I give her a warm smile, picturing her as a mermaid. She would definitely be one of those sirens that lures men into the sea.
“Did Vanni come back yet?” she asks.
“He did. I made him a sandwich. Dare I say the boy missed me. Or he missed my cooking. But I like to think he missed me.”
“Of course he did,” she says.
“He was very worried when he saw you weren’t here.”
“Oh. You told him I was napping?”
“Sì. But it got me thinking … he’s grown quite attached to you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, because he has his own way, but he’s fond of you.”
“You know how I feel about him.”
“Yes,” I say, climbing onto the bed and lying down next to her, my head propped up by my elbow. “I do. So … when do you think we should tell him?”
Her eyes go round, brow furrowed in consternation. “Vanni? About us?”
“Yes. Only because my parents now know, and that went okay.”
“That did not go okay,” she says, narrowing her eyes.
“It went okay for them, is what I mean. And I think it will go okay for Vanni. But of course, how do we explain what we are when I don’t even know? We never did come to an agreement.”
“An agreement,” she scoffs. “This isn’t a negotiation.”
“It kind of is. What are we? Where are we going?”
“You are persistent.”
“Only about the things that matter.”
“Well I…” She trails off and gives me a sweet smile. “I guess we are exclusive to each other.”
“I told you I have a possessive heart.”
“And I do too. So we are exclusive. Girlfriend and boyfriend, right? But no, you’re right. That’s such a juvenile term. Partners? More than lovers. And … I want to stay here as long as I can.”
“And then what happens?”
She looks down at the bedspread. “I don’t know. What do we do when I have to leave?”
I place my hand on top of hers. “You don’t leave.”
“What if you came up to Edinburgh?”
It softens my heart that she would think that’s an option, but at the same time she knows it’s not. “I can’t leave my gallery. I can’t uproot Vanni from his home. He’s been through that before, I…”
“I know,” she says quickly. “And honestly, I don’t want to go back home. I can’t. I’ve never felt more alive than I do here. Edinburgh … it doesn’t even feel like my home anymore. That city belonged to the person I used to be, not the person I’ve become.”
“Well, I’ll tell you this much,” I say, holding her hand and raising it to my lips. I murmur against her skin. “We don’t have to decide anything now. We can just be.”
She swallows and looks away.
I kiss her hand, her knuckles, her fingers, turning them over and placing my lips on her palm. “You’re mine, Grace. More than my muse, more than a lover. I’ve never felt this way before about anything or anyone, and I … I know that if you just trust me, if you give me your heart, I will carry it with me. I will be kind and gentle with it. I will always keep it tucked next to mine. So that whatever happens in the future, it doesn’t matter. I’ll have your heart and you’ll have mine.”
She turns and looks at me. Her fingers reach out and trail down the side of my face, her eyes big and gleaming as if she’s trying to really see me. “You’re a good man, Claudio Romano.”
“I’m your man,” I tell her. “That is what makes me good.”
She stares at my lips for a moment and then leans in, kissing me. Her hand slides back into my hair and my mouth opens against hers. I feel myself getting lost again, all the feelings inside me bubbling up like sweet Prosecco. There is so much fucking joy being with her like this that it’s become impossible to contain.
I find myself smiling as I kiss her, and then I roll over on top of her, pinning her below me. My cock lengthens between us.
“No blindfolds this time,” I whisper to her, tugging up her dress. “I want to look into your eyes as you come. I want you to look into mine. I want you to see me.” I run my thumb over her lip, feeling emotion catch in my throat. “I want you to see me as I really am, how I really feel, everything open. Nothing to hide. The real me.”
She blinks at me. Of course I have been nothing but the real me with her. But even so, I know I’m holding back. I no longer want to keep it from her.
I love her.
I love her so damn much.
She nods slightly, her features serious, and she reaches down to unzip my pants, shrugging them down over my ass. I position myself beneath her and then push inside her, her thighs parting to let me in.
My eyes flutter closed as she holds me tight, so hot and wet and perfect.
We fit. We fit in such a way that it seems terribly cruel that we haven’t found each other until now. We missed out on so much by not being together that we’ve spent our life wandering around, wondering if it was ever possible to feel this way.
Then again, if I had known her when I was younger, maybe we wouldn’t fit like we do now. Maybe we’re born whole and polished and unscathed, and then life slowly chips away at us. Some of those chips are deep, some are just surface scratches, but we carry them with us as we walk through life, becoming more and more worn.
Yet the flaws make us who we are. What we’ve been through make us who we are. This life, it’s trial by fire. If we didn’t go through it, we wouldn’t be the people we are today, and we wouldn’t fit like we do right now.
I slide into her with such ease that I know I’ve never belonged so much as I do now. Not just with her, but here, in the world. She makes everything make sense again.
I press my face into her neck and I’m grinning, buried in her hair. Letting it all wash over me.
I won’t lose her, no matter what.
My pumps quicken, her short nails scratching at my back, wanting more from me, fevered and needy.
She whispers her desires.
Deeper.
Harder.
More.
She’s so greedy she’s insatiable, and then I’m slamming my hips against her, trying to give her what she wants, trying to hold on, my cock driving deeper. The headboard slams into the wall over and over again, and I can only hope Vanni is still outside by the pool, because we are being loud.
“Claudio,” she says, her voice breaking as her eyes pinch shut, her pleasure threatening to overtake her. “I—"
“Don’t close your eyes,” I command. “Keep looking at me.”
Her eyes fly open and then she’s coming.
I watch as she becomes undone, a spool of thread unraveling, leaving something bare and bright and beautiful behind.
“Oh god!” she cries out, tears rushing to her eyes, her mouth open and wet as she keeps crying out my name. Her body rises off the bed, shuddering around me, and I give myself permission to let go.
I come with a deep groan, my back arching as the orgasm rips up my spine, rendering me boneless. I nearly collapse on top of her, bracketing her between my elbows. My head drops, limp, forehead resting against her chest. I can feel her heartbeat through her skin, slowly calming down. It’s reassuring to feel her heart, to know it’s there, to know that maybe one day it will be mine for good.