“Yes…” she faltered. “She didn't want me to tell you. I was going to weeks ago...”
Jake let her go, bringing his hands desperately to his face. “Does she know whose baby it is?” Somehow it didn't seem like a rational question. Nervous tension turned into pacing.
“Not yet, Jake. I don't think it’s possible until it’s born.” Her voice was filled with distress.
He stopped pacing and stood firm in front of her. “When's that? I can't fucking believe no one told me!” His words boomed into the night.
“It wasn't up to me, Jake. Tell that to her!”
He glared at her. Kristen wasn't there. She was her alleged best friend, and the next best thing to take his frustration out on. “When, Marty?”
“I'm not sure, Jake, a month or two. I know you’ve been talking to her! Fucking call and ask her! I'm outta here!” she screamed, stomping away.
“Hey! I thought you were going home with me!” he called after her. Even more frazzled now, the severity of his action dawned on him. Not sure how to handle the situation, he sped up until he was close enough behind her to not have to yell.
“Hey—I’m sorry.” Something prevented him from going to her.
“Fuck you, Jake!” It wasn't a complete shock when she turned around to flip him off. Groaning he turned away. When he looked back, her car was long gone.
SATURDAY
KRISTEN
She felt strange—it was hard to pinpoint and identify. Perhaps it was simply jitters as her delivery date drew closer. Or, was it Logan? He continued to be affectionate, but when it had anything to do with the baby his coldness became devastating. She sensed an inner turmoil brewing in him, but he wouldn't confide in her. She was tired but anxious, enthusiastic but depressed. Whatever it was that she was going through, it was oppressive.
They were in the living room, Logan quiet and unconcerned with her presence. A text alert came out of nowhere, startling her. Peeking at Logan, who was still absorbed in his laptop, she headed cautiously to the bedroom balcony.
Jake needed to talk. The phone rang just as she was about to text him.
Normally, her hands wouldn’t start shaking until she heard his voice.
Who says anything about my life is normal?
She answered on the first ring. He didn't waste a minute. “Kristen. Are you pregnant? Just tell me the truth, yes or no.” The agitation in his voice was easy to identify.
As her trembling increased, it almost knocked her to the ground. Her breathing was so strained the words were strangled in her throat.
“Well, are you gonna tell me? Are you or not?”
It almost sounded like his voice was cracking. She pictured him, his face anguished, buried under his long, wavy hair.
He thinks I don’t know how he hides under it when he’s hurting.
“Yes.” Her voice sounded like a little squeak. As her nerves became explosive she brought her shaking hand to her mouth, waiting.
Unendurable silence. It took forever. “When were you gonna tell me?”
She glanced through the glass door into the apartment—it was still safe. “I—Jake, I don't know if it’s yours—yet…” Oh God I hate this!
“Why the fuck did you disappear? Why couldn't you call me—didn't I mean anything to you?” He didn't want to ask her, to reveal his vulnerability, but he needed to. And he couldn’t stop himself. Not anymore.
“Jake, you left me first. You didn't even call me...” She couldn’t continue. The painful memory was alive again.
“What? You fucking texted me that it was over. You couldn't call me, couldn't talk to me—we could’ve worked it out! Didn't I deserve that much?” He was breaking down and exploding simultaneously.
“I thought you didn't care…” She struggled to go back in time. “What text? I never texted you ending it.”
“Don't lie, Kristen. I have it right here, right from your phone. Or is it so meaningless you don't even remember?” He was yelling now.
“No! I never sent that! I was really messed up, but I would remember! I never sent it, I didn't even have my phone—” Then it hit her. “Oh my God!”
“What? You’re not making any sense—what the hell are you saying then?”
“Logan—he had my...”
Is she lying again? It felt like the air was being crushed from his lungs. For a few seconds he couldn't feel his body, couldn't move or speak. Then without warning, he was consumed by a staggering fury, yet his voice stayed alarmingly calm. “I need to know if it’s my baby, Kristen. If it is, you’re outta there. You have to get away from him.” He listened to her sniffling, aware of her struggle to hold back the sobs. It broke his heart even more. “Do you understand what I'm saying, Kristen?”
“Yes—I won't know until he's born…” she managed to say between quivers.
“He? A boy?” Jake's eyes went wide with astonishment.
“Yeah.” She thought she heard him gasp. “I don't know what to do. It's not that easy.”
“When will you, when will he be born?”
“A few more weeks…maybe before, they're not sure.” Sucking in as much air as her lungs could handle, she managed to calm herself enough to think straight. “Jake, they said it was high risk, I had to stay in bed, I couldn’t work, I could’ve lost him. I had no choice,” she whispered, frantically watching for any sign of Logan. “Who told you? Was it Marty?”
He absorbed her confession. Trying to steady his voice, he took a long, deep breath. “It doesn't matter how I found out. You should've told me, Kristen. I would've gone back for you. You just shut me out.” It was impossible to conceal the pain and even harder to hold back the tears. After a long pause, he took a chance. “What do you want?”
It took her off guard “I don't know…what if it's his?” She had to ask. Everything was so fragile, so uncertain.
“You don't know?” His voice rose again. “You better start planning if he's mine. There’s no way in hell he’s raising my kid.” He could hear her sniffling again and struggled to stay in control. “You just let me know as soon as you do, understand? Where are you staying? I need your address.” He couldn't believe he was saying all this, that he felt like he had never meant anything more in his entire life. He had no idea what he was doing.
Logan was coming.
“Miami Beach, a condo on Collins Ave. I have to go! I'll call you.” She quickly ended the call, jamming the phone into her pocket. Turning her face towards the beach, she rushed to wipe her tears away and regain composure.
“What are you doing out here? It’s hot.” Logan was next to her, searching her face.
What if he can tell? He has this sixth sense with me. “I was thinking about that nanny. I think I have someone good…”
A glint of surprise rose in his eyes, then he shrugged. “Have her come over then.” He pulled her back to him, nuzzling her neck. “That's what you were thinking about? I thought it was me.”