“I can’t. Goodnight.”
The phone shook in her hand as she ended the call. Why am I doubting my feelings again? Is it because he’s going to prison for me? Or because I’m afraid of losing him forever?
Her eyes closed the minute she sank to the floor, defeated and breathless.
Jake held the phone to his ear, his face alive with enthusiasm. He glanced at her when she wandered into the room, motioning for her to come to him. Trying to steady herself, she crept to him. He pulled her down on his lap, wrapping his arms protectively around her. She could feel his heart beating in anticipation against her back. Henry's voice blared through the handset. It sounded like he was planning to start working tomorrow after all.
WEDNESDAY
KRISTEN
Micky Sedakis was in town and texted her about a needing a meeting with Logan right away. Of course he wanted her to go along. The instant she read it, an indescribable rush coursed through her body. As she started to calm down and think straight, the awkwardness of the situation became apparent. Why did he want her there? Still, it was the perfect excuse to meet Logan without lying to Jake. Maybe even a good idea, just to ensure their stories still coincided. As long as Jake was working and wouldn't insist on going along, she would be fine.
He was in the kitchen, the baby on his lap, when she strolled in. The wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee greeted her. With a bright smile, she went to him.
“Just in time for the burping!” He grinned, giving her a light slap on her butt. Alex's eyes were already glazing over from drowsiness. “You want the honors?”
The happy glow that always took over her face when she held the baby in her arms was brighter than ever. Jake kissed her head, getting up to bring her coffee. She nuzzled her face against the baby's silky curls, soothed by his delicate scent. She wanted to get right to the point with Jake, but dreaded a confrontation. The serenity was tangible; it would be devastating to break it.
“What's up for you today, baby? I'm gonna get ready for work.” He sat next to her, his hand warm and gentle on her bare thigh. She tapped Alex's back looking for the perfect burp while allowing herself to be drawn into the temporary solace of Jake's eyes. The tapping grew more rigorous, as her worry over the easiest way to tell him increased.
“Jake, I was thinking about meeting with Micky. He texted…”
Alex’s loud burp drowned her out. Humored by it she giggled and glanced at Jake. This time, he wasn’t laughing. Without a word, he reached for the baby, and disappeared into the bedroom.
Here we go again. The flip flopping in her stomach picked up speed. She took a nervous gulp of coffee. Before she could suck in a breath, he re-appeared, the table vibrating from the tautness of his arms pressing forcefully down on it.
“What are you saying, Kristen? Is that why he's helping Logan? An excuse to see you again?” He exhaled, his face so close she felt like she was stealing the air from his body.
“No! You want me to be honest with you, so I am! It will probably be all three of us.”
“Three of us? Meaning me or... Logan?” The heaving of his chest intensified.
She jumped out of reach, trying not to hyperventilate. How did the conversation go from bad to disastrous so quickly?
Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Not with you.”
He slammed his fist down on the table, sending her coffee cup crashing to the floor. His eyes darted to the mess on the floor, bugging out. With a slow, methodical movement, he crouched to pick up the shards of broken glass, his hands shaking. After dumping it in the trash, he returned with the broom and dust pan to clean up the rest. Satisfied, he turned his attention back to her.
“Do whatever you want Kristen, you always do anyway.”
An unusual and frightening calm radiated from him as he went to her. Instinctively inching back farther, her back hit the sink.
With a tiny grin curling his lips, he placed his hands firmly on her shoulders and kissed her. “I trust you.”
“I shouldn't be out too long. It will probably be a lunch meeting, and only if Cassandra or Alicia can watch the baby. I wouldn't go if I didn't think it was important Jake.” Looking deep into his eyes, she found the pain he couldn’t hide.
“Oh I know that Kristen, it is extremely important to you. I also know you'll do what's right—for all of us.” His fingertip brushed her lips, then he turned away. “I have to get ready. If you have anything else to tell me, feel free.”
A devastating chill slithered along her spine. She stared numbly after him as he left the room.
KRISTEN/LOGAN
They were meeting at La Seca Cafe. Micky was already seated at the bar when she pranced in. He couldn't contain his elation, bouncing up to greet her.
“Hey doll, you look beautiful, as always! Motherhood has never looked better!” He pulled her tightly against him.
Much to her astonishment, it thrilled her to see him, but her nerves were out of control. “I didn't remember if I told you or not. I was really on edge when I called you. And you look as handsome as ever, although you could use some sun. Not that I should talk, between me and Logan it’s hard to say who looks more like a ghost!”
“That’s your opinion. Maybe he does, but not you! And I'll gladly work on my tan if you go with me!” He laughed. She managed a weak smile, hoping he wasn't on one of his tireless rolls.
“So what's going on with you and Logan. I take it you dropped the divorce?”
“It's complicated, the pregnancy was totally unexpected. I tried as hard as I could to make it work with Logan, but he never wanted a baby.”
He nodded. “Life is complicated. What about Jake? You mentioned he's out here?”
“The baby's his. As soon as he found out, he came down here. We're living together now.” She paused, forcing herself to look in his eyes despite the surprise she knew she’d find there. “It's been rough enough and now this.”
“And to make it even rougher, Logan won't let go.”
Her eyes said it all—she expected him to be the answer to her prayers—the ever reliable miracle worker, juggling Logan's life in his hands. And from the distress in her face, her life and future as well. “What can I get you to drink?” He smiled.
She studied him for a second. He looked tired. The past year had taken its toll, but he still had that undying spunk. “Just iced tea. You know I can't drink and drive.” Where the hell is Logan? He always has to be late, even when his own life was on the line.
It was proving too uncomfortable being alone and discussing her messed up personal life. It wasn’t as if Micky was an impartial bystander.
A sudden strange sensation came over her, forcing her to spin around. Her eyes landed on the entrance just as he strolled through the door. Blushing, she snapped her head away, hoping any evidence would disappear before Micky noticed.
Logan’s eyes fixed on her the minute he entered. He picked up his pace, heading to the bar.
Once at her side, he hugged her close, his lips lingering on hers before trailing to her ear. “Where are we going after this, Krissy?”
Startled, her eyes widened, she gazed up at him. Unable to stop herself, her fingers lightly traced the ugly scab transforming into a long scar across his cheek. The scar inflicted by Jake’s rage. All of the misery in Logan’s soul seemed to pour out of it when she touched it. As she absorbed it, everything they had ever done to hurt each other vanished, along with the rest of the world.