“Three,” he demands, flicking at my clit while he enters me over and over again. The tension builds, and he knows it’s coming. I’m amazed how well he knows my body after only a few times together.
“There it is,” he mutters, pleased with himself as my legs stiffen and my back arches, drawing him into me as I melt around him. It’s slow and languid, dragged out over his length, and it makes me hum. My hands skim up and down his spine and coast over the warmth of his skin as I rub myself against him, clenching around him until he warns me.
“I’m coming.” He pumps into me three times himself before stilling, and I feel the warmth within. He holds himself up as if he can see what’s happening inside me, and then he collapses, blanketing me for a moment in the heat of his body. After too short a time, he rolls us to the side, keeping us attached and tugs me tight against his chest.
“I’m sorry for what I said to you.”
I tip up my head, expressing my question with my face.
“I shouldn’t have told you to shut up like that.” He slips from me, rolls to his back, and swipes at his hair, tucking his hand behind his head. I scoot into his side and wrap my leg over his.
“You seemed very frustrated this evening.” Frustrated isn’t the correct word, but I’m softening the blow after what we’ve just done. He looks away from me.
“You’re still leaving tomorrow?” It’s a question, not a statement of fact, but it sounds like a clarification of his earlier attitude.
“I got offered a new position.”
“When?” He pulls back to gaze at me.
“I took the call a few hours ago. A colleague quit, and they offered me his column. It’s a great opportunity for me. It’s what I’ve been waiting for,” I say, but instantly, I feel the burn of the words.
Jess stares at me. His eyes move over my face before his brows crease together. With my voice remaining monotone, even I heard the unspoken question within it.
Am I making the right decision?
He leans forward and presses a lingering kiss to my forehead.
When he leans away, he says, “Guess I won’t be seeing you around after all, Emily Post of Chicago.” He’s trying to tease me, but the humor is lost on both of us.
“Guess not,” I whisper before he tucks me into his chest. We both know it’s the end of our story.
Rule 21
Goodbye. Is that two words or one? Like heartbreak.
[Jess]
I wake with a start, feeling disoriented for a moment. Last night seems like a dream.
First, Katie spoke.
And then Emily.
We made love the first round, but we tackled one another on the second. I was preparing to leave when I finally admitted the truth to her.
“I don’t want to say goodbye.”
“Then don’t.” She kneeled up on the bed and lunged for me. Her mouth crashed against mine, and my clothes came back off.
I took her one more time before I stole off in the early hours of the morning.
I wake alone in my own bed.
Then I notice the door to Katie’s room is open.
I rise slowly, suffering from both a lack of sleep and night of amazing sex. But it wasn’t just sex with Emily. It never has been. I made love to her, and even in the rapid pace of round two, I loved her with my entire being.
Only she’s leaving today.
I should shower, but first I want to find Katie and check on her. I tug on yesterday’s T-shirt—which holds a hint of Emily’s scent—and a pair of basketball shorts. I take the stairs down to the front room and then stop short. On the middle of the coffee table sits the radio.
The one belonging to Emily’s nana.
“What’s this?” I say aloud, though there’s no one in the room. My sister enters my peripheral vision as she exits the kitchen and crosses through the dining room.
“Emily dropped this off this morning along with that envelope.”
I step closer to the table. I can’t stop staring down at the items as if each is a dangerous foreign object or something that might burst into flames. Suddenly, I feel like I’m going to combust.
“She stopped by and hugged Katie. It was awful. Then she left this for you,” Tricia explains.
“She was here.” My head shoots up. Didn’t she ask to see me? I don’t ask. I told her I didn’t want to say goodbye.
Tricia only nods. She keeps her gaze on me as she holds out a cup of coffee.
I need to go down the street.
I need to get back to her house.
I need to tell her to stay.
No, ask her if she’ll stay for me. For Katie.
Something in my face must tell my sister my plan, but she shakes her head.
“You’re too late, Jess. She left hours ago.”
“What do you mean, she left?”
She hadn’t made me the list of things I told her I would take care of for her.
“She left.” Tricia’s eyes wander out the window and then shift like she can still see her driving away.
So that’s it.
Guess I won’t be seeing you around Emily Post of Chicago.
Guess not.
Only, dammit, I didn’t want it to end.
Then I recall her briefly telling me about the new position. The job she’s always wanted.
“I’m sorry, Jess.” My sister’s sympathetic tone does nothing for me. I sit on the couch and reach forward for the envelope. Even if I wanted privacy at this moment, I won’t get it. I open the flap of the envelope and remove the two pieces of paper inside. I unfold the pages and scan the brief letter.
Dear Jess –
Now isn’t enough.
I want more. You want less.
And I understand.
Your past. Katie’s future.
I don’t fit.
But like this old radio, you made it work when you wanted it to sing.
I’d like to hear the sounds we can make, not just today but tomorrow.
Someday perhaps.
In a garden of make-believe roses, I’d always pick you—the thorniest one—but also the most beautiful at heart.
XO, Emily
Dammit, I’d already told her I picked her. What did she miss?
The second paper was the list of things she needed finished with a card for the rental agent.
I’ve secured this company to rent Nana’s place in two weeks. Think you can fix the sink by then? I also have this list of other contractors although Sue and Joe will let them in. I hate to think of strangers in there, so perhaps you could check on the place once in a while.
I stare at the note. She’d taken care of everything minus the installation of the sink I’d ordered for her.
So efficient.
Only I’m not happy with her efficiency. She’s closed herself off. She’s left me.
“I think it’s time I move out,” I announce as I stare at the list of services she’s arranged. I’d never let strangers near her place.
“Why?” Tricia asks.
“I need to get back on my own two feet.” I finally look up at my sister, who has also been spending too much time at my mother’s place.
“Sure this doesn’t have to do with a certain someone?” she teases. “I mean, who wants a man who still lives with his mother at thirty-seven?” She huffs and gives me a dismissive wave.