‘What do you mean?’
‘Why did you take two months’ leave?’
‘Oh.’ She pursed her lips. ‘Well . . .’
She trailed off and said nothing more. Finally he prompted, ‘Well?’
She sighed. ‘It’s embarrassing. And I’m ashamed. But it was the kick in the butt that I needed to come here and make things right with Gideon, so . . . I made a mistake at work. It was last week, on Tuesday, the day after that CNN special interview aired. I knew the program was coming, but I guess I didn’t anticipate how seeing his face on the screen would make me feel, you know?’
His face needed no explanation. Mercy had waved off her abduction as not a big deal, seeing as she’d walked away alive and unhurt, unlike most of the serial killer’s other victims. He’d personally wondered when her mind would force her to deal with what had happened.
‘I think so, yeah. When I saw the man who’d murdered Bella, I just remember seeing red. I nearly botched the whole operation by going in hot and mad. Seeing that guy, knowing what he’d done . . . it fucked with my head.’
‘That sounds about right,’ she said ruefully. ‘And as good a description as any. Seeing my face on the program, how scared I looked, and then they showed the tape of him dragging me from the hospital and how I just went all zombie on him.’
‘Like at the airport.’
She winced. ‘Exactly. It was like it was happening all over. And nobody asked my permission to include any of those images.’
‘It was like being victimized again.’
‘Yes. But this time it was different, because I knew my co-workers would have seen it. Nobody in the lab seemed to have read the write-ups in the West Coast papers. And those who did read about it never mentioned it to my face. I got off pretty easily when I went back to work in February, after I . . . you know. Ran away from you all.’
He held out his hand and she took it. ‘I get it, Mercy. You had a lot of processing to do.’
‘But I hurt you and I’m sorry.’
He pulled their joined hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. ‘You can make it up to me later,’ he said lightly. ‘So you messed up at work?’
She sighed, defeat in the sound. ‘Yeah. I let the stress get to me.’
‘Honey, you’re human. Most people would have buckled under that kind of stress long before you did.’
‘Yes, but my mistake nearly sent an innocent man to prison. I got samples mixed up.’
‘Shit,’ he breathed, understanding better now. ‘Was it caught in time?’
‘Thank goodness, yes. I caught it. And, after I fixed it, I turned myself in.’
‘You did? Why?’
‘Because it was the right thing to do. My supervisors were good about it. They told me to take the personal time and talk to a therapist, but that they do want me to come back. It was more than fair.’
Rafe had to swallow another snarl at the thought of her going back. He wasn’t going to try to influence her either way. Not now, at least. Maybe at the end of six weeks he’d have laid a sufficient foundation to their relationship so that he could ask her to stay.
‘I can understand why you might feel embarrassed, but you shouldn’t. You did the right thing. You showed integrity when others wouldn’t have. That’s something to be proud of.’
She shrugged. ‘Well, maybe. But that kind of mistake has always been one of my fears, always in the back of my mind. When it happened it really threw me.’
‘Hm. I hadn’t thought about the stress on the lab techs.’
‘You should. Detectives are always in our faces with “Where are my results? What’s taking you so long? What the hell do you do in here all day?” Then they look at my computer monitor like they expect me to be playing video games or something.’
Rafe winced, because he’d done the same thing more times than he wanted to admit. ‘I think I’m going to take an apology offering to the lab.’
She laughed. ‘If it’s anything like my lab, make it a dessert. I bet your mother would make you something delicious to take in.’
‘I’ll ask her the next time I see her.’
Mercy sighed. ‘Can you not tell anyone about this? I mean, Farrah knows, but I don’t want people to think I’m flighty or irresponsible. Especially after that video.’
Rafe couldn’t hold back his scowl. ‘Of course I won’t, but you weren’t flighty at work. You made a mistake. And that is so different from the video that I don’t even know where to start. You were blameless in that. Farrah told us that she’d dragged you to that party.’ He glanced over to see her lips droop sadly. ‘It wasn’t her fault, either. Don’t think I’m blaming her. I’m blaming the asshole who put something in your drink.’
‘I wasn’t being careful, but it’s exhausting, always being careful. I told myself before we went to the party that I was going to have fun. I was going to be . . . normal.’
‘You being careful or careless is immaterial. You did nothing wrong.’
‘Head knows it. Heart, not so much. But Farrah did notice I was gone.’ She huffed a little chuckle. ‘She went all badass superwoman, barging up the stairs and shoving people aside. I don’t remember it, but it was on the original version of the video the police recovered. She busted open the door just in time and shoved him out of the way and grabbed the phone from Prescott’s roommate.’
Farrah had said that she’d gotten to Mercy in time, but hearing it again made him sag with relief. ‘The one who sold the video to Jeff Bunker’s trashy rag.’
‘Yeah. Asshole,’ she muttered. ‘I don’t know how the roommate got a copy of the video, unless his phone automatically uploaded it to the cloud. Which is possible.’
‘Very possible. This was what, six years ago? We weren’t automatically looking at the cloud back then. Not like now, anyway. And speaking of now . . . we’re here.’
They’d passed through the town of Likely about ten minutes before he’d asked her about her leave and were now rolling into the town of Snowbush, population one hundred sixty-two. There were the general store, a hardware store, a diner, a gas station, and a post office.
‘They should have called this town Probably,’ she said, but her quip fell flat because her voice trembled.
He pulled into one of the empty spaces in front of the store, put the Subaru in park, then turned to face her. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’
‘What if we don’t learn anything?’