I give her a cautious smile. “The book is actually doing really well.”
Her eyes go round. “Really?”
I nod, spearing my linguine. “Really. I’m at chapter…”
“You’re at chapter sixteen,” Claudio fills in.
Now Jana is looking at him in surprise. “Oh? You’ve read it?”
“No.” He shakes his head and has some of his wine. “I haven’t. But we talk about the book often.”
“He’s good for bouncing ideas off of,” I explain.
“I see,” she says slowly. Then she smiles at me. “Well that is excellent news Grace. I am so excited for this book.”
“Me too,” I say. Then I blurt out, “But I thought you should know, it’s a romance now.”
“Gross,” Vanni comments.
Jana adjusts her glasses and stares at me. “A romance?”
“Yes.”
Oh shit. I see her disappointment.
I clear my throat. “See, I was stuck when it was women’s fiction and it was so much pressure on myself to produce this big aching book and then I thought, you know what? I’ve gone through too much pain and misery lately, I don’t want to write something that will make me feel worse. I want to write something happy. I wanted to write a romance with a happily-ever-after. And I figured, well, if I feel this way about the book, maybe that’s what will make it good. Maybe others will want to feel good too. Close the book with a happy sigh and let that feeling carry them through the day.”
I realize I’m rambling so I quickly shove a forkful of pasta into my mouth, just to shut myself up.
“Oh, okay,” Jana says after a moment. She looks to Claudio. “You’ll have to excuse me if I’m not picking up on her passion for the project, it’s just very different than the book the publishers decided to buy from her.”
“I’m aware,” Claudio says smoothly, and I can tell that Jana doesn’t like that. “But if the book is better this way, then I’m sure it will be okay.”
“Claudio, darling, look. You don’t know publishing.”
“No, but I know a good writer when I see one and I think any publisher will want Grace’s book.”
She squints at him and then looks at me. “So, I see you’ve had a cheerleader this whole time” Meaning Claudio. “Listen, this is a lot to take in.”
“I know. I’m sorry. But it will be fine,” I tell her. “Because it’s almost done. It will be finished soon. And it’s more or less the exact same story, there are just fewer tears and more sex.”
“But people want tears!” Jana exclaims.
“And people want sex,” I counter.
“¡Basta!” Vanni yells, covering his ears with his napkins.
Claudio reaches over and lowers Vanni’s arm, since he’s attracting attention from the other tables.
“And who says there isn’t both,” I tell her, leaning forward. “It has all the ingredients the publishers want, it’s just sexier and it ends happily. That’s all. I am sure readers will go through the wringer regardless.”
Claudio quickly reaches over and puts his own hands over Vanni’s ears now. “And if they can get off on it, all the better,” he adds with a cheeky smile.
Then he drops his hands. Vanni looks like he wants to hide under the table.
“You’re not wrong,” Jana eventually admits.
“And I’m happy for having written it. That counts for something.”
“It counts for everything,” Claudio says emphatically, his eyes locked on mine. “You come first, remember?”
I bite back a smile.
Jana exhales loudly, tilting her head as she moves her vegetables around on her plate. “I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, I will give them the book and hope for the best. I suppose I should have known this would happen. How could you come to Italy and not want to write a romance? For all I know, you are living your own romance already.”
Claudio and raise our brows at each other.
“Didn’t you say you came here to see that Lorenzo?” Jana goes on, asking me. “The game was last night, wasn’t it?”
“It was…” I say carefully.
“So, am I wrong in thinking there is something blossoming between you both?”
I’m looking at Claudio again, trying to find the words.
Then Vanni puts his fork down with a loud clatter, looks his mother dead in the eye, and says, “No. Grace is not in love with Lorenzo.” He looks at me and then at Claudio. “Grace is in love with my father and he is in love with her. They are in love with each other!”
Jana blinks.
Claudio chokes on his water.
I feel the world shift.
Twenty-Two
Grace
What the fuck?
I feel like I’m about to fall off my chair.
Did Vanni really just say that? Did he really just tell his mother that Claudio and I are in love with each other?
“What is he talking about?” Jana asks, her voice shaking a little, her eyes darting between the two of us. “In love with each other? You? And you?”
I don’t say anything. I can’t. I press my lips together, hard, because I’m afraid I might vomit if I don’t.
Jana doesn’t look happy at all.
And Vanni?
Well, I can’t figure the kid out.
“Vanni,” Claudio says sternly after a moment. “What do you mean by that?”
Vanni sighs heavily, rolling his eyes. “Oh please. Do you think I’m stupid or something? It is very obvious.”
More silence.
Vanni knows. He’s probably known all this time.
We’ve been so busy trying to hide it, so busy worrying about him knowing, we never realized he was onto us. I’m quickly flipping through the days in my brain, trying to figure out when we were careless. God, I hope he didn’t see anything…
I catch Claudio’s eyes and he must be thinking the same thing because he says, “But how do you know?”
Vanni stares at him with a wry expression. “I just know. Besides, I got confirmation that I am right.”
“From who?”
Vanni shrugs. “No one.”
“Sofia,” Claudio mutters.
“I’m saying nothing.”
Sofia. Of course. Maria would have told her daughter, or her daughter would have overheard her talking about it to Claudio or her parents, and then the telephone game began.
“Is this true?” Jana asks, staring at me now. Her eyes are hard, and they’re hurt too. “Grace. Are you in love with my ex-husband?”
Oh shit. Now I really don’t want to say anything.
“I am in love with her,” Claudio interjects, to which Jana gasps. “Vanni is right. And we are together. We are happy. We are so happy, Jana.”
Jana shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe it.” Her eyes snap to me again. “How could you do that to me? How could you make things so bloody complicated? You were supposed to come here to write, not screw my ex, my son’s father. How dare you?”
My face grows hot, the tears threatening to come.