I sigh. Look at this mess. Now, I’m gonna have to clean it up.
But I can’t help but think that one day I’m going to make her clean it all up with just her tongue.
And that day may come sooner than I thought.
See, this is why I don’t return for seconds … because I can’t let them go.
It’s not good for her or for me.
Especially considering she’s my student.
Fuck me.
My phone suddenly rings, and I check the number.
Fuck, just who I needed.
I don’t pick up. Instead, I get up and grab a few tissues to clean myself and the mess I’ve made all over my desk. But as I throw away the tissues, the phone rings again, making me sigh.
She really isn’t giving up, is she?
Guess my further investigation of Hailey’s profile will have to wait.
Chapter 6
Hailey
“Look,” Lesley says. “I can make dicks with my smoke.”
She takes a drag of her cigarette and blows out the air in a bigger circle and then a smaller stream, which sort of looks like a dick … but not really.
“Looks more like a droopy sock to me.”
“Oh, fuck you. Can you do it better?”
“No, and I’m not even trying,” I say. “All I can blow is fucking pussies.”
“How?” she muses.
I take a drag and blow out a ring. “See? Hole.”
Lesley laughs. “That’s one big-ass pussy. That would fit like five dicks.”
“Six now. It keeps growing bigger.”
We both laugh out loud as we lean against the school building, watching the oncoming traffic from afar. I like standing out here, just watching people like it’s my job. Beats sitting in class listening to a lecture. I guess I’m more of a people watcher than an actual participant in ‘real-life.’ Whatever the fuck that is.
“Oh, my …” Lesley suddenly says. “Look!”
She points at a car in the parking lot, and I watch as Mr. Hard steps out of the passenger’s side. He walks to the driver’s side and waits until the window rolls down. It’s a woman, and she smiles coyly as he sticks his head through the window. I can’t see what they’re doing, but I know enough. It can’t be good.
“Uh-oh … looks like Mr. Hard-ass is taken,” Lesley jests.
I bite my tongue.
Then I see him turn around and pace toward us.
“Fuck, turn around.” I shove her aside. “That way.”
“Whoa, what are you doing?”
“I really don’t wanna talk with a professor right now. It’s already awkward enough in class,” I say.
“Okay, okay.”
We walk to the back of the building and wait. I peek around the corner right when he enters the building. I sigh to myself when he’s out of my sight. If she’s right … fuck. I hate to think about it, so I shut it out. I throw my cigarette on the ground and stomp it out.
“I’m really not feeling class today,” I say.
“What? You wanna skip? Again?”
“Yeah, why not?” I shrug. “Not like we’ll miss anything. All the classes are recorded and can be watched online.”
“Yeah, but he’ll probably give extra homework that you won’t get if you’re not there.”
I smirk as I turn around while walking backward. “Isn’t that the point?”
She frowns. “Okay … you do realize you need to pass a test soon?”
“I know.” I shrug. “But not right now.”
She still stands there, even though I’m walking farther away. “C’mon,” I yell.
“No, I think I’ll go to class today,” she says.
“Aww …” I make a pouty face.
“You do what you want, okay?” she yells back. “I’ll see you later.”
“Fine. Be a party pooper!”
She puts her middle finger in the air, so I throw up two. We both smile and then I turn around and go the other way. I don’t know where I’m going, and I don’t care. I just want to get away.
Run. Run. Run. That’s all I’ve ever done.
Three years ago
Every time I enter my house, it feels like I stepped into a funeral without knowing someone died.
The closed curtains block the sunlight, with only the light of the lamp in the kitchen lighting the house. It smells of burning cigarettes and alcohol, mixed with a hint of spices.
I find my mother in the kitchen, putting her blood, sweat, and tears into creating the perfect tomato soup.
“Hi,” I say quickly, trying not to interrupt her, but she still looks my way.
The big bruise on her face makes me stop in my tracks. “Hi, honey! Where’ve you been?”
“Just hanging with friends,” I say, tucking my hair behind my ears because I don’t know what else to do when I see the black mark on her face.
I make everything I do sound as casual as possible, so I don’t draw attention to the fact that I’d do pretty much anything, even if it’s boring as fuck, just to stay away from home.
She smiles awkwardly, only to cover up her bruise with a bit of her hair.
We’re both in denial.
Suddenly, the front door slams open, inviting in the dark air of rage.
“I’m gonna go to my room,” I say without looking back.
“Margaret! I’m hungry!”
His voice alone makes me speed walk.
I only just manage to slam my door shut before he explodes.
“Fuck! Why’d you make this crap? You know I always fucking want chicken soup!” I hear him yell.
“I thought I’d make something different today … to surprise you,” my mom says with her soft voice.
“I hate tomato soup!”
I hear something metallic clatter on the floor, and I just know it’s the pan.
“Look what you made me do!” His voice is louder than anything I’ve heard before.
So loud, it makes me want to scream.
“Clean it up and make something else before I throw you and your filthy rat outta this house!” he yells.
Tears fill my eyes, but I don’t want them now.
I feel so helpless.
I wish I could go to my mom and fight for her, even when she refuses to fight back.
I would hit him if I knew I had the strength to match his.
In a haze, I grab my iPod and earplugs and put them in. They don’t drown out the noise until I turn on the music. “Teen Idle” by Marina and the Diamonds blares through.
Loud, so it drowns out their fighting.
Louder, so I don’t have to hear her cries.
So loud, my ears almost feel like they’re going to burst, but I don’t care.
This music is the only thing I have.
It makes me feel alive in a world that died a slow, miserable death.
Thomas
Now
One empty seat.
Hers.
Does she think she can play around with me?
When I say she needs to be there, I mean it.
I give my class an assignment to focus on so I can get to work in peace. I open my laptop and type in her name on Facebook. Luckily, I don’t need to friend her to be able to private message her.