Carla took in a shaky breath. “Are you sure? We haven’t exactly been talking a lot here lately.”
Janice moved her hand from Carla’s cheek to her shoulder.
“No, we haven’t. Is that what’s bothering you?”
“It has been, yes. But no, that’s not why I’m so upset.”
“Okay. Is there anything I can do to help? Would you like a drink?”
“No,” Carla said. “But thanks. I think I…” She took in another breath.
Janice waited, quiet.
“We met with Barry Freeman today, you know Grandma’s attorney?”
“Yes, Maurine told me ya’ll were going to go see him.”
“So, you know then?” It would explain her intuitiveness and comforting support.
“Know?”
“About what happened with the will and everything.”
Janice shook her head. “I haven’t spoken to her since this morning.”
She didn’t know. Her kindness and affection were exactly what Carla had been assuming. She was just being her. And had she not been so upset over what had happened that morning, she would’ve taken a moment to really let her amazement of her saturate.
“She—” Carla tried to gather some strength. “Grandma left everything to me. Everything. Her savings, her house, her possessions, the land. All of it.”
Janice squeezed her hand but didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. She would know what her grandmother doing that meant. How it would’ve affected everybody, probably causing a great deal of upset and turmoil.
“I didn’t know,” Carla said, consumed with guilt. “I swear I didn’t know.”
“I know, darlin’.” Janice released her hand and touched her shoulder.
“They’re all so mad. So angry and confused.”
“Ya’ll didn’t talk? Work things through?”
“No, not like we should’ve. Mr. Freeman read the will and it shocked the hell out of all of us. I mean I don’t even think I’d totally made sense of what he’d said before Maurine got up and ran out crying and Rick stood up and accused Mr. Freeman of lying, acting like he was going to attack him. Cole managed to stop him, but then he glared at me and accused me of knowing all along. I tried to tell them I didn’t and that I didn’t know why she’d done this, but they wouldn’t listen. They just gave me the most hurtful and heart-wrenching looks I’ve ever seen. Then they stormed out and I chased after them, but Cole climbed into Maurine’s car with her and wouldn’t even acknowledge me before they sped off. Rick stalked up to me and forced the key to Grandma’s truck into my hand. He had tears in his eyes. He said, ‘At least the truck will be easy for you to take to Arizona. Not so sure about the house and the land. But I’m sure you’ll find a way. She always said you were the smart one.’”
Her chest ached as sobs tried to break free.
Janice sighed and wrapped her arm around her.
“He’s just upset. He didn’t mean it. That man doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, you know that.”
“That’s what hurts me the most. Knowing he would never say something like that. Not to me, or to anyone. That’s how badly he’s hurting and it’s killing me.”
Janice held her tight and wiped the tears from her face with the backs of her fingers.
“I don’t know what to do,” Carla said. “I’m so lost.” She looked at Janice then and her breath caught as she found herself in her eyes. She could see that Janice was holding her, not only there on the couch, but in her mind, wrapping her in her arms.
“You’re not lost,” she said. “You’re right where you need to be, where you’re safe and…loved. Where everything’s going to work itself out and be okay again.”
Janice pulled her into her arms fully, holding her to her chest in a warm, harboring embrace. Carla finally relented and fell completely into her, solaced by the cushion of her breasts and the rhythmic beat of her heart.
Loved.
She’d said loved.
And it’s not scaring me.
It feels good.
She closed her eyes, sleep threatening to wash over her quickly. Just before she let it take her away, she heard Janice whisper one last thing.
“You’re where you belong, right here, with me.”
* * *
Carla absently picked at the warm grass as she sat staring at the rectangle of red dirt marking her grandmother’s grave. She’d come to sit with her, hoping to feel her presence. She had so much to say and so many questions to ask, but all words had left her the second she’d seen the grave. The shock of her grandmother being six feet beneath that ground had left her with nothing but the substantial incumbrance that came with the reality of her death. She’d sat then, too heartbroken to speak, too heartbroken to go. The summer sun had seeped into her skin, causing a burning that she registered but did nothing about. She was there, next to her grandmother, sitting in the grass and soaking up the sun, yet she was so far away that her surroundings and, life itself, seemed to blur. When her cell phone had rung, she didn’t alert or even contemplate who might be calling. She just casually pulled it from her pocket, glanced at the screen, and answered.
Now, after a poor attempt at trying to persuade Nadine to tell her to come home, she had the phone to her ear, only half-listening, because just the opposite was happening. Nadine was trying to convince her to stay in North Carolina.
“I’m telling you everything is fine here,” Nadine said. “How many times do I have to say it?”
Carla threw the grass in her hand aside, frustrated. She’d missed the end of school and it wasn’t yet sitting right with her. She’d known that might happen, but it bothered her, nonetheless. There were, of course, other reasons causing her sudden desire to return home. She’d touched on the will and her family problems with Nadine, but she’d remained close lipped about the other, quickly evolving issue.
“I should’ve finished out the year with my students,” she said. “Like everyone else.”
“Carla, please. You know as well as I do that the last few days are lazy ones. Your substitute did a great job at keeping the kids in line, and you’d already packed up most of your room. And Roseanne was fine with everything. I know you’ve spoken to her.”
Carla wiped the sweat from her brow and squinted into the sunlight despite having on her aviator shades. Roseanne, who was principal of the school, had been nothing but nice and understanding.
“Yes.”
“And?”
“She told me not to worry about anything.”
“See? It would be pointless to rush back at this point. Everything has already been taken care of.”
“I just—need to.”
Nadine was quiet for a few seconds. Then she spoke softly. “I know you’re upset over the problems with the will, Carla, but, hon, you can’t run from it and think you’re going to somehow leave it behind. You’re going to have to take care of it. And trust me, it will be a lot easier doing that there than here. Trying to deal with family and tie up loose ends like that from a different state is difficult, I speak from experience. And, Carla, you know you need to work things out with your family. There. In person. You guys are so close and there is so much love between you, you don’t want to leave things like they are right now.”