Cat had been ordered to bed rest, and Josh hadn’t left her side for two weeks. She’d stopped by twice with freezer meals from Sonya and Emma (since she didn’t cook, she’d offered to deliver) and both times she’d found him with his computer and job packets spread out over their bed while Cat slept beside him. He had a whole office on the second floor of their house, but after hearing Dylan’s story, she was less inclined to roll her eyes at him.
Today he had a meeting he couldn’t get out of, though. Dani had taken the day off to hang with her, but even so, she could tell Josh was nervous to leave the house. She hip-checked him out of the way and plopped down on the bed beside Cat with a pint of ice cream and two spoons. “I got this,” she told him sincerely. “Now please leave so we can talk about you.”
“Okay,” he said, his hands up in surrender. “Call me if you need anything.” He leaned over her to kiss Cat one more time, then patted Dani on the head. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome, see ya, bye.”
“Bye, baby,” Cat said. The two of them shared some obnoxious silent eye conversation, and then he left.
“Finally,” Dani said.
“Shut up. Give me a spoon.” She handed one over and Cat took a huge bite of mint chocolate chip. “So what’s new? I’m bored out of my mind here. Got any gossip?”
“Ha. I wish. Unless you count Emma’s new pots and pans set and Sonya’s real estate woes. Everyone is so boring now.”
“What about Ryan?”
Dani shrugged, hesitant to admit that, despite their near-perfect date, she hadn’t had any desire to see Ryan again. Every memory she had of him was tied up with one of Dylan. It was completely unfair that Dylan had to go and ruin that too, but there it was.
“Nothing new there,” she said safely. “I’m starting over with eight new dates. The first one is tonight.”
Cat shoved another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth, giving Dani one of her meaningfully silent replies.
Dani rolled her eyes. “Use your words, Cat.”
“What about Dylan?”
Well, that couldn’t have been more blunt. “What about him?”
“I’m just wondering why you’re willing to give the dating app another chance but not him?”
Dani pulled the ice cream container back and scooped her own bite. “Mostly because the app never lied to my face about wanting a relationship.”
Cat sighed. “Dani.”
“What? I thought you were on my side.”
“I am! But maybe taking sides at all was premature.”
Dani jammed the spoon into the ice cream and picked at a loose string on her jeans. The only explanation for Cat’s change of heart toward Dylan was the last one she wanted to hear. “Because he’s Josh’s best friend, right?”
“No,” Cat said firmly. “Because you’re my best friend. And because I know a thing or two about misunderstandings and making bad choices with good intentions.”
That was true. It was easy to forget with the way they were now, but Cat had messed up big time once with Josh. Maybe even more than Dylan had. But Dani wasn’t Josh. She didn’t forgive and forget so easily.
“Look, Dani,” Cat said. “When I first met Josh, I was scared and I was stupid. It took breaking my own heart to finally understand what was at stake. I guess I just see the same fear in Dylan. Sometimes we tell ourselves we don’t want certain things because we’re afraid we can’t have them.”
Dani’s throat was tight again. Cat was lucky she was stuck in this room because this was the kind of conversation that usually had Dani frantically looking for an escape hatch. She’d done all of the deep emotional analysis she was going to do over Dylan. She’d gotten a little attention and mistaken it for something it wasn’t. End of story. It was the Catch 22 Benji had warned her about. Her repeated downfall. “It’s not the same,” she said.
“How is it not?”
“Because you fought for Josh. Dylan has sent me a total of two drunken voicemails and some texts. That’s not exactly a committed approach to wanting a second chance.”
Cat shrugged, going back for more ice cream. “He has no idea what he’s doing, Dani. He has a lot of growing up to do, but that’s part of why he’s so fun. Dylan is the kind of guy who will stay out all night partying with you while I’m changing diapers and Emma is redesigning her kitchen again.”
“But that’s just it, Cat. I want more than that. Maybe not right now, but someday I’d like to have diapers and kitchens of my own.”
“And you don’t think Dylan does?”
Maybe I do want that. He’d said he did, but how could she trust anything he said now?
As crazy as it would have sounded to her six months ago, she and Dylan could have been great together. They may have arrived there via different routes, but what they wanted out of life was nearly identical. Not to mention their chemistry. He’d hit every one of her buttons on practically the first try, and then, slowly, when she’d felt like everyone who knew her best had moved to another planet, he’d shown her how great their friendship could be. That had turned to an intimacy she rarely experienced with men, filled with vulnerable moments that felt like revelations. But he had to go and ruin everything by being… him.
“I don’t know, Cat,” Dani said, forcing her voice to stay steady. “I don’t know if he’s capable of it, whether he wants it or not.”
Dylan let himself into Josh’s house, scraping the snow off of his boots before going to the kitchen and pulling out a casserole that Emma had made. He checked his phone for the instructions Josh had sent him, then heated the oven. After he’d set a timer, he walked down the hall on his toes, hoping not to wake Cat.
Josh was tied up in a meeting that ran late, and he’d asked Dylan to check on her on his way home to make sure she didn’t have to get up to make dinner; and to make sure she ate it or to make her something else; and to check the temperature of the house and light a fire if it was too cold. It was a whole list. Cat was allowed to get out of bed for short periods of time, but he wasn’t about to remind Josh of that. Besides, he was pretty desperate to get back in everyone’s good graces.
“Kit Cat?” He tapped on her bedroom door.
“Hey, Dylan.” Cat sat up and rubbed her eyes like she’d been fast asleep, despite it being five-thirty in the evening. Sympathy rippled through him. It must be lonely and mind-numbing to be stuck in this room all day. “Did Josh send you to check on me?”
“I offered. He’s going to be late tonight.”