“Fuck it,” he says.
He closes the distance between us. His hands wrap in my hair and he leans down, his mouth connecting with mine. I moan into his open mouth and he gives me everything. My tongue connects with his and he tastes fresh like spearmint.
My hands find his sides and I tug my body against his. My nipples harden, rubbing against the fabric of my tank, wishing he were giving them attention.
I want to stand, to jump into his arms and wrap my body around his. I want to push all the covers on my bed aside and have him join me on this tiny twin mattress. I want him to do all the dirty things to me I can think of and more. When I reach for his waistband, he jumps away like I burned him.
“I should go.” He runs a hand through his raven locks and backs away. “I’m sorry.” I’m embarrassed and the stab of rejection slices through me.
He all but runs out of my room without another glance. I hear his feet pounding down the stairs, and next thing I know, the front door opens and shuts and I’m left here alone.
The rollercoaster of tonight plays in my mind and I can’t stop the tears from spilling over. I crawl under my covers and though I want to forget everything, I don’t pray for sleep.
With sleep comes morning and then I’ll have to face Tatum after embarrassing myself to no end. Though tonight was one of the worst nights I’ve had in a while, I don’t want it to end.
Chapter Fourteen
Bria
When my alarm goes off, I notice a missed text. I assume it’s one of my friends or Ben trying to apologize, but I’m shocked to realize it’s from Tatum.
Tatum: No training this weekend. Get some rest. See you Monday.
Well, that’s…unexpected. I put my phone down and roll over, falling back asleep in an instant. The next time I wake up isn’t nearly as pleasant.
“What the hell are you doing?” Morgan’s bony ass is sitting on my side as she jumps to wake me up.
“Seeing if you’re alive. I was worried about you last night.” My stomach drops for a second as she climbs off me and sits on the bed beside me.
“Wh-why?” She doesn’t know anything…does she?
“You disappeared and sent me a vague text saying you were heading home. You’ve been radio silent ever since.”
I exhale. “Right, sorry. I broke up with Ben, again, because he’s an asshole and, yeah, I know, you told me so. Then I got a ride home and crashed.”
“Good, you deserve better than him anyway. But why are you here? Are you sick? Shouldn’t you be training?”
“Tatum canceled it.” Saying his name causes my stomach to do tiny flips of excitement. Was last night real? Did it really happen? Part of me wants to confide in my roommate, to get her opinion on it all and see what she thinks. But the larger part of me knows I shouldn’t tell anyone, not even my best friend.
Luckily, Morgan doesn’t notice the vacillation occurring in my head and squeals with excitement instead.
“Yay! Girls’ day. You, me, Lindsay, maybe Syd? We should do shopping and lunch. What do you say?”
I should agree and go. I haven’t had much girl time and this is our last year together. I should be with them constantly, making memories to last a lifetime.
But I want to check in with Tatum. I want to see why he canceled training, if it has anything to do with what happened last night. I want to get in his head, to know what he’s thinking and feeling and if any of it aligns with what’s going on in my head.
“Sure, but can you give me like, an hour or so? I have an errand I need to run first.”
“An errand? You sound like my mom. Why don’t you just do it while we’re out?” She tilts her head, studying me, and I need to come up with a quick lie.
“I need to run to the pharmacy, okay? And I’d rather go alone.” She nods. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way back and I’ll pick you guys up.”
I get out of bed and rush to the bathroom to brush my teeth and make myself look somewhat presentable. I throw on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, knotting it at the bottom to make it more fitted. I throw on my converse and head out the door.
My nerves are rattling as I get in my car when I realize my dumbass mistake: I don’t know where Tatum lives or where he would even be right now. How can I talk to him if I can’t find him?
On a whim, I drive to the soccer field, thinking there’s a possibility he’s there. With luck, I spot his car. It’s the sole vehicle in the parking lot, but I don’t see him on the field. Instead, I’d bet he’s in the field house in his office. I park my car and hop out, rushing into the building.
I walk down the concrete hallway, listening for any noise to indicate I’m not here alone, but none comes. I see his door is open as I approach and I stand on my tip-toes to get a better view. Using the slight edge, I’m able to see he’s sitting at his desk, pen poised in his right hand.
I stop my movements and lean back against the cool wall to calm myself. What if the kiss was all a dream or all in my head? Then I say something stupid and he has no idea what I’m talking about? But why else would he cancel practice?
I plaster on a confident, albeit fake smile and strut to the office. I knock on the door and lean into the doorjamb. We’re opposites of last night, when he was the one leaning on the door.
“What are you doing here, Bria?” His tone catches me off guard.
“I came to talk to you.”
“About what?”
Is he that dense? I can’t come right out and say it.
I walk into the office and close the door. He watches it happen and though his jaw clenches, he doesn’t stop me.
“I, uh, was wondering why you canceled training.” I swallow thickly and take a seat across from him on the opposite side of his desk.
He places the pen down and folds his hands in front of him. I take in his appearance. There are bags under his eyes and his hair is a wild mess. His long-sleeved t-shirt clings to his body and my eyes trail down though they’re unable to see anything else thanks to the desk between us.
“Because I thought you could use a break, and frankly, so could I.”
I’m not going to get anywhere with him like this, not unless I address the elephant in the room directly. Butterflies invade my stomach as I gather the courage to mention the unmentionable.
“I thought it might have something to do with what happened last night.”
His eyes flit to mine in an instant and he sighs. “In part, it does. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“Like a relationship? Trust me, I know you’re not that type of guy.”
“Not a relationship, Bria. Not anything. What happened was a massive lapse of judgment and a huge mistake. It can never happen again and you can’t tell anyone about it.”
He’s chillingly cool, his words icy and harsh, slicing through me like daggers. I wasn’t expecting flowers and chocolate, but I was hoping for better than this. No one wants to be called a mistake.
I stand and run a nonchalant hand through my golden hair. I plaster on a fake smile and pray he doesn’t see right through me.
“Understood. Sorry for bothering you.” I back away and he calls my name. Damn my watery voice.