There is a flurry of activity as Claudio and Claudio’s mother get up from their chairs and embrace and kiss this gorgeous woman on the cheek.
I exchange a look with his father but he just shrugs and finishes signing the bill.
A flurry of Italian erupts from all three of them, and then Claudio sits back down.
He leans in close to me. “Old friend,” he whispers.
I give him a pointed look. “Do all your old friends look like supermodels?”
He manages a smile and finishes the rest of his Amaro.
Then his mother sits down.
“Oh, that is Angelina,” she says to me. “Isn’t she gorgeous? Beautiful. Beautiful. You know, they grew up in Cavoli Beach. See, she is with her parents now. She was good friends with Claudio as a child.” She throws her napkin down. “Oh, I wish we could stay and join their table.”
“We are going home,” his father grumbles.
“Angelina and Claudio would make such a good couple, don’t you think?” she asks me.
Oh dear.
I give her a stiff smile, trying to hide my jealousy.
“They’re certainly very attractive.”
His father snorts, shaking his head. “She has been trying for years to set those two up.”
“And Claudio has refused,” she says, pouting. She gives her son a dirty look. “Every time I try and get them together, it’s Claudio that says no.”
The jealousy in my stomach starts to settle.
“Because I am not interested,” he says plainly.
“But how can you not be?”
“Like this,” he says, and then shrugs as an example.
“No, no,” she says, shaking her hands, her bracelets jangling. “You told me once it’s because Vanni wouldn’t approve. But how would you know? How would he know? He’s never met Angelina.”
“I just know,” he says, voice taking on an edge. “And anyway, it doesn’t really matter. In the end, it is my decision. I don’t have any interest in her.”
“So you’re going to stay single forever?”
Oh, I don’t like this conversation and I don’t like where it’s going.
“Not forever,” he says carefully.
“You are too tied to your art,” she admonishes him with a wave of disappointment, leaning back in her chair. “No time for women. You will die alone.”
“Or perhaps no woman is stupid enough to go out with him,” his father says. “Who wants to come in third place? There is Vanni, there is art, and then there is this poor woman. She will always come in last.”
I bite my tongue. Hard. I don’t want them to know we’re together, especially now, but it’s really hard not to come to Claudio’s defense.
I glance at him. He’s furious, his eyes hard pinpricks as he stares at his father.
“First you say I don’t work hard enough,” Claudio says through gritted teeth. “Then you say I don’t have time for a woman. Which is it? I’ll tell you what it is. Could it be that, until now, I hadn’t found the right woman?”
Fuck.
“What do you mean, until now?” his mother asks.
He stiffens beside me.
Gives me an apologetic glance.
“Me and Grace are together. She is my girlfriend.”
Oh my god. My eyes go wide, my face in flames.
“She is?” his mother asks, looking at me. “Is this true?”
I swallow. Obviously I’m not going to deny it.
But oh my god, how could he tell them this when I specifically told him not to, when I don’t know what we are?!
“Of course it is true,” his father says gruffly, getting out of his seat. “Don’t be so naïve, Nina.”
“I am not naïve,” she protests. “I just … well, well.”
Claudio is watching me, his eyes boring into the side of my face, but I can’t look at him, not right now. Not when he told them that.
We get up and leave the restaurant.
Cram into the back of the car.
As we drive back, Claudio keeps reaching for my hand but…
I keep mine in my lap.
I’m so angry that he outed us.
That this relationship is out in the open and it’s no longer in my control.
I had wanted to take things slow, and suddenly we’re official? He’s announced to his parents that we are boyfriend and girlfriend? What’s next? Jana knowing? Vanni?
You know they’re going to find out eventually. You should at least prepare for that moment now. It’s going to get bleak.
I sigh, the thoughts dwelling on me heavily, my anger coursing through me. I know I shouldn’t be this upset over it and that I’m overreacting, but I can’t help it.
When we get back to the house, Claudio and his parents go out onto the balcony to have some more drinks, but all I want to do is either yell at him (and there’s no good place to do that), or just go to bed angry.
And as unhealthy and moody as it is, I decide on the latter.
Nineteen
Claudio
She won’t even look at me.
I started this morning trying to pull that same shit with her. You know, you are mad at me, so I will be mad at you. I can usually play that game very well, my temper getting the best of me.
But it was impossible. How can I not look at her? She is my muse, my everything. My eyes are drawn to her everywhere she goes, as if they have a will of their own, wanting to drink in her beauty, like a man dying of thirst.
Even when I’m mad at her, I’m utterly captivated.
But the thing is, I’m not mad at her anymore. I’m just hurt. Hurt that she decided to clam up and ignore me. I know I shouldn’t have said anything about us being together, I know it’s opened up a proverbial can of worms. I know this is my fault.
And I know her fears.
I just wish she could choose me over her fears.
Right now her fear is winning, even when it’s been explained to her, even when she knows why she is acting the way she is.
I get it, though. I really do. I have the same fears, the fear that Vanni may make me choose between her and him. Fears that once we move past the physical fling and start opening up to each other, there will be no turning back.
The fear that I could lose her.
But we’re already at that point. I have chosen her over the fear.
I’m not sure she will do the same.
“You know, you can’t ignore me forever,” I tell her as we sit in the ferry lineup, waiting for the ship to pull in. It’s been a long, quiet drive here. “I am right here in this car and soon we will be back at Villa Rosa, and I will be right there too.”
She presses her lips together, but her eyes look wet, no longer angry. Just sad.
“I know this is an uncomfortable conversation, Grace,” I say gently. “I know that you would rather run away from it and give me the silent treatment. But we need to talk about it. Together. We are both adults and we both care about each other very much. So, let’s prove that, okay?”
She exhales loudly and looks down at her hands. “I’m sorry,” she says.
“Okay. I am sorry too. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Her head snaps up, a hint of anger in her eyes again. “No, you really shouldn’t have.”