“What the fuck!”
“What type of music is that?” He pointed to my Bluetooth speaker that was at the entrance of my garage.
I chuckled and shook my head. If he knew the truth I’m sure he’d be dramatic like his ears were bleeding. “Why do you ask? You don’t like it?”
“Actually, I do. It’s kinda sexy. Like some erotic jazz or something. Who’s the artist?” He pulled his phone out ready to download it.
“I can’t share that with you.” It was so hard to keep a straight face.
“Why not? I can play this when I’m with the ladies at the condo.”
“JD, trust me, you don’t want to know.”
“Amell, tell me. It sounds like a woman crying and moaning but chopped and screwed.” He was close, very close.
“That’s because it is.” I laughed watching his eyes widen.
“Aye, you into that recording shit like Cassian?” I didn’t miss the twinkle of curiosity like he wanted to try it.
“First of all, don’t ever record yourself having sex. I don’t care if the girl agrees to it. That’s called child pornography for your age group, Jeremy.” That’s the last thing I needed. I’m sure he’d have a big ego if he ended up on the Shade Room or WorldStar.
“Man, just tell me the artist.”
“The artist is Krishna. It’s her crying and moaning. That’s the sound she makes when I’m deep in her guts. A friend of mind mixed it to sound a little different. I listen to it when I want to relax.” My personal album. Her erotic sounds and cries were my Beethoven. JD was the first I ever admitted that to. I rarely played it when others were around, but I forgot to turn it off when they came over. “Y’all are super addicted to each other. Relationship goals.”
The only goals we were, were our own. “JD, I’ll be out of town for a few days.” I scratched my head watching sadness cover his face. Seeing that made me start to worry about what this kid was hiding from me. “Do you have your key to the condo?”
With his chin touching his chest, he answered in the most crestfallen voice I ever heard come from him. “Yes sir.”
“Stay there until I come back. I’ll call your grandmother and tell her that you’re with me.”
“Can I?” His eyes pleaded.
“Can you what?”
“Can I go with you? Before you say no, I already know that you’re going to see Krishna.” I glared over at him, making him chuckle. “Amell, your forehead is doing that ugly creasing thing that happens when she pisses you off. I promise to stay out of your way. I’ll even schedule a college tour at UCLA. Please.”
Krishna seeing JD would make her happy, and he might open up to her about what’s been bothering him.
“Fine, but if you pull a disappearing act, I’m going to beat your ass and then shoot you, Jeremy Davis Jr. Do you understand me?”
Jumping out the car he shouted. “I’m going to Cali.”
Chapter 10
Krishna
Tonight, Keith and I were going on date number two. We had such a great time at the comedy show that I accepted his offer for another date the following weekend. Used him as my excuse to get out of meeting my uncle’s new girlfriend. We were going to see the art shows down at Santa Monica Pier, grab something to eat from one of the food trucks, and just enjoy each other’s company. At first, I was apprehensive about letting him into my world. Mainly entertaining him knowing damn well that I was sorta involved with Amell.
Were we together?
Yes.
Had it been said verbally that we were together?
In more ways than actually saying yes.
Amell’s way of stating our status went along the lines of ‘you’re mine and I’m yours’. However, we never referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean he made it his business to come out to Cali at least once a month or fly me somewhere in between here and Florida.
Keith gave me attention that Amell hadn’t been giving me lately. Quite frankly I’ve grown tired of lying to my parents about the man in my life. To them I’m a damn lesbian who’s afraid to come out the closet. So far from the truth but how could I blame them when I’m a grown ass woman in her thirties and I can’t confess that I’m in love because our relationship is a secret. Sad.
“Wow. You look really nice. I’m not sure I want to share you with the rest of the world tonight.” Keith’s compliment earned him a blush. “It took me too long to get dressed. We’re going out.” I have an addiction.
I love living on the edge. Testing my limits. But I only do this with Amell. No one else.
We were approaching week three of no communication. The negro didn’t even have the decency to send a quick text asking if I’m alive. Usually, back when Noelani was living in Fort Lauderdale, I could call and ask her to be my ears and eyes. Now I had no one and that drove me crazy.
The weather tonight called for me to pull out one of my little black skater dresses, a light blue bleached ripped jean jacket, and wedges. Funky but sexy. My hair was wild and crazy thanks to the natural hair gods who gave me favor with my twist out. I smelled good. I looked good.
All for Amell.
David thought his ass was slick, but I caught him taking pictures of Keith and I on our first date. What reason would he have for taking pictures if it weren’t to send them to someone who asked for them? The only person I knew that to be was my stubborn ass man, Amell. My whole outfit, the hair and matte red lipstick. Entertaining Keith in the first place and wearing Daisy by Marc Jacobs. It all served a purpose and that purpose was to get Amell’s attention.
I’m tired of being in the shadows. We’ve been going around the same ride for six years. I want more. I need more. My parents were going to have to handle the truth because I wanted kids. My biological clock is ticking and if my mother asks to hook me up with some deacon of her church I’m going to scream.
Short and simple Amell needed a wakeup call. He needed to see that what he wouldn’t do, what he wouldn’t appreciate, another man would.
And the person to help me deliver such an impactful message just so happened to be Keith.
While he drove, I listened intently to all the things he said and the things he didn’t say. On paper Keith is the perfect standup guy. Family oriented. Has a love for his community and kids. A man of God and an all-around good guy, but like many of us he had flaws. Flaws and a sick abusive streak. A super control freak.
“Thank you for listening when I mentioned wearing a black dress. It really looks good on you. Here, let’s order some food and continue walking the pier.” He always covered his underlying issue with a pretty boy smile.
Before I entertained Keith and his persistent ways, I ignored him. Thought the everyday questioning was cute instead of paying attention to the fact he hated rejection. Maybe it’s a trait learned from my father but once I let you in my space, I started paying closer attention to you than you probably thought. For instance, when he called and asked if I wanted to come down to Santa Monica for the day, right after I accepted his invitation he slid in the fact that he’d like for me to wear a black dress that showed my legs.