‘Did you?’
‘Yep.’ He hesitated, then continued, figuring she needed all the information before deciding how far she wanted this thing between them to go. ‘And I enjoyed it. I had to kill two of them, but the rest we took into custody. The two I killed were shooting at us and I was protecting my partner’s back, but I was glad to have killed them. They were the ones who’d killed Bella. Haven’t had even a second of regret.’ He paused a moment, then asked a question he wasn’t sure he was ready to have answered. ‘Does that make a difference to you?’
‘What, that you killed the men who murdered your fiancée so that your partner could go home to his family? Yes, it makes a difference. It makes me like you even more. And respect you. They wouldn’t have spared you, had you hesitated.’
Peace flooded him and his tense muscles relaxed into the corner of the sofa. ‘Thank you.’
‘What about after? Why didn’t you tell your family after?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe because they’re so . . . them. I love them with everything that I am. But they can overwhelm me with love and I was really fragile at that point. I think I might have broken into too many pieces to put back together, if I’d let them comfort me. And then, after I’d grieved, it was kind of too late to tell them because then I would have needed to explain why I hadn’t told them before. It was exhausting to even consider.’
‘I understand that. But your brother Jude knows?’
‘Yeah. Too much vodka one night and I blurted the story out to him. He showed up with a bottle of Absolut and a mountain of guilt. She’d taken the case over from him when the DA assigned him to another case. I think he suspected that we were together before I told him, and he felt guilty about that, too – that he’d “robbed” me of her, which was ridiculous. He ended up patting my back that night while I cried like a baby. He promised he wouldn’t tell a soul because I needed to stay on that case. When I killed the two who’d murdered Bella, we got drunk again. He moved to LA shortly after I closed the case. I think he needed a clean break. Too many memories here. But we still spend her birthdays remembering her, Jude and me. We drink to her memory and tell stories that make us laugh and cry.’
Her palm against his heart was a welcome weight. ‘I’m glad you have each other.’
‘Me too.’ He let a few beats pass. ‘How long will you be here, Mercy?’
‘I have two months’ leave. I’ll go back for Aunt Quill’s funeral, of course.’ A shudder ran through her body, but she didn’t cry. He’d be shocked if she had any tears left after today. ‘I loved her. She clucked over me like a mama hen and when I graduated from college, the apartment next to hers opened up. I moved in and had an instant dinner companion. We played cards or watched her shows.’ She laughed quietly. ‘She loved Matlock and Murder, She Wrote. I took her to the doctor and made sure she remembered her medicine. She loved my cats and gave them treats when she thought I wasn’t looking. Like good treats. Real tuna. They loved her.’
‘I bet they did.’
‘I miss her,’ she whispered. ‘I want Ephraim to pay for what he did to her.’
‘I want him to pay for what he did to you.’
‘You and me both.’ She yawned and snuggled closer. ‘You’re right. This is really nice. Simply holding each other like this.’
He smiled into her hair. ‘Yep.’
‘But so we’re clear? I don’t want to be just friends. I’d like to resume what you interrupted earlier at some point in the near future.’
His cock surged to life. ‘Yeah?’
‘Mm. Yeah. Do me a favor? The next time I come on to you, trust that I know what I want?’
‘Yes, ma’am.’
She chuckled softly. ‘Night, Rafe.’
So it seemed they were sleeping together. Rafe wasn’t going to complain. He pulled the throw blanket from the back of the sofa and maneuvered them from cuddled in the corner to stretched out together, his arms tight around her all the while. ‘Night, Mercy.’
Seventeen
Sacramento, California
Monday, 17 April, 6.30 A.M.
Mercy woke to a feeling of panic. Arms were holding her down, a man’s arms. She stiffened, poised to flee, but then her brain became alert and she relaxed.
She wasn’t being held down. She was being held. And the arms holding her tight weren’t just any man’s arms. They were Rafe’s.
And he has feelings. For me.
It was . . . a lot. Especially before coffee. Please have some. She slipped out of his grip, tucking the blanket around him, then straightened, expecting to be stiff from sleeping on a sofa, but it had been incredibly cozy.
She couldn’t wait to do it again. Or . . . She glanced at the bed, partially hidden behind a silk screen.
Go for it. Be happy. Mercy bit back a laugh when she heard Farrah’s voice in her mind. But maybe her best friend was right. Maybe not being unhappy isn’t enough. Maybe I deserve to be happy, too.
And maybe she was still loopy from Rafe Sokolov’s kisses and whispered confidences. Which had been exactly what she’d needed.
She used the bathroom, then washed her hands and face, staring at her own reflection. She still had bags under her eyes, but nothing like they’d been before last night. Her eyes were . . . bright.
And she was smiling, which was really new.
And then she remembered that Quill was dead, and that people she’d never met had seen her naked. Yes, Bunker had gotten the video taken down quickly, but it had been online long enough.
But you’re going to be brave, she reminded herself. You’re going to hold your head high, because you didn’t do anything wrong.
‘And you’re going to turn this shitstorm into something positive,’ she said out loud, just in case the woman in the mirror wasn’t listening to the voices in her head.
‘You sure are,’ Rafe said on the other side of the door, making her jump a foot.
‘Shit, Rafe. You scared me.’ Her face heated, knowing that he’d heard her talking to herself.
‘I’m very sorry,’ he said. ‘But can you talk yourself into stuff after I use the bathroom?’
She laughed, pulling the door open to see him leaning against the door frame. Shirtless. Her laughter dried up and she stared. God. The man was beautiful. Golden and sleek, broad shoulders and acres of muscle. And that treasure trail that made her want so much more.
His eyes warmed at her speechless scrutiny, but he broke the moment by clearing his throat. ‘As much as I appreciate you drooling over me, I really need to pee.’