He took the hit but reached for me. Looking over his shoulder again. For Elsie.
I jerked away.
“Stella,” he ground out, “come here. Come here.”
When he grabbed my arm, it was with such force, I couldn’t break free. He turned us toward a back door that, when opened, revealed a patio lit with twinkle lights and set with outdoor couches and chairs.
“Let me go!” I barked.
It was more of a toss than a release, and I stumbled before whirling around on him.
“I’m sorry, okay?” he snapped. “This is why I couldn’t tell you. I knew you’d freak out.”
Tingling rage crawled across my skin. “You coward. You stupid, lying coward. You’ve been seeing her. Not fucking her. Dating her, haven’t you?”
He fumed. “What was I supposed to do, Stella?”
“Tell me the truth!” I yelled, trembling from my toes to the tip of my nose. “Where have you been, Dex? Tell me where you’ve been the last two days,” I ordered, knowing this was it. This was the reason. And it wasn’t just that he was dating her.
“Moving into Elsie’s place.”
I was caught, frozen in stone. Beneath my skin, I was a roaring beast, straining against restraint. But I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do anything but look at the man I’d sacrificed my needs for. The man I’d set myself on fire for just so I could keep him warm.
The man who didn’t believe in monogamy or love had committed.
And he hadn’t committed to me.
“How?” I breathed. “How could you?”
His face softened, the sorrow beneath the stone a betrayal to everything I’d put up with. Everything I’d accepted from him like a fool.
He’d starved me for love. And when he tossed me crumbs, I was so hungry for his affection, I believed it a feast.
Stupid, stupid girl.
“I love her, Stella. And to keep her, I can’t see anyone else.”
“You liar,” I whispered. “You fucking liar. All of your bullshit about monogamy and relationships was just a line you sold so you could fuck who you wanted without consequence. If you were being honest, how could anybody get mad? Is that what you thought, you selfish son of a bitch?”
He shook his head, glanced at the ground, and ignored me. “She doesn’t know much about us, and I’d like to keep it that way.”
I laughed, a humorless sound. “I bet you would.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t know … I didn’t know I could feel this way, and I didn’t set out to trick you. Deep down, you know that.”
It was my turn to shake my head, but I set my gaze over the balcony to the city. Because if I looked at him a second longer, I was going to break.
And he was not going to see me break.
“Fuck you, Dex. I hope she figures out what a fucking dog you are before it’s too late.”
A pause, long and pregnant. “We’ll go. We’ll leave the party so you don’t have to …” He drew a breath. “I’m sorry, Stell.”
I turned, wanting him to see the look of determination on my face. “Me too. Sorry I gave up what I wanted for you. Won’t make that mistake again.”
His chest rose. Fell. Stilled.
And then he turned to go.
Only then did I let go of the chain I’d bridled myself with. I turned on my heel, rushing to the balcony, gripping the metal rail with damp hands. A gust of wind whipped down the avenue, the draft blasting me in the face, lifting my hair. But it wasn’t strong enough to stop the gravity of my tears.
It’s for the best, I told my crumbling heart. It’s for the best.
I wondered if I repeated it enough times, would I believe it?
The door behind me opened with a creak, and several sets of footfalls rushed toward me.
“Stella?” Joss said, reaching me first. Then Z. Then Betty.
And I couldn’t answer. Because the moment I didn’t have to hold myself together, they were there.
Z held me against her chest, stroking my hair, cooing, “I’m gonna fucking kill him.”
Laughter broke through my tears.
“He’s gone,” Betty promised. “I flashed my switchblade, and he grabbed Elsie and ran like a coward.”
Again I laughed, partly because she was dressed as Pooh, and the thought of Pooh Bear chasing Dex up Fifth Avenue with a switchblade was more than I could handle.
Joss was Piglet. “I would have shanked him too, if Betty’d let me.”
And then we were all laughing. I straightened up, frowning when I saw the mess I’d made on Z’s chest. She was dressed up as Marilyn Monroe—Roman was Joe DiMaggio.
“Oh, Z. I fucked up your contouring,” I said, running a finger across her chest.
But she shrugged. “Worse things have happened. Like what he did to you.”
“What do you know?”
“Only that he was here with Elsie, and she was in your costume,” Joss said.
“I’ll shank her too,” Betty promised.
“No, don’t—she doesn’t know. He’s fooled her just like he fooled all of us.”
“Not me,” Z sassed.
“He moved in with her.”
Noise erupted from the three of them, and for a minute, I let them get it all out.
“I know,” I cut in. “You were all right, and I was wrong. I shouldn’t even be allowed to date. I’m the worst judge of character in the entire world.”
“Now, hang on just one second,” Z said, frowning. “I will concede that we were right because I very much enjoy being right, even though I wish I weren’t. But the only mistake you made was falling for the wrong guy.”
I looked at my shoes so I wouldn’t start crying again. But Z caught my chin and lifted it until our eyes met.
“You, Stella Spencer, were made for love. And someday, you will find a man who is honest.”
“Who respects you,” Betty added.
“Who will talk to you and listen.” Joss took my hand.
“And when that day comes, you’re going to know,” Z continued. “It’s going to hit you like a hurricane. Dex wasn’t a hurricane. Dex was barely rain.”
We chuckled softly.
“Dex wasn’t for you, and he never was. And now you know that for yourself, without a single doubt. But your guy is out there. He’s somewhere in this city, and I bet he’s thinking about you. So you take a minute. Feel your feels. Lick your wounds and mend your heart. Because now you’ve learned who gets put first—you. And the moment that sinks in is the moment you’ll get what you want.”
I swallowed back tears. “Promise?”
“I swear.”
In a breath, I was wrapped up by the people I loved most in the world. For a moment, I believed every word Z said with the power of a psychic looking into a crystal ball. I held onto that feeling, knowing I’d need it when the sky was gray.
“And now,” Z said, letting me go with a wicked smile on her face, “we are going to get very, very drunk and toast to you losing a solid hundred and sixty pounds of dead weight.”
With a long laugh and the hooking of our arms, we did just that.