Visibly sagging, the man commenced muttering obscenities.
Over on the bed, I could hold it in no longer and proceeded to almost piss myself laughing. Valerie was the best. The absolute best.
“Oh, you’re awake,” he said, pushing the long wet strands of his golden hair back from his face. “I just had a little chat with your friend Valerie. Your phone kept ringing so I thought I better answer or it would wake you up.”
I giggled on.
“Enjoy that, did you?”
I nodded.
“Great. I’m glad. Anyway, hope you don’t mind. The heating at Nell’s place is acting up and they can’t fix it until tomorrow. I told her she could have my room for the night and I’d crash here again,” he said. “If that’s okay with you?”
I shrugged, kind of caught out.
“You’re looking a little better, got some color back in your cheeks.”
Given how little the man was wearing, that did not surprise me at all.
His shoulders were broad, as befitting a man of his stature. His arms were muscular and his nipples were brown. Both of them. I didn’t want to take in all of these details, but what with him standing nearly naked right there, I was forced to. Wise or not, my ovaries had seized control and they wanted to make big strong babies with the man, pronto. Common sense never stood a chance.
“You don’t mind that I helped myself to a shower, do you?” he asked. “Eric wanted to go for a run after work. I was already covered in sawdust so the sweat just made it even worse. We had a hell of a busy day. Dad’s hands were playing up on him so he couldn’t work, but he’d booked in all these jobs.”
“You couldn’t use your own shower?” I asked, voice sounding only a little rusty. And oh, good God. Now that he was full-on facing me, it was the bulge below his waist that was really the issue.
Not my type. The man was not my type, no matter how fascinating I apparently found his body. Once I got back to Seattle, I really needed to get laid.
“Hey, great. You got your voice back.” He smiled. “Eric was in the shower and I didn’t want to wait around any longer. I was worried about how you were doing. Plus, the water heater isn’t that big and I wanted to leave some hot water for Nell.”
“Right.” I took a soothing deep breath, pretending to swallow his obvious lies. As pickup lines went, Joe’s needed work. I blew my nose. “Um, no problem. But would you mind putting a towel on? Or pants, maybe? Pants would be good.”
He laughed, making bits of me quiver. Bits that frankly should have known better.
“Alex, this is a towel.”
“Ah. No, it’s not.”
“It is. See?” The man held out his arms, modeling the freakishly small piece of white cloth.
“No, no.” I pressed my lips together tight, anger and aggravation growing in me by the second. “That’s like a hand towel. Christ, I’m not even sure it’s that. It’s probably more of a glorified face cloth you’ve stretched somehow.”
Chuckling, he shook his head. “Alex—”
“Hell, I can almost see some of the essentials. That’s ridiculous.”
“Yeah, but you’re half hanging off the bed to take in the show.”
“Oh, I am not. I just had to cough.” I forced out a fake cough or two, holding my fist up to my mouth. We were in the friend zone, goddamnit. No perving allowed. Still, I could feel my face flushing, my nipples getting perky.
“Alex, relax. I saw you in your underwear. Now you’ve seen me in a towel. Why are you getting so worked up about this?” Hands on slim hips, his tongue played behind his cheek. Like stringing me out like this was all highly fucking amusing. Asshole. Hell, he even had a little golden treasure trail. A scattering of hair starting at the belly button and leading downward. My fingers wanted to follow the trail so badly. They basically itched, the little bastards.
“Look, it’s okay. I know what you’re doing,” I said, my croaky voice thick with recrimination. “But I just don’t think it’s a good idea between us.”
“What am I doing?”
“We should only be just friends,” I stated. “And this goes a bit beyond that.”
“Friends don’t let each other use their showers occasionally?”
“Friends don’t strut around showing off their assets.” I did not giggle nervously. That was someone else. God, what an awkward situation. “I could see less skin at a strip joint!”
“Fuck me,” he muttered, smiling.
“Normally I might be open to the idea of doing that,” I said. “Just the once, mind you—for fun or to get it out of our system or whatever. But this situation is a freaking mess. I’ve already been hurt by you. Emotions were involved despite my better judgment. Having sex with you now, even as friends, would just be stupid.”
He looked at me all wide of eye and said very slowly, “You want to have sex with me?”
Everything stopped. Every little last fucking thing.
“Alex?”
“I, um…” Over and over my jaw worked, yet nothing came out. Total panic stations. My brain had blanked, most likely fleeing the room. “I think maybe I’m a little high on the cold and flu meds. Yeah, that sounds about right?”
He just gave me another serving of that questioning look.
“No. No, I definitely don’t want to do anything naked with you.”
He blinked.
“You thought about having sex with me, though?”
“What?” I faux cringed.
“But you said—”
“Forget about what I said. And stop saying sex.”
Joe just stared at me.
“I thought you were trying to start something. I mean, you can’t blame me for thinking this is a setup.” Curling my feet up beneath me I leaned forward, ready to attack. Or defend. Or something. “Somethings wrong with Nell’s heat, seriously?”
He grabbed the back of his neck. “Shit. Alex, it’s okay. No need to be embarrassed.”
“And Eric was in the shower? That story is so lame, it’s like something out of a bad porn film. You might as well tell me you’re the pool boy,” I said, packing in all the scorn I could manage. “I’m not your type, remember? Then you come over here, parading yourself in front of me like some lumbersexual gigolo. So that yet again I get led on and wind up looking like a complete idiot! What kind of sadistic near-naked asshole are you?”
“I’m not playing games or something, okay?” The man hung his head, slowly shaking it. “Let me clear this up right now.”
Without another word, Joe picked up his cell phone off the table.
“Hey Nell,” he said into the phone. “Alex just wanted to ask you something.”
Circumventing the bed, he pressed the cell directly into my reluctant hand.
“Hello,” I said cautiously.
“Alex! Great to talk to you,” said a friendly feminine voice. “How are you doing? You’re still sounding a bit off.”
“Ah, yeah. Getting better, though.”
“Good. Glad to hear it. Listen, if it’s not okay for Joe to hang with you tonight just say so. I can always go to my brother’s place. It’s just that they were planning some fancy date-night thing, you know?”