“It’s not your fault.”
“Yes, it is. I shouldn’t have startled you when I realized I’d forgotten to put on the Christmas music.”
“Stop it. It’s no one’s fault. Just one of those things. Please don’t cry.”
She sniffles. “I wanted to make a Christmas memory for you.”
I chuckle. “Task accomplished.”
She slaps my thigh. “Not that kind of memory. I wanted to give you your first nice Christmas since your grandma died.” Since Grams died while Violet and I were on the outs, Christmas has been a bleak day for me.
The smile dies on my lips. I grab her hand and pull her towards me. “Nothing’s ruined. We can still make a Christmas memory. Come on, let’s go home and finish decorating my tree.” I reach forward and wipe a tear from her eye. “You’re killing me here. Please stop crying.” Seeing her cry makes me want to start destroying things.
“I’m not crying,” she insists as tears roll down her face.
I grasp her face between my hands. “It’s seriously not a big deal. In no time, we’ll be laughing about it. Remember the time I had to go to the ER because I cut my head open while we were decorating the tree?”
“Not funny,” she says but the corners of her lips tilt up and suddenly I need to taste those lips more than I need to escape the hospital.
My lips meet hers in a gentle kiss. I nibble at her bottom lip until she sighs. I use the opportunity to invade her mouth with my tongue.
Someone clears her threat. “Break it up, kids. We need the room, and I am not changing the sheets on the bed again.”
Violet giggles and I wink at her. “See, Petal. Already a funny memory.”
Chapter 21
Waterproof mascara my ass. ~ Violet’s Secret Thoughts
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” I pull into a parking spot in front of Bailey’s apartment building and come to a screeching halt. How I got to the city is beyond me, but now that the car isn’t moving anymore the tears I’ve been holding at bay burst free and course down my cheeks. Sobs rack my body as I hug my arms around my belly.
I have no idea how long I sit in my car ugly-crying. Eventually my sobs slow enough for me to realize I can’t go into a billionaire’s house looking like something the cat coughed up. I wipe my face with the back of my hand and end up with a mascara-stained hand. A search of the glove compartment yields some napkins left over from a fast-food restaurant. I wipe at my face until I run out of napkins.
I’m trying to figure out where the hell I’ve left my big girl panties and whether I can somehow manage to get the things back on when someone knocks on my window. I scream and cover my head, ready for whoever it is to smash in the window and carjack me.
“Open up. It’s me.”
Wait a second. I know that voice. I’m not getting carjacked after all. I roll down the window and force myself to smile at Bailey. She squeals and jumps away from me. I guess those fast-food napkins did me no favors.
“What are you doing out here?”
“I don’t know,” I say before I start sobbing again.
Bailey opens the door and drags me out of the car and up to her apartment where Roman is waiting. He takes one look at me and backs away. “I’ll get the wine.”
“No!” I scream. “I can’t have wine. Do I look like a murderer?”
“Um… maybe some calming tea instead,” Bailey suggests before pulling me towards the living room. She settles me on the sofa and sits on the coffee table in front of me. “What’s going on?”
“I – I – I…” I stutter.
“Take a deep breath and start at the beginning.”
“I was at the hospital—”
“The hospital? Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“No. Yes.” I shake my head and begin again. “When I was at the hospital yesterday—. Did I tell you I had to rush Luke to the hospital yesterday? I was trying to make this lovely Christmas memory for him and instead, he ends up in the HOSPITAL!”
Bailey leans back and screams to Roman, “We need the calming tea now!” Then, she smiles at me as if she didn’t just scream the place down. “Did something else happen to Luke? I thought he was fine, all stitched up.”
“He’s.” Hiccup. “Fine.” Hiccup. “Looks hot.” Hiccup. “With a shaved head.” Because mentioning how hot Luke is, is somehow important how?
Roman arrives with a mug of tea. “Here you go, Violet.” He hands me the mug. “Can I get you anything else?” he asks, but he’s already backing out of the room.
“We’ll call you if we need you,” Bailey answers.
“Please don’t need me,” he begs before rushing out of the room.
“What is it with men? A few tears and they’re scared out of their minds!” I take a sip of my tea. “Mmm… lemony.”
“Violet, maybe you can tell me what’s going on before I get whiplash from all the changes in the topic of conversation.”
I set the tea down with a thump. “I’m pregnant.” As soon as the words are out, the tears start falling from my eyes again.
“Pregnant! That’s wonderful.” She hesitates. “Why are you here crying your eyes out if you’re pregnant? Don’t you want it? Is it not Luke’s baby?”
I glare at her. “Of course, it’s Luke’s baby. Who else’s baby would it be? What do you think? I’m a slut or something. Luke is the only man I’ve ever slept with in my entire life!”
Her eyes widen. “You’ve never slept with anyone else but Luke?” I switch from glaring to shooting daggers at her. “Sorry. Not what’s important right now.”
“It’s not a big deal to only have one partner you know.” Now, I’m defending my lack of sexual partners?
“What happened?”
“You need me to explain it to you? Well, when mommy and daddy love each other then—”
“As much as I’d like to hear you explain the birds and bees to me, I meant when did you realize you’re pregnant?”
I collapse against the sofa and close my eyes. “I didn’t. I was at the hospital with Luke and I got queasy. I had to run out of the room and throw up. A nurse suggested I was pregnant.” I actually laughed at the nurse as I told her I can’t get pregnant. Laughs on me because I can get pregnant. At least according to the fifty pregnancy tests I took today. “Anyway, I realized I’d missed my period. I took a test and voila, I’ve got a bun in the oven.”
“And you want to keep it.”
I growl. “Of course, I want to keep her. But I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I mean, my body can’t.”
“Can you explain to those of us in the back of the class? I know you lost Rose, but that doesn’t mean you can never have another baby.”
Unfortunately, she’s wrong. I take another sip of tea to gather my thoughts. I didn’t rush my stupid ass over here to have a medical discussion with Bailey over my cervix, even though my cervix is why I’m having a complete and utter meltdown. “I lost Rose because I have an incompetent cervix.”