She sniffled. “I warned you I wasn’t a happy person, and there were so many reasons I didn’t want to let you in, but…” She trailed, trying to find her words. “The only time I ever loved my life was when I was with you.”
My hand still lingered on her brow, unmoving.
Now? She was telling me this now?
“I was always your Em,” she whispered. “No matter what I said or what I did or all the ways I let life win over the years… That night, I knew. I was in love with you.”
The backs of my eyes stung, and I clenched my teeth.
“You can leave, and I’ll survive. I always do,” she told me. “I just wanted you to know that.”
And just like that again, I couldn’t remember why she was bad for me, and I just wanted her where she was supposed to be.
With me.
All the hate and anger and loss melted away, and I wanted to crawl in behind her and hold her the rest of the night, but I knew my eyes would be open in the morning and the light would hurt.
Everything would hurt.
I clenched my fist, just wanting to stay, but I couldn’t do this anymore.
I was clean of all vices, except one, and I needed to shake her. I needed to shake her, so I could go home.
I left, too much pride to disappear into the wall again. I opened the door and walked out, closing it behind me and leaving her in the dark.
I wanted to know what he said to her—what he whispered in her ear by the front door—when I went in there, but I couldn’t stay another second, or I almost wouldn’t care about anything but her for the rest of the night.
She loved me.
She loved me.
The world swayed in front of me.
But it was just another example of how everyone did what they wanted to me because they thought I couldn’t stay mad.
I mean, Damon almost killed me. Brutally and so badly, I could barely step foot in any body of water that wasn’t a bathtub, and it didn’t take much for me to forgive him.
I wasn’t giving anyone else easy chances.
“Will,” Aydin called as I passed his room.
I stopped, tensing.
I didn’t want to talk to him right now, because whatever shit came out of his mouth would just mess with my head more. God, I wanted a cigarette. Hopefully Winter hadn’t broken Damon of that completely yet, or I’d have to start buying my own packs when I got home.
Micah swiped the straight razor up Aydin’s throat as he sat back in his chair, leaning his head back.
Walking in, I held out my hand, taking the razor. Micah hesitated only a moment and then handed it to me, walking out.
Standing behind Aydin, I picked up where Micah had left off, shaving the next stroke. I gave him the better shave, so he preferred me to do it.
“Do you think you’d be in charge?” Aydin asked. “If I weren’t here?”
I tightened my fist around the handle, sliding up his neck again. One quick stroke right now, and I would be in charge.
He knew that.
He also thought he was brave, letting me shave him when he knew how easy it would be for me to end him right now in order to protect Emmy and Alex.
“I’m jealous your friends sent someone for you.” He chuckled, looking up at me. “I think my people forgot about me.”
“Find people who don’t.”
I glided the blade up over his jaw, feeling the heat of his gaze.
“I did,” he said.
Us? We’re not his people. Not yet, anyway.
“Demanding obedience through intimidation doesn’t encourage loyalty,” I told him. “Only earning it can.”
He fell silent, watching me as I shaved against the grain of his cheek and chin. He knew what the hell I meant. Micah, Rory, and Taylor didn’t respect him. They were afraid of him.
“I know,” he finally replied. “You couldn’t get her to stay in the house. I did, and I didn’t have to raise a hand to do it.” He gazed up at me. “I didn’t even have to raise my voice. That’s loyalty.”
My gaze twitched.
“You have her heart, but I’m in her head now,” he taunted. “With a woman like Emory Scott, which do you think she’ll listen to?
I didn’t even have to think about that answer twice. My hand shook as I cleaned his upper lip.
“When you make your escape, do you think Emmy will run with you and your whore?” he asked.
I shot up straight, the blade clasped in my hand as I glared down at him.
She’s not staying here with you.
“I think when I make my escape,” I told him, “I’m taking a lot more than those girls.”
He laughed, pulling off the towel around his neck and wiping his face clean. “She is stunning,” he said. “I liked it when she grabbed your throat today. Many men don’t even know how much they’d like being dominated. But it’s such a turn on. She fucked you good. I really think she’s come alive here.”
I locked my jaw, using every ounce of restraint to keep my temper in check.
He’d seen us in the greenhouse. He’d watched her ride me.
I dropped the blade and walked out of the room, every muscle in my body on fire.
He didn’t get to have her.
I charged back to her room, threw open the door, and walked over to her bed as she shot up and looked at me in the light streaming in from the hallway.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
But I didn’t say a damn word.
I grabbed her glasses off the nightstand, slid my arms under her, sheets and all, and swept her up into my arms, taking her to my room with Alex and me.
There was no fucking way I was taking my eyes off her tonight.
She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, her eyes on me the entire way up to the third floor and to my bed.
God, who the hell brought her here? She was ruining all my plans.
Will
Nine Years Ago
A locker slammed shut, echoing down the corridor, and I lifted the bottle to my mouth, downing another swallow of bourbon.
Motherfuckers. What the hell were they doing? How long had it been going on?
I knew something was up.
I leaned against a stack of mats in the wrestling room, hearing the locker door open down the hall as “Apologize” played low on the speaker next to me.
I swallowed another mouthful, remembering tucking her in last night in her room.
Like an imbecile.
After our fight at school today, I went out tonight, celebrating Devil’s Night with my friends and a full mind to move the hell on. Get shitfaced and see if there was anyone I thought would make me feel better, because she treated me like shit, and I was sick of chasing after the girl I knew was meant for me but who didn’t want me.
She gave me almost no reciprocation.
Except last night.
But today, she was back in full form, acting like I was a pity fuck. Like I wasn’t good enough.
My friends and I went to the cemetery and partied.
We went to the Pope in Meridian City.
And partied some more.
I just couldn’t forget her, no matter how much I drank. I caught a cab back to Thunder Bay, but instead of going home, I carried my ass to school and to our bus parked in the lot. I snuck on and plopped down in the backseat, remembering how’d she felt last night. How good her desire and love felt.