Eric turned, giving me a flirty little grin. It didn’t last long, however. “Damn. You’re really sick, aren’t you?”
Joe’s brows drew in. “I said she was.”
“Yeah, just figured it was an excuse she’d made up to stay in town and make you run around jumping through hoops, doing stuff for her. Grovel. You know, make you pay penance?” He shrugged. “Bet Boyd fifty bucks too.”
Without a word, Joe set down one of the cups and smacked his brother upside the head.
“Christ, man!” Eric patted his hair back into place. “Take it easy.”
“Apologize to Alex before I break your fucking neck.”
“Sorry, Alex,” said Eric, becoming less attractive to me by the minute.
“Idiot.” Dark eyes distinctly pissy, Joe turned my way. “You want coffee?”
To think I’d actually imagined Eric might be the man of my dreams. The real Eric had maturity issues, that much was certain. I shook my head and fought my way out from underneath the mountain of blankets he must have piled on me while I slept. Distantly, I could remember waking up at some stage shivering, ice cold, and demanding blankets. Otherwise, I still just had on the thin tank top and my favorite underwear. Bright yellow boy-legs with Little Miss Fucking Sunshine on the front. I only owned about five pairs of them. She was kind of my spirit animal. And to think, Joe had seen me in this glorious getup, sticky with sweat and sick as could be, and he’d still stayed and played nurse. Impressive.
I hadn’t lasted through all of the movie last night, what with being on death’s doorstep. Joe and I hadn’t talked much. But what we did do was laugh at the same lines, exclaim over the same fight scene, and ooh at exactly the same time during the car chase. So our tastes in films were eerily similar, as if that meant anything. I just hadn’t expected to feel quite so comfortable having him around. Early on, all I had noticed was how different he was from the guy I thought I knew. It was disconcerting to start grafting all the things we actually had in common onto this new hunk of manhood.
Anger, hate, and betrayal were harder to hold against Joe Collins than I would have liked. Let’s blame it on the drugs.
No doubt on top of my questionable underwear I also had crazy bed hair, morning breath, and every other unattractive thing you could think of. But the glory of feeling like something a cat barfed up was the complete lack of caring. And let’s face facts, in a day or two’s time, the plague would have either turned me into a zombie or subsided.
Either way, these two men could take me as I came or get the hell out of my hotel room.
Still pouting, Eric threw himself into a chair. “There’s fresh juice in there too. Apple, orange, and whatever else Nell could think of to boost the immune system. Ever since she got pregnant she’s been on this insane mothering bend. Can you believe last night she tried to tell me I drink too much?”
Joe just grunted and dug through the bags in search of the juice. He brought it over to me, taking a seat on the side of the bed with a coffee in hand. “Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t think you’re going anywhere today.”
I nodded glumly, downing two more of the cold and flu tablets before taking a cautious sip. Wow, what eye-watering goodness. Zesty with explosions of ginger and garlic in my mouth. At least I could vaguely taste something. Everything else was blergh. If Nell’s germ-attack juice didn’t kill the evil bugs living in me, nothing would. I plucked some more Kleenex out of the box and blew my nose.
“Actually, Nell’s been riding my ass about a lot of stuff lately.” Eric stared up at the ceiling, all contemplative. “You think she wants me to propose again?”
Joe turned to look at his brother. “E, she tried to punch you in the balls last time you offered her a ring. So, I’m thinking no.”
“Could have just been the baby hormones making her crazy.”
“No, man,” said Joe. “Pretty sure it was you making her crazy.”
With nothing to contribute to the conversation, I kept on sucking down the juice.
The big blond guy turned back to me, taking a sip of his coffee. “Eric accidentally knocked up Nell. She was drunk.”
“Doesn’t mean she didn’t jump me.”
Joe caught my eye and gave a small shake of the head.
“I saw that,” his brother bitched.
Joe winked at me. I couldn’t help but smile back. It was a small, feeble thing, to be sure, but it was there. He obviously hadn’t gone into detail about Eric and this issue in his emails. Guess it got too complicated.
“Started reading one of those baby books you got me. Already proving useful.” Eric grabbed the closest brown paper bag, checking out the contents. “Give me a break, she packed you the triple-choc brownies. Like they have any health benefits.”
“I’ll take one of those.” Joe half rose from the bed, stretching out a hand. His brother handed one over to him. “What about the book?”
“Right.” Eric polished off a brownie in one large bite, holding up a finger, bidding us to wait. “Turns out when the kid’s born this stuff similar to black tar from hell comes out of its butt for the first few days.”
“Huh.”
Bile rose in the back of my throat. The flu of doom was no time to be talking baby poop.
“What I’m thinking is, right after the birth I fake a cold, like what Alex has,” said Eric. “That way, it’s not safe for me to be around the kid, right? Wouldn’t want to pass on germs to the new baby. Nell will totally fall for it.”
Joe stopped, frowned.
“Genius, no?” asked Eric.
“No,” said his bearded brother.
“What?” Eric laughed. “As if you’d change diapers with that in them. It sounds fucking terrifying.”
With a heavy sigh, Joe rubbed at his forehead. “Christ, bro. Man-up, already.”
“Please. You would not change that diaper.”
“I would change the damn diaper.”
“You’re just saying that because she’s here.” Eric pointed at me.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
If I could have spoken, I’d have told the idiot to leave me out of it. Alas, the best I could manage was a dubious look.
“No,” said Joe, being painstakingly clear. “I’m saying I’d change the nasty diaper because that baby is half mine and its mom deserves my backing. Get it? Does that make any sense to you at all?”
Mumbled profanity.
“Well?”
“Yeah. All right.” Eric slumped down in his chair, mouth lined with worry. “And don’t call it it. That’s really uncool.”
No response to his brother’s mini-rant. Joe just drank more of his coffee.
Suddenly, Eric was up and out of here. “I got to go. Later.”
“Later.”
I waved as he closed the door.
“He’s actually doing better than he was,” mumbled Joe, turning to look at me. “Spent the first few days after she told him about the baby pretty much hiding under a shrub out in the yard with a bottle of single malt. Wouldn’t even speak. Didn’t think he’d manage to open one of the books, let alone read some of it. For a guy who never planned on getting married and having kids, it’s a start.”