“Hey,” Claudio says sharply, eyes blazing at her. “This isn’t Grace’s fault. It just happened. It wasn’t planned. And if it makes you feel any better, we spent many sleepless nights trying to figure out how to tell you. The both of you.”
“Oh sure. That’s why they were sleepless. No,” Jana says, getting to her feet and throwing her napkin down on her plate. “No. This isn’t right. This is humiliating. I came down here to see you and meanwhile you’re all secretly playing house? I don’t think so…”
“Jana,” Claudio says to her.
“I’m leaving,” she says, grabbing her purse and marching through the restaurant, people turning their heads to watch her go.
“Fuck,” Claudio swears. He gives me and Vanni an apologetic look and goes after her. I suppose someone has to. After the look she gave me, it sure as hell won’t be me.
“Whoa,” Vanni says, watching his father run down the street after her. “My mother is really angry.”
“I know,” I say quietly, my stomach turning in knots. This was my worst-case scenario, and it’s happening right in front of me. The thing I was afraid of came true.
I’m over.
The book is over.
I won’t have a career anymore.
I’m finished.
“Do you think she’s coming back?” he asks with big eyes, worry all over his face.
“She will,” I say, trying to reassure him, though I can’t be sure. This might be the last time I ever see Jana Lee again. “She loves you, Vanni. She won’t leave without saying goodbye.”
He seems to calm at that. I take a large sip of wine, no longer hungry, my anxiety ripping through me. But even the wine doesn’t seem to help.
“Hey,” Vanni says to me. “Are you mad at me?”
I shake the doom from my heart and look at him in surprise. “Mad at you?”
“Yes. For saying something. Maybe you were keeping it a secret from her, like you were keeping it from me.” He cocks his brow for emphasis.
“Oh, Vanni,” I say with a sigh, my heart heavy. “I am so sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. Your father wanted to, but I was too afraid. It’s my fault.”
“Is that why you were trying to talk to me about romance the other day? Because that was a bit weird.”
“Erm, yeah,” I admit.
“Why didn’t you just say something? I would have understood. I’m not a kid.”
I’m not about to argue with him, that he is a kid, because right now, he’s a lot more mature than I am.
“I was trying…I was so afraid to talk to you.”
He contemplates that for a moment. “I suppose I am intimidating.”
I laugh. “You are, Vanni, you are.” I pause, biting my lip. “And, well…you kept talking about Gio’s timeline and it was better because your mother and your father were together. So I figured…how can I compete with that universe?”
“That is true,” he says slowly. Then he perks up. “But now it is better. This timeline is no longer the darkest. Now I’ll have my father and mother and you’ll be there too. The three of you can live together!”
“Vanni, what you’re describing is polygamy. And that’s not going to happen.”
His face falls. “Oh.”
“But that doesn’t mean you won’t have three people who love you very much. Your father, your mother, and me. Isn’t that nice, to have three people in your life who you can call your family?”
Okay, I am probably overstepping my boundaries here, but I’ve got adrenaline coursing through my veins still. I know that Jana will punish me for this, the least I can do is make sure that Vanni doesn’t hate me as well.
“I do have a lot of family already,” he muses. “I suppose it doesn’t hurt to have more.”
“See. More people to adore you.”
My words seem to have an impact on him. He nods slowly, his lips pursed as he mulls it over. “But my mother will still live in London?”
“She will. It will be just as before. But now your father is happy. Right? All you wanted was for him to be happy, now you know he is happy.”
“Because he’s in love with you…”
I smile softly and reach over and squeeze his hand. “Yes. He’s in love with me and…” I take in a deep breath. “I’m in love with him.”
I’m in love with him.
No point denying it anymore, no point in trying to figure it out.
What Maria said was true, when you know, you know….and I know. Maybe she was also right in that it took the truth to come out before I could recognize it, but it’s there and shining inside me, loud and pure and true.
I love Claudio Romano.
“Gross,” Vanni says under his breath, taking his hand away.
He goes back to eating his food, while I sit there feeling stunned and breathless.
No one ever said love would hit you like a frying pan to the face, scrambling your brain, making you feel dumbstruck.
But that’s all I can feel right now. Like I’ve been shaken upside down and now I have to figure out how to get everything back in the right spot, or perhaps the beauty is that you don’t. Love is chaotic and messy and maybe nothing will ever feel the same again, and maybe that’s the point of it all. Maybe that’s the best thing to ever happen to me.
I definitely know that Claudio is the best thing to ever happen to me.
I quickly reach into my purse and pull out my phone, going to the notes app.
“What are you doing?” Vanni asks in between bites of his food.
“I’m writing,” I tell him, my fingers flying across the keyboard. “I think I know how to end the book.”
“It’s a romance,” he says. “There’s probably going to be kissing.”
I break out into laughter, happiness flooding through me. “Yes, there is going to be kissing.”
“And no time travel?”
“No time travel.”
I know how the heroine is going to come to her senses, I know how they’ll end up on their happily-ever-after. I know it and I can see the end so clear. I’m spurred on not only by my love of Claudio, but I feel like I have Robyn on my shoulder, showing me what to do and where to go. Even if Jana drops me as a client, I know I’m going to be okay.
I’m going to be okay, because even though writing can be the loneliest profession, you’re never truly alone when you have people that love you.
“Can I get dessert?” Vanni asks me, after we’ve sat in silence for a while. “I don’t think they’re ever coming back.”
I finish wrapping up a sentence and slide the phone away. There’s a difference between being struck by inspiration and being rude. “Sure you can. Let’s see…”
I’m bringing the menu over to us when I see Claudio come back into the restaurant, his expression grim.
Uh oh.
He sits down and gives us a quick smile, reaching for the last of the wine.
“How was it?” I ask him.
“I’ll tell you later,” he says before he has a big gulp.
“She’s coming back, right?” Vanni asks.