Yes, I might be the red-haired girl, the nose-piercing girl, the vibrator-under-the-bed girl, the girl who loves ice cream and rock music, who likes glitter, unicorns, and rainbows and black all together, the girl who’s a mess and a mesh of all things both disgusting and fancy.
But I like who I am, and I like my privacy. So I need to make sure I keep my shit private.
Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I storm outside. I find a nice spot near a tree and take a packet of cigarettes from my pocket. I light one up and take a much-needed smoke break. Then I put my earbuds in and listen to “Kitty Hawk” by Ki: Theory.
I stay here for a good half an hour, enjoying a bottle of orange juice while reading a magazine. I know, corny, but I have to do something to take my mind off the whole thing, and I know going back to my dorm room won’t help.
I hear shuffling behind me in the sand, and when I turn my head, someone shouts in my face.
“Where the fuck did you go?” Lesley asks.
“Here,” I say, smiling like an idiot.
She smacks me on the head with an empty bottle of water. “Asshole. You left me in there. Alone.”
“You have plenty of friends.”
“So? You’re my best friend. You can’t just storm out. We were in the middle of class.”
I shrug. “I felt sick, so I went to the bathroom,” I lie.
Best friend.
What does that mean when I lie to her face?
I don’t even know anymore. We used to be so close, since way back when we met on the first day of college. If I knew then that I’d be lying to her face, I’d have punched myself. But I can’t exactly tell her the truth either. What I did with Thomas was a big fat no-no. I can’t tell anyone. Not even her.
I don’t want her to know. Yet. Maybe not ever. I don’t know.
This isn’t just something you tell someone while you’re casually sitting under a tree.
“And what the fuck is that?” She snatches the magazine from my hand. “Playboy?”
“Found it in the trash.”
“Trash? You’re outta your mind.” She throws it back at me.
“What? I just needed some distraction. It wasn’t covered in filth or anything … except on the inside.” I grin.
“You’re a lunatic,” she says, sitting down beside me.
“And proud of it.”
“So you ran out because you needed to puke? I don’t believe it. You never get sick on the first day. You’re never nervous.”
“Today, I was. I can’t help it. Can we just talk about something else?”
“As long as you promise me this isn’t because of your mom.”
“It isn’t.”
“Are you sure?” She places a hand on my shoulder. “Because you know you can tell me everything, right?”
“Yeah … No, it’s not my mom. I promise.”
“Okay. So you left class because you were sick. Were you too embarrassed to come back?”
I look at her, nodding. “Yeah.”
“I get it. Everyone was looking at you when you rushed out.”
I groan, palming my face. “Please don’t remind me.”
She laughs a bit. “It’s okay. No one will remember. They all only had eyes for the teacher. He’s freakishly hot.”
“Tell me about it …” I say, choking up a little at the thought of seeing him again.
“Just as long as you don’t leave me in there again. We’re best friends. Best friends stick together.” She rubs me and then gets up again. “Wanna get a Blizzard at Dairy Queen?”
“Fuck, yes,” I say, as I get up from the ground and brush the dirt off. “No fucking sickness can stop me from licking that ice cream.”
She grins. “Nothing stops you from licking ice cream. I’ve seen you lick it off some guy’s abs at a party. You’d do pretty much anything for it.”
“Damn right, I would. And who cares about abs anyway? I just wanted the ice cream.”
She holds up her hand. “High five!” And I slap hers. “Now, let’s go get some ice cream.”
That same night
Hours later, Lesley drags me to a club, but when I see where she’s taking me, I stop in my tracks.
“Oh, no … I’ve changed my mind.”
“Why?” She grabs my hand. “Nothing’s wrong with this place.”
“I know. I’m just … Can’t we just go watch a movie or something?”
She seems flabbergasted, but then she laughs. “Stop joking around. Let’s go have some fun. You obviously need it.”
I guess that’s what happens when you tell your best friend you got sick from being nervous. Of course, it’s a lie, but she doesn’t know, and she thinks this place will make me relax.
Unfortunately, it’s the same place I met Mr. Thomas Hard.
“C’mon, it can’t be that bad,” she says, pulling me along. “I’m here. That’s more than you need to have fun.” She playfully sticks out her tongue as she drags me through the doors.
“Fine,” I mumble as she gives me a stern look.
“Yay! I’m buying,” she cheers, as we walk to the bar. “Two tequilas, please.”
“Aren’t you two a bit too young for this place?” The bartender narrows his eyes.
With a smug smile, Lesley pulls out her ID and shows it to him. With suspicion, he checks it but doesn’t say a word.
Lesley purses her lips. “I’m the good kind of young. The legal-but-still-smoking-hot kind of young.”
“And her?” The bartender looks at me now.
Lesley eyes me. “C’mon, Hailey, show him.” She winks.
I reach into my pocket and pull out my card. He inspects it thoroughly, almost as if he sees something.
“All right. Two tequilas coming up.” He walks off, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
Lesley leans sideways. “I told you it would work,” she whispers. “These cards are magic!”
“I’m so glad I didn’t need it last time,” I whisper. “And I’m sure as hell glad he didn’t notice they were fake. But what if we get caught next time?”
“We won’t,” she says. “Not when you’ve got these lips and these eyes to lie our way through it.” She points at her own face, then her tits. “I mean, who can resist this?”
I laugh a little. “Big head much?”
“Not at all, actually,” she muses, shrugging.
I shove her, and she almost falls off her stool. “Whoa!”
“Sorry,” I say, still laughing. “No, I’m not.”
“Of course, you aren’t. Be careful, or I’mma hook you up with the nearest old guy.”
“Please don’t,” I say, making a face. “I’ve had enough of men for a while.”
“Oh, so he was old?” she says, narrowing her eyes.
“I didn’t say that.”
“I can see when you’re lying, Hailey,” she says, smirking. “But he probably wasn’t that old. Fifty. Forty? Thirty?” When my eye twitches, she says, “AH-HA!”
“Here are your drinks,” the bartender interrupts, placing two glasses in front of us.