Tess frowned, digesting that. “Well, this book says all men have it. I thought boys my age were bad, but apparently when they get older they actually get worse.”
I felt a trickle of alarm move up my spine. “Well, not all of them.”
“I don’t know.” Tess flipped a page. “There’s a guy at my school that I like, and I was going to maybe ask him out when school is back in. But maybe I’ll just skip it.”
I straightened in my chair. “Don’t do that. Dating can be fun.”
“You told me to mace anyone who touches me.”
“Dating and naked liking are two different things. Sometimes.”
She blew out a breath. “See? This is all too complicated. I’m just going to try out for the girls’ soccer team and skip it.”
“You hate soccer,” I said.
“So? It’s still better than this dating thing.” She flipped the book closed. “I mean, look at you. You’re hot and talented and fun, and one guy takes a selfie and you’re a mess.”
I stared at her in horror. Oh my God, what was I teaching her? I’d thought I was teaching her girl power in the past few days, but instead I’d been teaching her how to let a man completely derail you.
Oh, and that all men were toxic jerks. Some role model I was.
“I’m going to talk to Holden,” I said.
“Why bother?” Tess said. “Even if you work it out, in a few months you’ll be a mess again. I’ve seen it over and over with my parents.”
Right. She had left home because her mother had had an affair and her father had taken her back. She was staying with her sister and brother-in-law, who didn’t really want her there. Every adult in Tess’s life was a jerk, including me.
And now she was going to be damaged for life, unable to form a great relationship with a man. The kind of relationship I’d had with Holden. All because of me.
“I’m going to talk to him,” I said. Someone at the next table shushed us, so I stood up and pulled my phone from my pocket. “I’ll meet you outside,” I whispered.
As I left the library, my heart started pumping hard in my chest. I missed Holden, bad. I missed talking to him and touching him and watching his blue eyes crinkle when I made him laugh. I missed his body in that stupid uniform. I missed the great sex. I missed how he made me feel, like I was the real Mina, not the one I’d been taught to believe I should be all of my life.
I missed him, and now I was going to talk to him. Would he even talk to me?
I sat on the front steps of the library, holding my phone and gathering my courage as people walked by me. Before I could do it, though, my phone rang in my hand.
I didn’t recognize the number. Maybe Holden was calling from headquarters or something. I answered it. “Hello?”
“Hi, Mina.” It was a woman’s voice. “My name is Rachel.”
“Who?”
“Rachel. I’m dating Eric, Holden’s roommate.”
“Okay,” I said slowly.
“I’m also Helen’s cousin.”
I blinked. “Okay, I’m lost.”
“I know. Just listen while I explain, okay?”
So I did. She told me that Eric had asked her out, but after a bad experience with a creep she had a rule about not going on first dates with strange guys alone. She’d agreed on the condition that she could bring another woman with her as a buffer. Her best friend had bailed on her, so she’d had to call her cousin, Crazy Helen.
I sat up straight. “Crazy Helen?”
“I know,” Rachel said. “She’s not really crazy. She’s just kind of weird. I’m not sure if you noticed.”
“I noticed.”
“Well, I figured no guy would get too creepy with Crazy Helen around. Eric said he’d bring someone for her to talk to. He brought Holden, but he didn’t tell him what was really going on. He told him it was going to be a few beers with the guys.”
I frowned as she kept talking. It was a likely story, right? My boyfriend went on a date with another woman by accident? But this wasn’t Holden, or even Eric. This was the other woman who was there.
“Helen really liked him,” Rachel said. “She has this crush on him. But I swear, he’s never done anything to encourage it. He wouldn’t give her his number, but she got it somehow anyway. Holden only stayed for two drinks to be polite, and then he went home. He was never even alone with her. I promise. I can’t believe she has that picture on her desktop. She’s even more pathetic than I thought she was.”
I was slumped now, my head in one hand. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I believe you.” I sighed. “I never really believed he cheated on me. I was just terrified of this whole thing.”
“Oh, girl,” Rachel said. “For what it’s worth, he seemed like a really nice guy. Go work it out with him, and don’t let Crazy Helen wreck it. We stopped inviting her to Christmas a long time ago.”
I called Holden, but he didn’t answer. Maybe he was on shift, in which case I was literally interrupting his saving someone’s life so I could apologize for being an idiot.
So I texted him. I’m really sorry. Can we talk?
A minute went by, and then a reply came up. I’d never cheat on you, Mina. Not ever.
I know, I wrote back. I can explain. Please talk to me.
The dots moved. Just coming off shift. I can be at your place in an hour.
I stood up. An hour was just enough time to get home, tidy up, and take this terrifying shirt off. Put on some makeup and weed-whack my legs. I was going to do seduction right this time.
But I couldn’t leave without Tess. I turned to go back into the library to get her, but she was already coming out, a smug smile on her face.
“Well?” she said. “Did you talk to him? You totally did.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you? That whole thing about toxic masculinity. You were just trying to get me to call him.”
“Duh,” Tess said. “You’re totally in love with him, Mina, and he’s crazy about you. You’re so easy to manipulate sometimes. Just go home and make up with him already. Want to go to the movies tomorrow?”
Twenty-Six
Mina
Ten years after prom night, I knew Holden Whittaker was going to show up.
I was ready this time. I had showered and put on makeup. I had found a cute belted dress in the back of my closet and put it on, complete with matching shoes. I had tidied my apartment and dimmed the lighting. I was ready, just like I’d been ready that night all those years ago.
And Holden was here.
He knocked on my door and I let him in. He had just come from work, saving lives, and he was still wearing his sexy navy blue uniform. My hero, every day and always.
I pulled him into the apartment, rose up on my toes, and kissed him. A sweet kiss that I hoped promised more dirty things to come. “I’m sorry,” I said before he could speak. “It was your idea to have Rachel call me, wasn’t it? Because you thought I wouldn’t believe the story coming from you. But I would have believed it. I didn’t really believe you were cheating on me. Not deep down.”