Hannah sighed. ‘You’re probably right; she didn’t love the theatre, but I’ll still always wish I’d thought of something different for her present that year. I’ve always thought that if I’d changed just one little thing she’d be with us. I guess I do that with everything now too. I try and look at ways to make sure there’s a safe and secure outcome, which of course has come across as controlling. I’m sorry, Nat, I really am. Your life is yours to live and I should be completely supportive of your choices. After the accident I did everything I could to protect us, and that seems to have become a huge part of my personality. Avoiding risk, wrapping Amy in cotton wool and having far too many opinions. I am trying to change my behaviour.’
‘I always thought you resented me after the accident and that’s why you became so overbearing – to punish me.’
Hannah frowned. ‘Why would I resent you?’
‘Because I’d lied to Mum, said I was working when I was really with Callum. It was her birthday and I should have put her first, not myself.’
Hannah shook her head. ‘I never resented you. If anything I was incredibly sad for you that you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. We both did things behind Mum and Dad’s backs all the time. It was just really bad luck. I know I changed that day, but it wasn’t because of anything you did. It was because I was devastated and wanted to make sure we never had to go through something like that again.’
Nat stared at her sister, who was gripping their mother’s heart-shaped pendant. This was probably the most honest and raw Nat had ever seen her. They’d both suffered with guilt since the day of the accident and taken it out on each other in different ways. If only they’d spoken about it back then. Regardless of their confessions now, Nat wasn’t sure she’d be able to trust Hannah again. Presenting herself as a stranger in the chat room was a form of betrayal. Nat couldn’t come to terms with how she felt about it right now. She sipped her coffee, then stood. ‘I’m going to go. I’ve got so much to think about, and I want to check up on Phyllie.’
‘She’s alright, isn’t she?’
Nat nodded. ‘Yes, although she was a bit weird again last night. It’ll be good when the doctor has a chance to look her over on Friday.’
‘I’d better go too. Damien’s at home with Amy, but I’m taking the rest of the day off.’ She went on to tell Nat about Amy’s accident.
‘Oh, the poor thing. Is there anything I can do to help?’
‘Maybe drop in and see her in the next couple of days. She’ll be getting a cast on Friday, and I’m hoping she might be a bit more comfortable once the swelling has gone down.’
Nat nodded. ‘Will you ring Dad, or shall I? We should let him know what’s happened.’
‘I’ll ring him on my drive home.’
They walked out of the coffee shop and on to the footpath. Hannah gave a little laugh. ‘As glad as I am that those two have been arrested, I was expecting something more dramatic, like you’d see on TV.’
Nat raised an eyebrow.
‘You know, a van screeching to a halt and ten guys dressed in black with semi-automatics jumping out and storming the cafe.’
Nat laughed. ‘In that case, what happened was very underplayed. I didn’t even see a gun.’
‘I think you’ll find they had them.’ Hannah smiled. ‘I am sorry, Nat. Please believe me, and I hope you’ll forgive me. It was an incredibly selfish thing to do, but I loved getting to know you for who you are rather than the version you allow me to see.’
Nat nodded. ‘I need some time to think everything through. As you said, it’s been a big few days. Now I’ll go home and check on Phyllie. Let me know how you go with Dad. And, Hannah, I’m sorry about what you’re going through with Damien. It couldn’t have been an easy time making that decision all those years ago. I hope you two will be okay?’
‘Thank you. I think we will be.’
The two sisters parted company, both deep in thought.
Nat frowned as she pulled to a stop in front of Phyllie’s. Leon was walking down the footpath with Rainbow ahead of him on a long lead. Had the goat escaped again? It had better not have caused any more issues for Phyllie.
She climbed out of the car as they reached her.
He grinned and held his hands up before Nat had a chance to speak. ‘Just taking her for a walk. She hasn’t been out on her own. Thought we could both use some exercise.’
Nat smiled. ‘Okay, good to know. Not every day you see a man walking his goat.’
Leon laughed.
‘I wouldn’t stop for long though.’ She nodded at Rainbow, who was now chomping on Phyllie’s magnificent display of yellow marigolds.
‘Shit!’ Leon pulled the goat away and waved to Nat as they continued on in the direction of his house and garden.
‘Tell Phyllie I’ll be down with a box of chocolates tomorrow.’ He winked. ‘Gives me an excuse to visit both of you.’
Nat smiled. He was cute, charming and flirtatious. She was looking forward to their date, if it was a date, on the weekend. Her stomach fluttered at the thought. It was nice to smile after the stress of the day. She was still blown away to think that Suze was Hannah. What were the chances of them meeting like that? Knowing she’d kept the secret of Damien’s parentage for twelve years, she might never have revealed her online identity if the Eliza situation hadn’t imploded. Nat was beginning to wonder if she knew her at all. She did have to admit, she preferred her friend Suze to her sister.
The front door was locked, so Nat used her key and pushed it open. She had stopped at the shops on the way home and bought a bottle of Phyllie’s favourite Prosecco. She thought they could spend the afternoon on the small patio in the back garden that caught the winter sun and she would fill Phyllie in on all that had happened. Her grandmother had been very interested in the whole Eliza and Suze friendship, so she imagined her eyes bulging when she told her the story.
When Nat walked in, Phyllie was asleep in her armchair, a lopsided smile on her face. She didn’t wake her, instead she went through to the kitchen and put the bottle in the fridge. She’d chill some glasses and have them ready for when Phyllie woke up, although she was probably going to want a coffee before she moved on to wine. She switched on the kettle and sat down at the kitchen table. A photo album was lying open with a blank page. She turned to the next page and found a photo of a young Phyllie and her husband, Nat’s grandfather, staring back at her. Their arms around each other and laughing at the camera. They looked so young and happy. It was hard to believe she’d never met her grandfather. That Phyllie had been widowed when she was forty and lived the next forty-nine years alone. Nat continued to turn the pages of the album. She hadn’t seen these photos before. She wondered if Hannah had. She bet she’d love to see them.
She glanced at the clock in the kitchen. Phyllie would probably be mad at her if she let her sleep for too long, as she’d be up all night. Nat stood and walked through to the living room. The lopsided smile was still on Phyllie’s lips, and the missing photo from the album was gripped in her left hand. Nat smiled as she slid it carefully from her hand and looked at it. It was of her grandfather, in his air force uniform, proudly standing next to a plane, his captain’s cap under one arm. He looked like a model. She could only imagine how much Phyllie must miss him. She hoped one day she’d love someone with the same intensity as her grandmother had loved Frederick.