“You booked your flight?”
“Yes.”
The man nodded then scratched at his beardy chin.
“Did I cover everything?” My heart was racing, my head spinning in circles. “I’m not sure there’s a set etiquette for this situation. You lied to me about who you were on the Internet, but you also nursed me through a gross dose of the flu. To a certain extent they balance each other out. But not completely.”
“Hmm.”
“Not that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the past few days. You’ve been amazing, being there for me and everything,” I said. “I get that it could be confusing because there’s been this certain intimacy established. I mean, hell, you’ve even seen me in my underwear.”
“Not sure that counts since you were sick at the time.” He frowned. “And you saw me in a towel.”
“Yes, I did.” And oh God, the memory. Such clarity and detail. I could almost give you a map regarding the muscles of his thighs, the strength in his calves, and the impressive bulge under that fucking towel. The number of little golden hairs on his bare, naked toes even. You’d think I had a photographic memory. My mind hadn’t forgotten a thing when it came to Joe Collins hot, wet, and mostly naked.
What a stupid subject to have raised. Intimacy. Underwear. All of these words were bad. This was what happened when my mouth started moving. The most unwise shit came out. Thank God I had on a T-shirt bra with a little padding. Any hardening of nipples remained mostly unnoticeable. However, the warmth in my face might be an issue. Wonder if I could pass it off as another fever?
Sitting preternaturally still, Joe was watching me like his life depended on it. God. The scrutiny made me sweat.
“Anyhoo, moving on.” I scrambled across the bed for a Kleenex, taking my time blowing my nose. “This is who I normally am. Jeans and a T-shirt. Valerie did the hair and makeup the other night. That’s her job, she’s a makeup artist. And my sexy dress and heels were a total ruse.”
He said nothing. At least the Thumper foot had stopped beating.
“Disappointing, huh?”
“No.”
I waited. He said no more. Awesome. He was back to using words sparingly. I was doomed.
The sunset had wound down to indigo and gray. A little lavender, maybe. High up above it all, a star twinkled.
Out of nowhere, he said, “I’m really glad you’re still here. Even if it is for only one more night.”
It took a moment for me to manage a smile. “Thanks. I mean, in all honesty, this situation, us emailing all the time, it was never going anywhere. We both have family and friends, established lives in different states. Long-distance relationships don’t work even if we were into each other in that way. Which we’re not. But … why would you even bother?”
“That part of the reason you were interested in Eric in the first place?” he asked.
A question far too canny for my comfort. I was Bambi frozen in headlights. Just waiting for the semi-trailer to mow my fluffy ass on down.
“Alex?” he asked. “Is it? He was a safe person to be interested in, right? He might come to town but he’d leave again too. Didn’t require you moving far out of your comfort zone.”
“True.” Wow, the man really had me figured. Though I guess I had given him all of the ammunition.
A nod from him.
Christ, I should never have gotten caught up in Val’s excitement and come to Coeur d’Alene. It would have been kinder to both Joe and me. Then I would have had his emails for a little longer. The thrill of receiving them. The sense of hope at finding a kindred spirit, of not being quite so alone.
Hold up. I liked alone. Alone was easy and exactly what I wanted, wasn’t it? Shit. There were no easy answers in my head anymore. No certainty at all.
Soon as I got back to Seattle I was resetting my dating profile to local matches only. Who knows, maybe I’d stop messing around and actually attempt a real relationship instead of just bumping hips with someone now and then. Stranger things had happened. Perhaps I could change after all.
“You hungry?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. “I went for a walk earlier. There were a few places down the road that looked nice.”
“I’ve got somewhere in mind. Put your shoes and coat on, please, Little Miss Fucking Sunshine.” He clapped his hands together, rubbing them. “We’re getting out of here.”
“On it.” I fell upon my boots, shoving in my feet at lightning speed. What Valerie would have paid to see me actually rushing to get outside. My mild agoraphobia thingy was on hold. And to think it had only taken a small dose of the black plague and a couple of days trapped in a soulless hotel room.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Message sent three months ago:
Hi Eric,
You’ll be pleased to know I left my apartment today. It was my dad’s birthday. Ever since I was little, mom, dad, and I always go down to Pike Place to see the guys at the fish market do their thing throwing the fish around. It’s pretty cool to see. We go buy salmon to cook for dad. It’s the family tradition. My friend Valerie and her partner also came. It was busy as always at the market, but a lot of fun. My folks even managed to play nice with each other.
Valerie is a stylist and make-up artist. We pretty much grew up together so she’s basically family too. Neither of us were exactly part of the cool kid crowd at school. She’s a trans woman and had it rough for a long time, way worse than me getting my ponytail pulled and crap like that. Kids can be incredibly horrible to each other. But then I guess grown-ups can be too. All of the shit going on in politics at the moment makes me despair.
Ugh. Excuse my bad mood. I think I need to eat some ice cream or something. Anyway, work is busy. Lots of interesting projects. How are things going with you? What have you been up to this week?
A x
Message received three months ago:
What’s your poison? I’m a mint choc-chip man, myself.
Message sent three months ago:
Mint? No. NO. Mint is the devil’s work. I’m a chocolate chip cookie dough woman to the end.
Message received three months ago:
Haha. Of course you are. And I’m going to ignore you misunderstanding mint. It just means we’ll never have to share the ice cream. Probably for the best. Good to hear you had a nice time with your family and Valerie. Pike Place Markets are cool. I haven’t been there in ages.
Spent a few days with an old school friend named Pat. I might have mentioned some good friends have been going through a divorce. Pat’s been having a rough time with it so we went camping. Built fires. Drank bourbon. Hugged trees and beat our manly chests. That sort of thing. It was good to get away for a bit.
I’m sorry to hear you and Valerie had a tough time in school. Kids can be cruel. I was never exactly one of the cool kids either. Of course my brother was. He loved showing off about all his girlfriends and generally being a little shit. But I had my growth spurt early so no one else tended to mess with me.
If anyone pulls on your ponytail who shouldn’t be, you let me know. I’ll come teach them some manners.
Eric
“Maybe I should head back to the hotel,” I said.