Several minutes passed as I finished my danish and brushed the crumbs off my lap. I peered into my cup to see less than half of my coffee remained. My stomach tightened as I glanced at the time again. I was beginning to think the guy stood me up. Outside, a thunderous roar erupted from the sky. Within seconds, the clouds relinquished the rain that fiercely poured onto the pavement. My shoulders sagged, knowing full well he wouldn't be coming now. Not in a storm like this. Nearly forty-five minutes had passed since our agreed upon meeting time.
I checked the burner phone once more, but no word. Should I text him? Did he figure out this was a trap? Panic shot through my body. My mouth went dry. Was I foolish to think I could con a murderer by myself?
Thunder boomed outside, and the table of younger girls erupted in shrill squeaks followed by laughter. Inside the cafe, the lights flickered on and off for a brief moment. The elderly couple didn't seem to notice the storm as they read a newspaper and paperback novel respectively.
I stood from the table and collected my things. I needed to go home and regroup. Needed to figure out if I'd ruined my one shot at finding Callie's killer. Should I go to the Keygate Police now and hand my findings over to them? Let the "professionals" deal with the investigation? It wasn't too long ago that I was one of those professionals. I'd been just as tough, if not tougher than any of the male officers in my unit.
I looked over to see a mirror on the wall and the reflection of a woman I didn't recognize staring back at me. She looked like me, talked like me, but she wasn't me. I was drowning in the memories of the past and consequently losing a bit of who I was each and every day. But, I knew I was still there, deep down. The woman who kicked ass on the force, who took no shit from anyone, the one who proudly carried a reputation for being tough stuff would come back soon. Maybe now, this investigation, was my chance to pull her from the rip currents and bring her back to life?
I wouldn't give up now, but I did need to figure out my next plan of attack. I strode down the main aisle of the cafe, nodding toward the man at the counter before I departed. While disappointment ebbed and flowed through me, I refused to admit defeat. It wasn't over yet. I had enough clues to keep going. Somehow, someway, I'd find out who this murderous bastard was and ensure his one-way trip behind bars for the rest of his life.
As I placed my hand on the door to exit Cafe Aroma, a familiar face peered at me from the other side of the glass. I jumped back a few paces once we made eye contact, which gave him enough room to step inside the cafe.
"Noah! What are you doing here?”
He narrowed his eyes. "I'm getting some pastries and coffee for Angela. What are you doing here?”
My cheeks flushed. "Just needed some coffee. Wanted to check out the place, you know. Haven't been here in a long time.”
"Uh huh. Well, it's good to see you," he said airily.
I nodded. "Yeah, you too.”
Guilt rattled my bones thinking of his wife, Angela. The woman was pregnant with their second child, and little did she know Noah and I cheated in his car. Well, at the time, I didn't know they were married, but it didn't squelch the feeling of shame rumbling in my belly. Every woman deserved to be loved and cherished by their husband.
I stepped out into the chilly air, the mist from the rain kissing my cheeks. I glanced back one more time at Noah, then jogged to my car parked down the street.
Thirty-Five
After pulling away from Cafe Aroma, my heart weighed heavily inside my chest. I thought I was on the road to discovering Callie's killer, but it turned out a detour was needed. What would I do now? Sure, I could text the number again, but what should I say?
"Hey, stranger, it's me again. The girl you didn't actually meet in a bar wondering why you stood me up?”
I clenched my jaw. The rain pounded my car with fury, but I didn't want to go home just yet. I knew if I let my hands fall idle, I'd reach for the bottle. Slowly but surely, each moment without a drink increased my resolve and allowed me to capture myself back, bit by bit. But if I succumbed to my grief and frustration, I'd trip down the endless rabbit hole once again. Instead of going home, I drove to the river.
I parked in a paved lot overlooking the water. Not a soul dared come out in the storm, except for me, of course. I sat in my car and rubbed the back of my neck. Callie's laughter erupted inside my mind, the carefree sound of a young girl with the world at her fingertips. I loved her so much. She didn't deserve to die like this and so young. Why did bad things happen to good people while the evil ones got away with murder, literally? Well, I wouldn't let that fly. Not today. Not ever.
I turned the key in the ignition. My chest rose and fell while I placed my phone in the center console. Lightning flashed outside, followed by a nearby rumble of thunder. I scooted out of the car and into the storm. I needed to feel the rain against my skin. To feel something other than desolation and disappointment.
Without thinking, I set off down the dirt path alongside the river. Within minutes, my hair was drenched, and my clothes were soaked through. A chill swept over my body, but I didn't mind. I needed a reminder I was still alive. That despite losing so many people in a short amount of time, I was still here. I couldn't give up, not yet, not ever.
The tension built up inside my chest until I felt it was about to explode. I broke out into a run, ignoring the thunder booming in the sky. I sprinted down the path, the tears mixing with the rain coursing down my cheeks. I ran until my knees threatened to give out, until my lungs screamed for air.
Visions of Callie as a girl sprang from memory. A montage of our time together played inside my head and yanked at my heartstrings. Callie twirling in the living room wearing her fairy Halloween costume. Snuggling in her bed while I read her a bedtime story. Wiping away her tears after she fell off her bike. Callie asking me to never leave her side.
Determination coursed through my veins. I couldn't let that little girl down. And I needed this too. I needed to prove to myself and the world I was still worthy, that even in my darkest times, there was light ahead.
I slowed my run and eventually stood hunched over where the path intersected a drawbridge over the river. A car's horn roused me out of my exhaustion. I looked up to see a familiar face, my fearless ride-sharing driver.
"Need a ride?" she asked.
I looked around to gather my exact location. I'd traveled several miles away from my car. The possibility of having to go back now seemed daunting.
"Yes, please," I panted.
Sandy nodded toward the backseat, and I graciously accepted her offer. When I opened the door, I realized I was sopping wet. She watched me from her mirror.
"It's okay. It's just water." She smiled.
My body collapsed, and I closed my eyes to collect my breath. "I'm down a few miles. Near Apple Road. Parked in the lot.”
"Not a problem. Say, what are you doing out in the storm, anyway?”
Sandy turned the car around and drove in the opposite direction. My breathing, labored, slowed down as I tried to relax. "Just needed, you know, some time to myself." I shrugged.
She didn't press for more. We rode in silence for the next few minutes until Sandy pulled up alongside my car. I felt in my pockets for a few dollars to give to her.