“Yes … she’s adorable.”
He folds his body onto the sofa, fingers interlaced between his widespread legs. “Are you ready to tell me who Morgan Daisy Gallagher is or was?”
I shoot a nervous glance at the camera. Nate should be in class, but … “It’s complicated.”
“Well, good thing we have all day.”
I hate these stupid cameras.
“Swayz, out with it. You completely lost it with that guy yesterday over the girl in that picture you showed us. I’m sure the police will revisit you as they investigate this guy. I need to know what’s going on.”
He’s already said too much.
“We’ll talk later.” I nod toward the camera, giving him a tight smile. “Okay?”
Impatience tugs at his mouth, but he lets it go. I don’t like how the thoughts in my head wedge their way between us. It scares me. The grim reaper disguised as little memories, crooking his finger at me, beckoning me to surrender. What if the day comes where I can’t separate who I know I am from the impostor’s voice in my head?
After lunch, Griffin rocks Morgan while I call my mom. She’s texted me several times, just to check on me and see if I’ve made an appointment with Dr. Greyson. I agree to make an appointment. It’s the only way to calm her nerves.
Wish someone would calm mine. It’s impossible to think of Doug Mann and breathe at the same time.
“Aww …” I smile at my guy when I see he’s rocked her to sleep.
Griffin with a sleeping baby on his chest … this makes me want one of my own. But it doesn’t lessen my desire to be with Morgan.
Right here. Right now. It hits me.
Nate named his daughter after his best friend. He thinks he named her after me.
How will I ever explain all of this to Griffin?
We give our attention to Morgan for the rest of the day, but I don’t miss Griffin’s restrained smiles, like concern strangling happiness.
Who am I?
What’s happening to my life?
Am I living in a parallel universe?
CHAPTER TWO
We say a final goodbye to Erica.
A mother’s weeps shatter the silence as the earth embraces the lowered casket.
Yet … Doug Mann lives in his apartment. A free man. A murderer.
The police questioned me again yesterday because they can’t tie him to Erica’s death—a death they are certain was an accident. An accidental drowning. Are you kidding me? A cardiologist accidentally drowning in a bathtub? I couldn’t give them anything more than vague memories dating back to a time before I was alive. And they won’t arrest him based solely on my gut, which swears with every fiber of my being that he killed her.
Griffin pulls into an empty parking lot as I stare at the hem of my black dress resting just above my knees. I should have worn tall boots instead of tights and heels. My knees knocked throughout the burial as chills pimpled along my skin. It’s not that cold out. It’s the memories—they’re chilling.
“Look at me.”
I lift my head, but I don’t look at him. Behind dark glasses, my eyes focus on the nothingness around us.
“I won’t be ignored any longer. The police questioned you. The funeral is over. It’s time we talk about this. I’ve been patient, but it’s time to tell me, Swayz.”
I close my eyes. I open my eyes. It doesn’t matter. The vision holds space in my mind. It doesn’t need light to be seen, and it won’t stop replaying. The real world fades like an echo, leaving this deep suffocating silence.
His bloodied face.
One drip.
Two drips.
Tears fill her brown eyes, reflecting the image of her killer. With a blink, life drains from her face, dissolving the fear, surrendering one final breath.
Static. Whoosh.
Complete silence.
The darkest darkness.
Warmth.
Serenity.
“Nate’s childhood friend was Morgan Daisy Gallagher. I see her. I see him—Doug Mann. The cut on his face—raw and oozing crimson. They’re just flashes, but they’re real.” I ease my head to the side, meeting Griffin’s gaze, my brows drawn together. “Nate thinks I’m her.”
“Her?”
I nod. “Daisy. Morgan Daisy Gallagher. His best friend. His daughter bears her name. And …” I shake my head, maybe because I can’t believe it—accept it—or maybe because I don’t want to. “He thinks I know things about his past because I’m her. She’s me.” Continuing to shake my head, I sigh. “I don’t know, but I supposedly know things about him that only she knew. I can give accounts of moments that happened to him only in her presence. I know things about him that he told her. Only her.”
Griffin’s lips twist, deepening the lines along his brow. “You can’t mean reincarnation.”
“Nate thinks so.”
“And you?” he asks with a hint of sarcasm.
“No.” Drawing in a deep breath, I avert my gaze. “I … I don’t know. The thing is … I didn’t remember her until I saw Erica’s body in the bathtub. And even then, it was just flashes of Doug’s face, her face … her dying. I remember Nate. Not Daisy. If reincarnation is real, how can a soul retain memories of other people but not the person it was before this new life? It doesn’t make sense.” I laugh. “This is ridiculous. I’m attempting to give rules to a phenomenon that may not even exist. And by doing so, I feel like I’m acknowledging that the rebirth of a soul is a definite possibility.” Closing my eyes, I press my lips together. What do I expect from Griffin? This sounds crazy, even to me, and I’m living it. “I just don’t know if I’m ready to …”
“Accept that you’re her?”
My eyes open to a serious Griffin. What does he mean? “You think I’m her?”
His head shakes side to side a half dozen times. “Fuck, Swayz. No. Why would I? But hell if I know what to make of this. It’s an intriguing book. It’s a nail-biter movie. But acknowledging it as real life—your life … I just … I don’t know if I can do that. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t worry me.”
“Worry you how?”
He eases his head back against the headrest, gaze pointed up. “Hypothetically, you’re her. She’s you. And that’s a big-ass hypothetical. What does that mean for you? For us? For everyone? I mean … does this Morgan Daisy Gallagher have family? If Doug Mann really murdered her, shouldn’t they be told? But by who? Their reincarnated daughter who happens to be the nanny for—”
His head jerks straight again, brow pulled tight. “Nate and her were friends? Or were they more than friends? Who does he really see when he looks at you?”
The girl he loved as much as the woman who died giving birth to his child.
“A ghost.”
And they were more than friends. Nate left me hanging with their story. I don’t know what happened after they broke up. Did she die? Is that how things ended with them? A ridiculous clashing of egos? A modern day Pride and Prejudice?
“How old was she when she died?” he asks.
When Doug Mann murdered her.