I close my eyes, relieved. “Good,” I sigh. “He’s the last person I need to deal with today.”
“Are you okay?” she asks, her tone perks up. “You don’t look so good.”
I walk over to her, starting my own cup. “Oh, yeah,” I shake my head. “It was just a crazy night.”
“Care to talk about it?” she asks, genuine and caring.
“Oh, no, I’m fine, thanks, girl.” I answer. She can’t know anything that’s going on in my life. “I just didn’t sleep well, that’s all…”
My phone dings as I step over to my desk. I glance down at the screen and pick it up.
Mom cell: “Where have you been? I’m worried about you.”
Me: “Sorry, Mom. I’ve been crazy busy. Call you later?”
Mom cell: “No need, glad you’re okay.”
Typical. She only wants to clear her own conscience, nothing more. Not a relationship or anything maternal like that.
I frown and set the phone down without replying.
“You okay?” Tammy asks, her toned washed in concern.
“Yeah,” I smirk, “it was just my mother. As long as she knows I’m still alive, she’s good,” I shake my head. “If she seriously only knew…”
“Knew what?” she interrupts. “Elise, are you sure you’re okay?”
Oops.
“Of course,” I lie. “I’m fine, just a little tired, that’s all.”
Tammy cocks her head, suspicious. “I’ll eventually get it out of you, you know,” she leans both elbows on her desk. “I won’t judge, you can tell me anything.”
Not this, trust me.
“Thanks, I’m fine, though,” I smile, trying to sound sincere but I can tell she’s not buying it.
“I’m always here for you, Elise,” she leans back, picking up her stapler. “Please remember that.”
I nod, suddenly overcome by her thoughtful words. The kind of words a mother would say to her child. The words I never got when I was one. Trying to hold back a flood of tears, I scoot my chair back and rush to the bathroom.
“Elise?” Tammy calls out.
I slam the door behind me, locking it as I grab a loose napkin folded next to the sink.
Shit, shit, shit!
“Elise,” Tammy knocks on the door. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Just give me a minute,” I say, wiping my eyes as I slide down the wall.
The gentleness and caring in her voice does me in and I have to cover my mouth to keep from crying out. It’s all coming to a head. My childhood, the lack of parental guidance, the frightening things I encountered, Ascot, my immortality…maybe I should go back to that mental hospital? If it weren’t for Sylvia, I wouldn’t be here today, and now, even she has to recover from the mess I’ve made of my life.
“You’re scaring me, Elise,” Tammy whispers. “Can I come in?”
Without thinking, I reach up and turn the knob, unlocking the door as she pops her head in and looks down.
“Oh, honey,” she tries to smile through her concerned expression. “Come here,” she gets to her knees, wrapping her arms around me. “It’s gonna be alright, you’re gonna be alright,” she whispers into my hair, rocking me back and forth.
I sob like a little girl in her arms, taking in her embrace like a starved refugee finally getting sustenance after years without solid food. I feel sorry for myself and I hate it.
“Why couldn’t I grow up normally?”
“Why did I have to be born with abilities?”
“Why were my parents such pieces of shit?”
Tammy lets go, eyes wide and startled. “Abilities, what abilities?”
Oh crap…
“What?” I blurt out, realizing I said all of that out loud.
“Elise…”
I close my eyes and shake my head. “I’m-I…”
“You’re psychic, aren’t you?” she cuts in and I look up at her, nodding slowly, apologetically.
“I knew it!” she smiles. “I knew something was going on with you,” she gets to her feet and reaches out her hand. I take it, and she pulls me up.
“How long have you known?” I ask, wiping more wetness from my cheeks.
“Pretty much the whole time you’ve worked here,” she admits. “There was no way you could have known so much about Camilla and I…”
“Wait, we talked about it. You told me all about your life when I asked,” I shake my head, confused.
“No, I didn’t,” she smirks. “I don’t tell anyone about anything if I can help it, it’s too risky. Especially when it comes to the abusive asshole that is Camilla’s father.”
“Of course, you did,” my brows push together.
“No, Elise, I didn’t. And the day you started talking about it on your own, even knowing certain details about my ex you couldn’t have known. Not without me telling…”
“Oh my god, Tammy, I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I didn’t even realize...”
“No, no, it’s okay,” she takes my hand. “I mean, it scared the hell out of me at first. I thought you were an undercover cop or something.”
“Undercover cop, right,” I laugh, watching her face brighten up. “Jesus that must have been terrifying for you.”
“Not gonna lie, I googled the shit out of you,” she chuckles. “When nothing came up and I got to know you better, I knew it was something different. I knew you were someone special,” she glances around the room, face suddenly serious. “But if Camilla’s father ever finds me…”
“That won’t happen, not on my watch.”
“I hope not,” her face clears. “Kevin is bad, Elise,” she whispers. “He’s warped and violent. He’s hurt me many times, I-I had to get away.”
Gulp.
“I would have done the same thing. I saw how evil he was through your eyes,” I admit, and her eyes grow wide. “It happens when I get close to someone.”
“Oh,” she whispers, looking away.
“What is it?”
“You can’t see him unless you’re doing it through me?”
“That’s right, why?”
“I was just hoping,” she pauses, “hoping you could see what he’s up to, that’s all.”
“Oh,” I sigh, “unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way.”
“I really wish it did,” she whispers with a ghost of a smile.
“I do too.”
Tammy smiles and pats my back, glancing toward the front. “We better start answering the phones. The last thing we need is Adam finding out and chewing our asses,” she rolls her eyes, back to her playful self and I laugh.
***
Just after noon, Tammy locks the front door behind her, holding our lunch in two Taco Bell bags. I grab my cell phone and follow her to the break room.
“You want a soda or water?” she asks, leaning down in the small fridge.
“Water’s fine, thanks,” I answer, placing a ten dollar bill on the table.