“What’s that?” Jasper asks, standing up, bracing himself with his hands pressed against the window frame.
“It’s nothing. I have to go.” I close the window, leaving the curtains open. I rush downstairs. I stop at the top of the stairway and watch silently as my parents lash out at each other. Dad is drunk again. Mom is crying for attention in her own unhealthy way. He leans into the oak armoire to brace himself as he screams profanity and harsh comments.
Suddenly, I am that twelve-year-old girl again, only this time, the tears don’t fall—this time, I walk away.
I reach the top of the stairs and my feet no longer allow me to move. Out of fear, my knees buckle beneath me, so I lean my back against the cold wall. All of the walls in this house are cold, ironic isn’t it? I close my eyes with my palms pressed firmly against my legs. With a deep breath, I exhale, and my eyes open. I brush away the stray hairs that have fallen against my face and go back into my room as if nothing ever happened. I mean, nothing has. This is just a typical day. For a moment, it felt as though things could be normal, but what a ridiculous thought that was.
After getting ready for bed, I hit the lights and fall into my bed. I don’t even finish the first thought that comes to my mind, and the next thing I know, I’m back there. Back to the place where my living nightmare started.
“Dad, slow down. Please. You’re scaring me.”
“You got your seatbelt on, princess.” He reaches over and tugs at my belt to make sure it’s secure. “You ain’t going nowhere.”
He finishes off the pint-sized bottle in his hand, taking note to get every last drop.
“Please, Daddy.”
“Have a little fun, Blakely. You sound like a goddamn two-year-old.”
I watch his eyes, just to be sure they’re on the road. His hand moves over to the window and the wind blows my hair in my face. He stretches his arm out to toss the empty bottle. I look in the rear view mirror, then watch in slow motion as the glass shatters against the pavement. Each piece takes a unique shape. I return my eyes to him and the sudden impact on my body is almost too much to bear. “Daddy,” I scream, as the car continues to roll.
Everything goes black.
I spring from my pillow and run my fingers through my sweat drenched hair. My heart mimicking the speed of a cantering horse. The room suddenly feels as if it’s closing in. So little space, so little air. I take a deep breath, unable to fill my lungs. I jump out of bed and try again. It’s so thick, so heavy. I can’t breathe.
I grab my phone from the nightstand.
Please pick up. Please pick up.
“Little late for that pizza now, don’t you think?”
“It’s happening again, Knox.”
His tone shifts instantly, “I’ll be right there.”
With my phone in hand, I drop down on the floor with my back against the bed. I tuck my head between my legs and focus on my breathing, which only makes it worse.
After what feels like hours, but is really only minutes, Knox comes through the door. He sits down next to me and rubs his hand over my back. “Deep breath, long exhale,” he reminds me.
“I don’t want this to happen again, Knox.” I rest my head on his shoulder and break down. I feel the tears run down my cheeks, tasting them on my lips and watching as they drop onto my arm. “It’s been months. Why is this happening again?”
“Was he drunk again?”
I nod, lifting my head, when I sense him pulling away a little. I pull him closer. “Don’t leave.”
Knox pulls me into him as his fingers lock at my side. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I can’t keep doing this. Every time he lashes out, the nightmares start again. I can’t do it, Knox. I just can’t.”
“You can, and you will. You’ve gotten through it before. You’ll do it again.” I feel the warmth of his lips press against my forehead.
Knox tucks me into bed and lays down with me, my head resting on his chest. He talks about biology. The most boring thing he can possibly think of. Just allowing me to hear his voice, to know he’s there.
I drift off to sleep.
My safe place. My hiding place. In the arms of my protector.
My best friend.
Chapter Thirteen
Jasper
After hitting snooze for the third time, I finally pull myself out of bed to face the school day. I throw on a Las Verdes hoodie, knowing that I’ll probably get some shit for it, and stumble over my own feet while pulling on my black jeans. I brace my fall by grasping onto the window ledge and give a double take when I look into B’s window.
The fuck…
One arm is still dangling free from its sleeve, but I stop in my tracks, with my jeans at my ankles. I wipe my eyes and look again. Sure as shit, there is Knox sleeping in her bed—with her. Her arms draped over his chest, and her head nuzzled into his neck. I fucking knew it. I knew there was no way that those two were as close as they are without screwing each other.
I shouldn’t care. But I do.
It stings, but even more, I feel rage.
“Fuck,” I shout, as the palm of my hand meets the windowsill.
By the looks of it, neither of them has any intention of going to school. They’ll probably lie in bed all day, screwing and laughing at me for falling into her trap of lies. I don’t know what game this girl is playing, but I’m folding before she drags me any further into her world.
When fourth period rolls around, I keep expecting to see the cozy couple show their faces, but they never do. I should demand answers, but I don’t even feel like I have any place to question this. It’s not like B is my girl. If she were, Knox would be a dead man. I still can’t help but feel betrayed in some sense. It’s not like it’s a secret that B and I have been spending time together. Part of it is for the project, but even more, it’s because we click together. We make sense. At least, I thought we did.
Walking into the locker room for practice feels a bit like stepping into a cage of hungry birds. Not intimidating in the least and slightly comical when they chirp.
“If it isn’t Las Verdes’ leftovers,” Kip mumbles under his breath. Not loud enough for the entire team to hear him but loud enough for me to put him in his place.
“You got a problem?” I lift my chin and inch closer to his face. “You better watch that mouth of yours before I stuff Knox’s dick in it.”
Kip brushes me away, as I knew he would. Most of these guys are all talk. I’ve dealt with them for years. Not so much the junior class, like Knox, Axel, and Kip, but they will learn fast that Las Verdes is a family and we bleed for one another.
“Pay no attention to him, Kip. He thinks that just because he took Levi’s spot on the field and stole his girl that he’s the top dog around here.” I swing around when I hear the voice and, sure as shit, there’s Knox.
I can’t help but laugh. “Thank God he’s injured, he’d drive you straight to the losing board.”
I don’t even know what the hell this guy is doing here. Last I knew, he was curled up in bed with my vixen of a neighbor.
“You’ve got some big shoes to fill, and unlucky for us, I don’t think you’re the man for the job.” Knox says as he pulls his practice jersey over his head.