“None of your business.” She was close to tears as his fingers dug into her skin, but refused to show any weakness.
“Nick keeps texting me, and I bet... yeah, I'm sure it’s about you fucking everything up last night!” His eyes raged forcing a gasp out of her.
Turning her face away to prevent the fear from taking over, she lowered her voice. “I don't care, Logan. You should've told me he was gonna be there and let me decide what to do. I'm not your property!”
He burst out laughing, shaking her. The comforter fell to the floor, he kicked it out of the way. “Kristen, Kristen.” He shook his head, his voice calm, patronizing. With a rough jerk he had her flush against him. “That's where you're wrong. What are you gonna do about it? Look at you. You can barely walk. In a couple of weeks, you'll be popping out my kid. You're not going anywhere. You don’t have to work, I take care of you, I pay for everything... I do own you.”
The coldness in his eyes horrified her. Against her will, the tears slid down her face.
I will not break down or sob out loud.
For a second, she thought his eyes softened, maybe even filled with compassion. It was quiet except for the sound of her sniffling and ragged breaths.
Logan dragged her to the chair, sat down, pulled her onto his lap, and tightened his arms around her. “Now, tell me what you and Jonny were talking about. Every single word.”
She couldn't tell him. She closed her eyes, wishing it was all a bad dream that would go away.
“Not talking yet? Let me help you. Did you ask him about Jake? Hmm?”
His biting words played over and over in her mind. “I hate you!”
He stiffened, then released her. Shoving her off of him, he mechanically rose to his feet. “Have it your way—for now.” He lowered his head to hers. “If I arrange a hit on Jake, you might change your mind.” His eyes narrowed menacingly as he waited for her reaction.
She gasped, holding onto the table for support. Horrified by his sinister expression and disturbed, far away eyes, her instincts warned her to escape—her body refused to obey. He started to leave the room, satisfied. She waddled after him, clasping his arm. “Logan…don't do that, please!”
A flicker of angst spread across his face, then disappeared. He stared at her, emotionless. “Beg me.”
She cringed. It was impossible to tell if he meant what he said, if he had that power. After last night, she wouldn't put it past him. He'd said they were capable of anything. She believed it. If he'd killed Ray, wasn't he? Until there was some concrete evidence, it was still a big if in her mind. Regardless, she couldn’t take that chance. “Please, Logan, I'm begging you.”
“Yeah. I thought so. Now, what did you tell Jonny?” Despite the calmness in his voice, his eyes remained distressed.
I hate myself for letting it come to this! He will never change.
“I told him not to tell Jake that he saw me.”
“Don't move!” After pulling his arm from her hands, he rushed to the large oak desk at the other end of the room. Kristen held her breath, her eyes glued to him. When he yanked a drawer open and anxiously pulled out a small tray of cocaine, she exhaled in relief. For the time being, she felt safe as he sank into self-destruct mode. She stared at him while he hastily snorted the coke, spilling some in the process. Grunting, he scooped up and licked whatever he could. “This is really good shit! Too bad you're pregnant!”
The instant numbing regenerated him.
Now I can deal with anything, no matter how disappointing.
He motioned to her to sit beside him on the couch. She reluctantly obeyed, on guard for any sudden mood swings. When it appeared the coke had restructured his mood for the better, she breathed easier.
He threw his arm around her shoulders, gave her an affectionate squeeze, and nudged her head down to his chest. “So, you were saying... could you repeat it? I kinda lost track.” He gave her one of his infamous stoned grins and nestled his face in her hair.
An increasing queasiness spread through her. “About what I told Jonny?”
He wiped his nose and nodded, his hazy eyes fixed on her.
She inhaled deeply, seeking calmness. “I asked him not to talk to Jake about seeing me.” It startled her how she couldn't say the name without a surge of uncontrollable emotion.
At first he didn't respond—there was complete silence. Then his eyes gradually narrowed while he tugged her to his body until her back touched his chest. Bringing his forearm forward to encircle her throat, he held on, very slowly applying pressure. “Why?”
Kristen struggled to break away from him, hoping his arm wouldn't follow her neck. Her hopes were in vain. “Logan, you're really scaring me. Can you take your arm off of my throat? I can't talk like this.”
He basked in her wild eyed terror.
“Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't' realize it!” He laughed, taking his time as he removed his arm. Just as she sucked air into her lungs, his forearm tautened around her chest. “Better?”
Kristen closed her eyes, summoning every drop of strength she possessed. After taking several deep breaths and coughing, she forced herself to speak. “I don't think he needs to know, that's why.”
The shrill beeping of Logan's phone startled them. He checked it, deciding to answer Nick's call.
“Hey, man, what's up?” Putting on a cheerful voice, his lock on her chest intensified. She waited, her nerves on edge, listening to Nick's annoying voice rambling on. Logan’s discomfort became obvious. From the bits and pieces she picked up, it was apparent the conversation had to do with business and how disastrous the night went. As soon as he ended the call, a perplexed look covered his face. He raked his fingers through his hair several times, then fixed his glazed eyes upon her.
“Well, Nick's pissed. Lucky for us, Jonny didn't make a big deal about your bad attitude. They still want to work with us. But, lucky for you again, you will have a chance to make it up.”
The only thing I feel lucky about at this moment is he’s stoned and mellow.
“What do you mean?” She stiffened, her anxiety increasing.
“Dinner tonight. Good thing I bought you a few dresses, huh?” The room was spinning now, his body and mouth numb. It was impossible to recall what they were talking about. Something with Jake, possibly. Instead of wracking his brain, he closed his eyes, letting his mind shut down.
Seizing the opportunity, Kristen held onto the edge of the couch and lifted herself to her feet. Panting from the effort and the horrible image of another torturous night with Jonny, she disappeared into her only sanctuary. Once inside the bathroom, the door locked behind her, she doused her face with cold water. It didn’t matter how much she wished for it, there was no escape. Not yet.
JAKE
He couldn't calm down. It was impossible to rest, let alone sleep. After two joints and no real relief, he threw on some clothes and hit the streets. Another beautiful, balmy night, and the East Village vibrated, alive with hundreds of people out for a good time. Summer was around the corner and the air pulsated with excitement and renewed expectations. With his depression at an all-time high, Jake had no expectations, just a desire to escape for a while.