“I’m a member of the Order. I’m trained and—”
“You are a member, but this is not your job,” Ivy stated.
“If hunting and killing evil fae isn’t my job, then what is?”
Silence greeted me, and damn if that wasn’t telling. I focused on Ivy. “I have been in the field. I have been for the last year and a half, and, hello, not once have I gotten myself killed.”
“A year and a half?” Ivy screeched. “How? Wait. Was that what he was talking about with the costumes and shit?”
“Yes. I disguise myself. Sometimes it’s…elaborate. Other times, not.” I folded my arms so I didn’t pick up something and throw it. “I make sure no one recognizes me, not even other Order members.”
Ivy stared at me.
“He recognized you.” Ren gestured at the door.
I turned, realizing the jerk King had bailed, along with Tanner and Kalen. How like him. “Yeah, well, he’s special,” I muttered.
“You’re out there, by yourself, without anyone knowing what you’re doing?” Ivy asked.
“Obviously, the King of all douchebags knows.” Thank God the sleeves of my blouse hid the cuffs because I figured if they saw them on me, they’d both stop breathing.
“He doesn’t count,” Ivy shot back. And, wow, that would’ve been funny if I weren’t so angry. “Wait. Does Tink know?” Her eyes widened. “He has to know, and he’s said nothing to me.” She went for her phone.
“Don’t drag him into this!”
“Oh, he’s been dragged—”
“He didn’t tell you because it’s not your business!” I threw up my arms. “And I didn’t say anything to you because I knew you’d react this way. All of you forget that I’m an Order member. I’ve had the same training you have, and the only reason I’m not in the field is because I had to be home to take care of my mother.” Dragging in a deep breath, there was no stopping me now. I was on a roll. “I know you all think I’m not strong or skilled enough, but guess what, I’ve fought fae. I didn’t need backup or anyone to help me. I didn’t need the Order or any of you to tell me that I’m good enough to be out there. I did it all on my own.”
Ivy drew back. “It’s not that we think you’re not good enough.”
“It’s not?”
“Wait a second,” Ren cut in. “You’ve been hunting for the last year and a half?” He came forward, stopping by the arm of the couch. “Basically, after you had enough time to get back on your feet following the attack.”
Pressing my lips together, I said nothing.
“You’re hunting the fae who attacked you,” he said. “Aren’t you?”
“Oh, Bri,” whispered Ivy, looking away.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I demanded. When Ivy just shook her head, I was a second away from picking up a chair and throwing it. “You know what? Yes, I have been hunting them. I know who they are, and I’ve killed four of them.”
Ivy’s gaze shot to mine.
“Yeah, I did, and I will keep doing it until I kill the fifth,” I told them. “And then, after that, I may keep hunting. The Order needs the additional bodies, and I’m good.” Swallowing hard, I lifted my chin. “Despite the fact that I wasn’t out in the field.”
Ivy opened her mouth, then closed it. “I think…it’s incredible that you are such a good fighter, and I don’t mean that in a patronizing way.”
It sounded awfully patronizing to me.
“But I remember what it was like to see you in a hospital bed, hooked up to tubes and fighting for your life. I remember what it was like to go to your mom’s funeral—to all of those funerals,” she said, and I flinched. “We almost lost you.”
I softened. A little. “And you almost died too, Ivy. I didn’t think you were incapable of fighting afterward. I didn’t expect you to quit.”
Her chin dipped, and I waited for her to say it was different. But common sense seemed to prevail, and if she thought it, she at least didn’t say it.
Ivy’s shoulders rose and fell, and then she quieted. “You’re my friend, Bri. You’re my only friend, actually. I’m just… I’m worried about you.”
“Wow,” Faye murmured, alerting us to the fact that she was, very much, still in the room. “I thought I was your friend.”
“You are.” Ivy turned to her. Faye lounged on the couch, looking as if she were missing a bowl of popcorn. “I meant that Bri is my only human friend.”
“Do you normally separate your friendships by species?” Faye asked.
“I didn’t mean—”
“I’m kidding.” Faye laughed. “You’re my only human friend, too.”
I frowned. Did she not consider me a friend? Damn.
“What about me?” Ren demanded. “I don’t count?”
“You always count, Ren. Always.” Faye’s gaze shifted to me, her stare assessing. “They are just worried about you. You did almost die, but so has Ivy. So has Ren. And you want revenge for what was done to you and yours. That’s understandable.”
“You’re not helping,” Ivy snapped.
“And neither are you,” Faye replied calmly. “She knows how to fight, obviously. She’s killed.”
“Thank you,” I said, feeling some of the tension ease out of my shoulders. Someone finally recognized that I wasn’t book-nerd Willow anymore, friend to Buffy. I was kickass Willow—though not evil, dark Willow.
“But you being out there is a risk.” Faye’s cool eyes flicked to me. “It’s personal to you. Not in the same way it is to other Order members. That makes it dangerous.”
I swallowed a truckload of curses, and then round two of why Brighton should just stay safe at home with her nose stuck in a book began. At some point, I plopped back down into the chair, and just…stopped arguing against all the various reasons I shouldn’t be hunting in general and let it all sink in. I allowed it to really sink in that even with them knowing that I was capable of killing and defending myself, they didn’t believe I was capable enough.
And that didn’t just make me mad.
It also hurt.
* * * *
I didn’t go to the offices of the Order, nor did I go home. After I’d managed to extricate myself from Ivy and Ren—and Faye—I caught an Uber and headed to an apartment in the Warehouse District. I’d run into Kalen while looking for the person who’d not only thrown me under the bus but then backed up over me. Kalen had said he was here, and if he weren’t, I would find him.
The King and I needed to have a little chat.
I stalked down the hall of the tenth floor, growing more furious than I even knew was possible. Stopping at his door, I banged my fist on it like I was the police.
Only a few seconds passed before I heard the click of the lock and the handle turning. The moment the door opened, I didn’t even give him a chance to shut me out. I barged right in, shouldering past the King as I clutched the strap of my purse.
“Well, come on in,” he stated dryly. “And help yourself.”