I shake my head.
‘Why do you think that is, Anna?’
Because he doesn’t care.
Because he doesn’t care enough.
‘Because…’ I think of Adam treading water while I clung to the yacht. ‘Jump,’ he had shouted, panic in his voice. ‘I won’t let you fall. I promise I’ll catch you.’
‘Because he’s scared.’
He’s scared. I’m scared. I cover my face with my hands and Eva allows me the indulgence of tears. Eventually I raise my face to hers.
‘We’ve so much to say,’ I whisper. ‘So much we should have said. We didn’t talk. We didn’t listen. If there’s the slightest chance I can put that right… Please. Let me.’
She puts down her pen. ‘I’ll go and fetch Oliver.’
Chapter Forty
Oliver
Anna’s psychological assessment has gone well. Eva is willing to sign off on the paperwork on the condition she gets to chat to Anna every day.
‘Sofia has taken Anna to the medical wing for a physical,’ he tells Nell, who is nursing cold coffee. ‘There are certain conditions we need to be mindful of when using magnets, which would rule Anna out of participating in the study. She shouldn’t be too much longer.’
‘What sort of things?’ Nell asks.
‘Pacemakers, any metal in the body; plates, screws that sort of thing. If Anna were pregnant.’
Nell sighs. ‘She was. Anna had a miscarriage after the accident.’
It is both shock and sadness that steal Oliver’s words. Anna has been through so much more than he had imagined.
‘They had been trying for a baby for five years,’ Nell says.
‘Do you think she’s ready for this?’ Oliver respects Eva’s opinion but Nell knows Anna better than anyone. ‘If you don’t think she’s up to it, I’ll call it off now.’ Science is everything to Oliver but even he knows that people… people have to come first.
‘I think she needs this,’ Nell says.
They sit in silence until Sofia brings Anna back to them. Immediately, Nell rushes towards her friend, wrapping her arms around her. Murmuring in her ear. Oliver glances at Sofia. She gives a slight nod.
‘Anna.’ Briefly he touches her shoulder.
‘I want to see Adam.’ Wearily she turns around.
‘Of course. Right away. All the tests are fine so if you want to, we can bring him back here?’
‘Today?’
‘Only if you’re comfortable with that. You could sleep here tonight. Both of you?’
‘I’ve got an early flight,’ Nell says. ‘I don’t want to disturb Anna by getting up at a ridiculous hour.’
‘I can arrange for a car to pick you up from the apartment first thing and drop you at the airport,’ Oliver says.
‘I think that would be best. Is that okay with you, Anna?’
‘I don’t… I guess… Would we begin the trial tonight?’
Oliver hesitates. His head and his heart battling it out. His heart wins. ‘Not today, we need time to settle Adam in.’ They don’t, but Anna looks fit to drop. He knows she’ll push herself through it but he really wants her to get some rest. ‘In the morning though.’
On the way to the hospital, Anna dozes, her head resting against Nell’s shoulder. Nell keeps a palm pressed to Anna’s cheek so her head doesn’t loll when the car turns a corner. The Institute’s private ambulance follows them. Oliver feels his excitement beginning to brew.
But that’s until they reach the hospital.
Until they walk into Adam’s room.
Chapter Forty-One
Anna
My glare is steely. ‘Dr Acevedo, what do you mean I can’t take Adam? He’s my husband!’
‘And my patient.’ Dr Acevedo doesn’t look away. ‘I don’t think it’s in Adam’s best interests to be moved.’
‘You think he’s going to wake up imminently then?’
‘In my experience Adam’s chance of recovering is—’
‘3 per cent, yes, I know. It shouldn’t matter if I move him then, should it?’
‘Anna—’
‘Mrs Curtis.’
‘Mrs Curtis. I’m familiar with Oliver—’
‘Dr Chapman,’ I correct. I’m behaving terribly but I can’t help it.
‘I’m familiar with Dr Chapman’s work and while I commend his research into neurological disease, I can tell you now what’s in Adam’s mind. Nothing.’
He’s always been more pessimistic than I’d like, but his opinion is still a punch to the gut.
I glance at Adam. When I had sat by his bedside talking to him, I had longed for him to be able to hear me but now I hope he isn’t listening to this.
‘Dr Acevedo.’ Oliver steps in. ‘I can return with the Institute’s solicitor if you’d prefer, but can we perhaps talk outside?’ He pushes his glasses nervously onto the bridge of his nose. I don’t hold out any hope that he can talk Dr Acevedo around but when they come back into the room, Dr Acevedo has Adam’s release papers and a pen. My hand is quivering. It takes me three attempts to scrawl my signature.
‘You’re doing the right thing,’ Nell says.
Adam is wheeled along the corridor, with me once again trotting at his side. This time the doctors from the Institute are speaking in English, chatting to me, trying to put me at ease. It’s so different to when we arrived, but the fear… the fear is still the same.
Am I going to lose him?
Once Adam is settled at the Institute, I return to the apartment to pack our things.
‘You do think I’m doing the right thing?’ I ask Nell for the hundredth time as we eat our last dinner together.
‘Absolutely. I was reading this thing online—’
‘Please. No more science.’ My head’s throbbing.
‘Sorry. It’s just so fascinating. I might train to be a neuroscientist. Imagine that! I could win the Nobel Peace Prize.’
‘I think you could do anything, Nell, and Dr Stevens has a nice ring to it.’ I spear a piece of fish with my fork. ‘I wish you weren’t going home tomorrow.’ Everything seems manageable with her here.
‘I wish I didn’t have to, but it’s only for a few days while Chris sorts out cover at work and can look after the kids. I’ll fly out again next week.’
Next week. By then everything might have changed.
Or nothing.
‘Anna, you could always wait until I’m back to start the trial?’
‘I’ll think about it.’ We both know I won’t. We’re painfully aware that time is precious. That it might be running out.
A 3 per cent chance of recovery.
‘He’ll come back to me, Nell, won’t he?’
She squeezes my hand.
The car Oliver sent to fetch me winds around the coastal road. Out of the window I see nothing but darkness. Night has settled, merging the sea with the sky. It’s odd to think of Nell sleeping in the apartment, alone in the double bed Adam and I should be sharing. Tomorrow she’ll be back in the UK, but I won’t be alone. I’m grateful for Oliver and his support.