“I’m not sure. He’s kept her hidden for so long.”
Regardless of what’s transpiring between me and Krishna I’ll always be devoted to her happiness. Long before we became one flesh, I showed her intimacy without knowing the depth of what began to tie us together that night on her balcony.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” She questioned with blushing cheeks.
I smiled with her because she was my smile. A heart-stopping conviction of God’s love for me. She’s light on my darkest day.
“Do you know how much I love you?” Pulling her chair between my legs, I leaned over until our lips touched.
“No. Tell me.” She bit her lip.
“I love you from here.” Taking her hand, I placed it on the center of my chest. When I felt her start to shudder, I kissed her calm. “Do you know where you’re touching?” She shook her head, blinking back tears. “I love beyond my heart. I love you from my soul. The space where only you and God abide.” “Amell.” Her voice echoed broken words.
All the undivided attention she’s giving me I need it to breathe. I needed to know that she still wanted me.
“Can JD stay with me while you’re gone? Please. He can shadow me at work.” That actually sounded like a great idea. Maybe she’d be able to get in JD’s head and find out what’s going on with him. “That’s fine.”
“Where is he anyway?”
“He’s at UCLA taking a tour. He’ll be by later.”
“Wanna go to the store with me? I need to pick up a few things to make dinner.” She bit her lower lip waiting for my answer.
“Why can’t you Instacart like regular millennials?”
She giggled covering her mouth. “Hell no. I’m not comfortable with other people picking out my vegetables and fruit. I’ll go and take David with me. Is that cool with you?”
I had no other choice but to be cool about it.
Watching her eyes struggle with several different emotions, my chest became uncomfortably tight. We never went out in public. Never. Our time together was spent inside watching movies, eating, and draining each other dry. I’m not sure if Krishna knew of the lingering threat on her life and I refused to be the one to test the limits. Just because her aim made her hang with the best of my snipers, that’s not a chance I’m willing to take.
“Hurry back to me.” I leaned over and kissed her pouting lips.
“Yes, my King.”
Chapter 11
Krishna
Like all couples, we fought and made up. After I said what I wanted to say, cried until my soul cleansed, I stretched out my tongue and tasted my favorite brandy. Those piercing menacing onyx eyes, cold, lustful as they stabbed me in the heart. Pleasing him pleased me.
Right when he coated my throat with his herbal tea, JD came over and brightened my day. We spent the rest of the day talking, playing spades, and ordering a bunch of food. Amell walked JD down the street to the condo once night fell. I greeted him at the door in nothing but red bottom heels. I danced for him. Became his naughty, freaky girl.
Pleased him to exertion. Drained him to prunes.
When he went back to Florida, he’d have nothing to give to another if the opportunity presented itself.
Three hours before he and JD left, I stood with a heavy heart watching him pack his bag. A weekend, that’s all I was granted. All I ever got. Weekends and maybe half of a week. I wanted one last taste of him. One last drip of his flavor. What I had done that morning caused much embarrassment after the fact, but in the moment, my obsession showed.
David had done me a favor. I had been sitting on my hands swaying back and forth watching him move around my room. His bags were almost packed. Seats were already checked in. Driver waiting downstairs. When David called for Amell I took the opportunity to go into my bathroom. On my counter sat his toiletry bag with his toothbrush sticking out.
Eyeing the grey and blue bristled object my mouth watered. Hands itched to grab it, so I did. Only God knew when the next time would be when I’d see him again, and right now I had a strong yearn to feel a slither of him in my mouth. To taste the ingredients that made him Amell. It was the closest thing to tasting him in my mouth, so I brushed my teeth with his brush.
Halfway done I got this feeling of being watched. Opening my eyes and looking in the mirror, there he was watching me with eyes full of flames. A beastly, savage hunger. His chest heaved, not from me doing something so…outlandish and shameful, but from restraining himself from taking me right then and there. I knew the look. Had memorized it.
I knew it all to be true because I mirrored the same hunger and desire too.
They barely made it to the airport after he took me in the bathroom on the counter. I welcomed his rough and savage strokes. I welcomed the quick pace and vocal ranges of his satisfaction. My lover left me wanton and satisfied.
“I feel so bad for Noelani. That poor girl has been through hell and back. Then that damn Cassian has been such a pain in the ass. Anyway, are you excited to see your bestie?” My mom and I were in my room making sure I had everything for my trip…home. Trip to Florida.
For her birthday I got us tickets to see Beyoncé at Coachella. We spent the week enjoying the California sun, danced and sang the nights away. Over the years we grew closer and closer together. Bonding as women. I loved my mom. I loved my father, who had become a second-best friend to me over the years. When I had issues with Amell or times I struggled on how to figure him out, I called my dad and asked hypothetical questions. He never questioned who the man was and gave me sound advice.
“I have a nephew to love on and spoil. There’s so much she and I need to catch up on.” When Amell called and told me that Noelani and Cashton were on their way back to Florida and staying at his house I screamed. My best friend was back.
“It will be good times between you two. You can catch up on everything especially all this lingerie you plan on wearing.” If the ground opened and swallowed me up, I’d rather deal with than stand in embarrassment as my mother amusedly inspected my lace panties sets.
All Amell’s favorites of course.
“Ma, stop playing with my delicates.”
“I’m just trying to find a tag so I can see where you got them from. Your father would really like these in red.”
“Ma!” I screeched not wanting to hear anything about my mother wearing crotchless panties and a see-through bra for my father.
“What?” She giggled. “We still get it on, girl.” The thought of them getting it on made me want to gag.
What if I told her about Amell? What if I told her that I had been in love with him all this time?”
Making sure there was a good enough distance between us on my bed, I confessed. “Mom, I’m in love.”
She placed my lingerie back in my bag and smiled at me. “Well, that’s nice to know. How long have you been in love with this man?” She leaned over to whisper, “It is a man, right?”
I fell back on my bed so amused with her theory that I was a lowkey lesbo. “Clover Kalmin, for the last time I am not a carpet burner, and I’ve been in love with this man since I was sixteen years old.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I know it’s not that fella who cheated on you in college, is it?”