteen, but I’m glad she did it anyway.” Dad smiles as he buttons his shirt and sits beside me again.
“How long did she take to do the phoenix?”
“About a week. We talked so much during that time. It was the first time, someone had genuine interest in me and not in my family name. So afterwards, I hid my real identity from her. We stayed together for months before I took her to Vegas.”
“How did Mum find out about who you are?”
“The horrible way. My parents got involved and it wasn’t pretty. People like me aren’t supposed to be with people like Jasmine. Even though I knew that, I couldn’t lose her. Especially when she was pregnant with you.”
I continue itching closer until there’s no space left between us. “What did you do?”
“I struck a deal with my father. The marriage will remain under radar and so will you and Jasmine. If I refused, they would’ve done it the harsh way and it would’ve hurt Jasmine.” He stops meeting my eyes with his identical ones. “Those seven years I spent with you two were the happiest times of my life, Star.”
A sob catches at the back of my throat. “Then why did you leave? Why did you end up marrying Victoria and tossing me and Mum aside?”
“Your mum did the tossing, actually. Now, I realise it must’ve been a ploy from either my father or Victoria or her parents. Or all of them. I had to leave. I’m the only heir to my family and I knew if I didn’t obey, my parents would’ve buried you and Jasmine until I could never find you.”
“Bad things for greater good.”
“No, Astrid. No.” He holds my shoulders. “There was no greater good about leaving you and your mother. There hasn’t been a day that I didn’t regret it. But every time I went back, Jasmine pushed me out. She allowed me to see you sometimes, but she cut me off from your lives saying you two didn’t fit into my world. Her constant rejections were my punishment.”
“You really planned to reunite with Mum?”
“Yes. After my father’s death, I was done with the masquerade. I finally convinced Jasmine to give me another chance and she agreed.” His face turns rigid. “But it never happened.”
“She was really happy that night, Dad.” I smile, fighting the pressure at the back of my throat. “I’m the one who threw a tantrum.”
“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know.” He pauses. “Astrid, this period will be hard for the family. I need you to be strong. Can you do that for me?”
I nod slowly, my voice catching. “What will happen?”
“Some people will pay.” His demeanour hardens.
We remain silent for long seconds until it almost becomes awkward.
“Can I tell you something, Dad?”
“Anything.”
I gather all my courage and blurt, “I don’t want to go to Imperial College. I want to study art like my mum.”
“All right.”
“All… right?” My mouth hangs open.
“Of course. I won’t make you study something you dislike. Besides, you have too much talent to waste.”
I don’t know which part should surprise me the most. The fact that Dad saw my sketches or that he’s letting me study art.
“Thank you,” I murmur, my voice catching in my throat. “All this time, I thought… I thought you hated me.”
“Oh, come here, Astrid.” He opens his arms and I dive into them, wrapping my hands around his waist. A sob tears from my throat and I can’t help the tears.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I made you feel that way.” He strokes my hair back. “I was scared I’d lose you, too, so I was stern. Now I realise that’s not what you needed.”
“I just… I just miss Mum so much and you’re the only one who reminds me of her.”
“I miss her, too.” He kisses the top of my head. “I’m sorry I couldn’t grieve properly with you. I wanted you to move on with your life, but that was wrong, too. You needed to grieve properly first. I promise to learn from my mistakes and be a better father for you.”
I look up at him through blurry eyes. “You won’t throw me away and adopt Nicole?”
He laughs. “That nonsense was never on the table. You’re the only daughter I have. Nicole will leave after her mother is sent away.”
“What do you mean by sent away?”
Dad opens his mouth to speak when the door barges open. Victoria walks inside with Grandpa’s antique shotgun pointed towards us.
“No one will send me away.”
51
Levi
Was it all just a fantasy?
* * *
I stare up at Lord Clifford’s mansion.
Logically, I should’ve given Astrid time to cope, but patience has never been one of my qualities.
If I have to climb through a window and search every room to find her, then so be it.
We’re going to talk then I’ll kiss the living hell out of her. Or it can be the other way around. The order doesn’t matter.
Astrid and I aren’t something decided by an accident three years ago. We’re more. We’re a lot fucking more.
Astrid didn’t only engrave herself in my soul, she’s also become an inseparable part of my core. And no fucking one can take that away from me.
Not even her.
“Captain?” Daniel calls from my side. “What are you doing here?”
“The same as you. To see Astrid.” I narrow my eyes. “But I came first, so wait for your turn.”
He releases a sigh. “She’s going through a lot. Maybe you should give her some time to cope. Ever heard of that term?”
“Whatever that coping is, Astrid and I are doing it together.” I push past him towards the entrance.
He grips my shoulder and pulls me back with a force I didn’t realise he had.
“Fucking stop. She’s not like you. Astrid isn’t the type who goes forward, not caring about those left behind.”
“Is that what you think I am?”
“That’s what the whole team thinks you are! They’re just too scared to say it to your face.”