“This place is the shit,” Caz says, sweeping into the kitchen as I’m plating our food. He wraps his arms around me from behind, nuzzling his nose into my neck. “I already feel right at home here.”
“I can’t believe you have a game room, a bar, and a gym back there,” Saint says. “I’m beginning to agree with this idiot.” He nudges Caz out of the way with a smirk. “Maybe we should just stay here and never leave.” He snatches the plates from my hands, taking them over to the table.
My eyes skim over the open-plan kitchen, dining, and living room area, looking for the others. “Can you grab glasses from the cupboard there?” I ask Caz, pointing behind his head, as I walk to the refrigerator and grab a large bottle of water. Rummaging in my purse, I find the pill bottle, washing a couple tabs down with water. Then I fill a fresh glass and walk into the living area where Galen is lying on the couch. Theo sits across from him in my dad’s chair, tapping away on the tablet perched on his lap. “Hey.” I sit on the floor at Galen’s side, reaching out to brush strands of his dark hair off his brow. “You look like you could use these.” I open my palm, revealing the pills.
“Thanks.” He takes them from my hand, and a jolt of electricity zips up my arm when his fingers brush against my skin. I hand him the glass of water, watching his throat work as he swallows, wondering why I find it sexy as hell.
“You should go up to bed,” I suggest. “You look beat.”
“I’ll doze here,” he says, resting his head on the fluffy cushions.
Theo puts his tablet aside, walks to my side, and helps me to my feet. “You should be resting too.”
“I’m fine.” I shoot Galen a cheeky wink. “Guess I have a higher pain threshold than pretty boy here.”
“You’re not human,” Galen grumbles, his green eyes flickering open and shut, but there’s no heat behind his words.
“Damn straight.” I flash him a grin. “I’m a goddess among men.”
Theo smiles adoringly at me, and time stands still. His hazel eyes hold hidden depths I’m dying to get lost in. His hair is down, just how I like it, all shiny and glistening, framing his gorgeous face. I thread my fingers through the strands, and he hums, leaning his face into my palm. “Theo,” I whisper, feeling our connection all the way to the tips of my toes.
He pulls me close, tenderly and carefully slanting his mouth above mine and drinking from me. There is no urgency to this kiss, and he takes his time worshiping my lips, but there’s a tinge of desperation I don’t understand.
When we break apart, I rest my forehead against his. “What’s wrong?” I whisper over his mouth. “And don’t say nothing, because I know you. I can tell you’re upset.”
“I—” He bites down on his lip, looking over his shoulder at the others. “Can we talk later? In private?”
“Of course, and I know just the spot.” I tug on his hand, leading him to the table.
Galen sleeps on the couch while we devour the sandwiches, and after we’ve finished eating, Caz and Saint take off to explore the grounds.
“Come with me,” I say, leading Theo into my father’s study. I had intended to take him out to the little seated area at the edge of the garden for our chat, but I don’t want to leave Galen here by himself, in case he needs something, and there’s no point in wasting this opportunity.
Closing the door, I gesture toward the two large armchairs in front of the fireplace. I ease myself into the chair while Theo kneels before the fire. Wood is stacked in the open grate, something Dad always did, and my heart throbs behind my chest as I watch Theo light the fire. We don’t speak, and I sense he’s preparing to unburden himself. When he’s done, and flames are flickering in the hearth, he sits across from me, sighing. He runs his fingers through his hair in a familiar nervous tell.
“You know you can tell me anything, Theo. I’m a judgment-free zone, and whatever you tell me will stay between us.”
“You’re the best secret-keeper, Lo. I already know that. This is hard to say because then it’s making it real and…”
“And?” I prompt after a beat of tense silence.
“And I have to confront it, only I’m not sure I’m ready.”
“This is about Caz, right?” I softly ask.
He nods.
“Did something happen last night between you?”
He worries his lip between his teeth.
“You know it’s okay if it did?” I reassure him. “I have zero issue with you two hooking up.”
“It wasn’t like that,” he blurts. “Fuck.” Groaning, he leans forward on his elbows, burying his head in his hands. “I’m a mess, Lo.” He looks up at me, and my heart hurts when I see the conflicting emotions written all over his face.
“Come sit in front of me. I need to touch you.” I should’ve waited to have this conversation someplace more intimate where I could console him.
He drops to the floor in front of me with his back against the legs of the chair and his knees tucked into his chest. I place my hands on his shoulders and begin kneading. “What are you afraid of?”
“I’ve spent years imagining what it would be like to be with a man, and now it’s within reach, I’m terrified, Lo.” He looks back at me, and I brush my fingers across his brow and down over his cheeks. “What if it’s not what I want after all? Or what if I’m no good at it? Or what if I want something more and he doesn’t? I don’t want to mess up my friendship with him or the others, and I don’t want anything to come between us or for anything to damage our relationship.” He grabs my hand, struggling to contain the heightened emotion in his tone. “And what if Galen and Saint hate me for this? Or they think I’ll hit on them next or—”
“What exactly happened?” I ask, interrupting him on purpose before he gives himself a heart attack.
He squeezes my hand before letting it go. “We were talking one minute, and then we were kissing, and it felt great, fucking amazing actually”—he looks back at me again, and his eyes are alive, sparkling with happiness, until his mouth drops and the mood changes—“but the instant he put his hand on my thigh, I freaked the fuck out. Told him to get out, and I pretty much haven’t stopped freaking since,” he admits.
“Why do you think you freaked out when he touched you?” I ask, continuing to unknot the boulders in his shoulders as we talk.
“I don’t know.” He sighs heavily. “Maybe I’m not ready. Maybe that’s why I’m so fucking terrified.”
“You need to talk to Caz, Theo. You need to tell him what you told me. He will understand.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
“You won’t know unless you tell him how you are feeling. He’s probably confused too. I’m guessing it was a big deal for him as well.”
I know Caz has been with guys before, which is probably why he was the one making the move, but I don’t mention that as Caz told me it in confidence and I’m not sure if Theo knows or whether it would help or hinder. All I know is I love both these guys, and I see the attraction between them, and I want nothing more than for them to figure it out.