In my fantasy, Holden would be in my room for some innocent reason—some kind of science lab homework that had to get done urgently, and together—and then something would happen. An earthquake or a snowstorm or something, and my parents wouldn’t be home—though of course they’d be all right—and we’d be trapped here overnight. Together. And as night set in, Holden would look at me in a whole new way for the first time, and he’d realize that he had secret lust feelings for his lab partner, and he’d feel the irresistible pull, and then he’d lean in and—
He was sitting right here. Right now, all these years later. And apparently he was my boyfriend.
I ignored the jolt of fear that word gave me yet again. I ignored every other thought that tried to trip me up. I reached up, pulled him down to me, and kissed him.
He was surprised for only a second, and then he kissed me back. He pushed me back until he was on top of me on the bed, kissing me deeply as his fingers moved to the buttons of my pajama top.
I broke the kiss. The bed was creaking, there was no room for both of us, and I was pretty sure Holden’s feet were hanging off the bottom. “We can’t have sex in this bed,” I whispered.
“I disagree,” Holden whispered back. “Jesus, how many buttons does this thing have?”
“A lot.” I’d worn it as armor, thinking that if I wore the unsexiest thing anyone had ever seen, we wouldn’t fool around. Damn it.
Holden had pushed my robe aside, and he finally got my buttons undone. He slid his hands into my top and cupped my bare breasts, his thumbs brushing the nipples. “Second base,” he whispered in triumph. “I got to second base.”
I laughed into his shoulder, because Holden had gotten way past second base with me, plenty of times. I nearly mixed the laugh with a moan as sensation shot from my breasts through the rest of my body, pooling between my legs. “My parents will hear,” I squeaked, though I made no move to push him away.
“The TV is still on downstairs. I can hear it.” Holden kissed me again, sweeping my mouth with his tongue, as his hands moved down and unbuttoned the waist of my pajama bottoms. He broke away and whispered, “I’m rounding third. Here I go.”
I wanted to laugh again, but it died in my throat as his hand moved under my pants, under my panties, and his fingers started to stroke me. I buried my face in his shoulder, inhaling the laundry smell of his tee and the perfect smell of his skin, and moaned as quietly as I could.
He dropped kisses on my neck as he rubbed me, as my fingers dug into his rock-hard biceps, as my toes curled in the nice clean sheets. I bucked up into his hand, swallowing my sounds, and he knew exactly what to do. He slid two fingers inside me and let his thumb do that magic thing it did, just like that, a little to the left and—
I shuddered as the waves of an orgasm rippled through me, making my whole body clench. Oh, God, it felt good. Everything he did to me felt good. Even in this stupid tiny bed, through my layers of pajamas, in my house with my ridiculously nice parents, he made me so happy. I clutched him harder and let out a breath that was almost a sob.
The Girl Most Likely to Eat Too Many Cupcakes could win, after all.
Holden slid his hand out and kissed me again, softly and more gentlemanly this time. I tried to gather my wits. “What about you?” I whispered.
He brushed his lips over the corner of my mouth, his beard tickling me. “I’ll follow the time-honored tradition of every teenage boy everywhere and take care of myself in the bathroom.”
“No way,” I said boldly. I reached down and it was my turn to untie his pajama bottoms, then reach in and grasp him. “I don’t think you need to do that.”
He grunted when I touched him, a perfect male sound. The tip of his cock was already wet, and I ran my thumb over it, making him grunt again. “Mina,” he said.
“Roll over,” I whispered.
We maneuvered on the bed, trying not to make any noise that my parents would hear below. I got on top of him, pushed his pants down, and slid his cock into my mouth, making sure to run my tongue over the tip. Holden’s body clenched and he bit back a sound.
I dipped my head, taking him deeper, and I felt his breath catch. We hadn’t done this too many times yet—it wasn’t something I was really practiced in, and I wasn’t sure I was good at it, though Holden never complained. But tonight I suddenly had confidence, and I moved slickly up and down him, licking him with my tongue. Enjoying it, because he tasted good, and because he was so helpless when I did this, and because it was so taboo in this room. I forgot about being self-conscious and I just let myself love it, love pleasing him, love everything about him.
It didn’t take long before Holden gave me a grunt of warning, and then he came in my mouth, trying to be quiet just like I had. I swallowed it and tried to tug his pants up again, but he pulled me up against him and put his arms around me, kissing my neck, behind my ear, my jaw, my mouth. Kissing me like he couldn’t help doing it.
“That was incredible,” he said, his voice rough with awe. “I’m fucking speechless.”
I closed my eyes as my throat swelled. I was spinning, falling. I was flying through the air and there was no net beneath me. Nothing but a long, hard fall.
I grabbed Holden and held on, and he stroked my hair.
Then we heard the TV downstairs turn off.
“Oh, no,” I hissed in panic, jumping off the bed and buttoning my pajama top.
Holden groaned and swung his long legs over the edge of the bed, pulling up his pants and tying the drawstring. “Back to the lumpy spare bed I go,” he said.
“Hurry up!” I ran to the door and opened it as I heard my parents talking softly, headed for the stairs. “Go, go!”
Holden came to the door, but he bent and swiftly kissed my mouth before he vanished down the hall.
“Mina?” came my mother’s voice as she came upstairs a few seconds later. “Are you awake?”
“Just going to sleep, Mom,” I said. “Good night.”
I turned out the light and lay on the bed, wearing the pajamas and the robe, and listened to my parents pass my door. When their bedroom door closed, my muscles finally started to relax. I stared at the ceiling.
I could still taste Holden. And I could still feel the last kiss he’d pressed on my mouth.
I closed my eyes. It finally happened, I thought, and I didn’t even need an earthquake.
It was my last thought before I dropped into oblivion.
Twenty-Three
Mina
At work on Monday, I started to feel like I was getting the hang of things at Morgan Financial. I used the company software system to do inventory updates; I got several quotes from new suppliers; I prepared an order that wasn’t due until tomorrow morning. I swapped jokes with Shipping and Receiving. I even ate a salad for lunch that had actual kale in it, and even though it tasted like I was eating the stuffing from an old pillow, I felt virtuous about it.
Helen was at some kind of in-house training session. What she had to learn about office supplies that was so important, I had no idea; the only thing I cared about was that the training took up all morning, so I didn’t have her creeping behind my cubicle.
After lunch, however, she wafted in, wearing her usual expression that said she’d smelled something faintly bad. “I hope everything has been under control while I was gone.”