She nods toward a row of cabinets. “All the liquor is up there, and this fridge is stocked with beer and other goodies.” She taps the front of it, and then we leave the food room and head toward the stairs. “As for sleeping, you get your pick of bedrooms, so grab your bag and choose whichever you want. There are only six bedrooms and ten contestants, so several of you will have to share. Since you’re here first, you get to decide if you want to share or if you want your own space.”
That seems like a no-brainer. Let’s see...share with a stranger who’s potentially a snorer or a talker or an asshole—or I could have my own room?
“I’d love my own space,” I say, really the first words I’ve spoken since I walked into this house. Kat has been so busy babbling on about everything I’m never going to remember that I haven’t had a chance to get a word in.
“Have at it. Meet me back in the family room in a few minutes so we can go over the rest of my talking points. Oh, and just so you know, every room except the bathroom has cameras that will capture your every move. I feel it’s important to let you know, and that includes bedrooms.”
“Thanks,” I murmur, and then I head up the stairs.
I turn right, look into a couple rooms, and choose the first one I find that has one single king bed and an attached bathroom. I have no idea if the others have large beds or en-suite bathrooms, but I grab this one without any fucks to give if someone else wants it.
Why? My motto rushes through my mind again.
Because I’m not here to make friends.
I meet Kat back downstairs, and a hush falls over the producers when I walk back into the room.
“He’s back,” she says with a bright smile. “Next up is the use of the house. We have a few computers and printers you’re welcome to use if you feel the need to type or write lyrics or whatever, but they are not connected to the internet. There’s a bunch of random photos on there, though, if you need to look at something different for inspiration. You’ll find several televisions and radios, but your only access will be to music. Different music channels, different playlists, with hundreds of thousands of options.”
“I love how that will allow our entire focus to be on music and this competition,” I say.
Kat smiles, as do the other producers. “One more thing, Gage. Just be yourself. Don’t feel like you need to say that’s a great thing if you’re pissed you won’t be able to watch football or if you think it sucks we took your phone away.”
I laugh. “I gotta be honest with you. I love football, but I’ll be okay.”
All the producers laugh, and Kat continues. “You’re welcome to use the beach so long as you stay within the designated areas so all movement can be captured on camera, and you can go anywhere in the house you want, barring one locked room that is the producers’ office area. An intercom system is set up throughout the house and you’ll need to listen for instructions through that. We could be calling you for a confessional or for a challenge, or we could just be letting you know it’s time for dinner. Any questions?”
I shake my head.
“Okay, so the last thing I need to be fairly general about, but there are ten contestants from all over the US with varying degrees of talent and experience playing bass. There will be several competitions to test different aspects of both your musical ability and versatility as well as your personality and how you’ll mesh with the MFB boys. Do your best, fight for your spot, and know that you’re only here because someone thought you deserved to be.”
The bell rings, and my heart hammers.
The male producer who isn’t Ben stands, but hell if I remember his name. “That’s my first bassist,” he says, and he heads toward the door.
I wonder who the new arrival is. I wonder if I’ve ever heard of him or if he’s just some random guy off the streets like me. I wonder what he looks like and whether he’ll be my competition for the ladies’ hearts on television or whether I’ll win them over with my charm.
I’ll get to find out eventually...but apparently not right now.
“It’s time for your first confessional,” Kat says, and she stands and ushers me over toward a door we skipped past earlier before I get a chance to meet the next contestant.
CHAPTER 19: LEXI
Unknown Number: Thanks for the best weekend of my life. Neither of us is in a position to make this work right now, but there may come a time when we will be. I’ll hold our memories of this weekend close until that time comes.
It’s waiting there for me when I get out of the shower.
I took a long, hot shower where I allowed myself to just feel for a long time—and also where I let the scalding hot water run over my very sore body.
I don’t know if I’ve ever been this sore, but I also don’t know if I’ve ever had a weekend of sex like I just had.
I debate what to say back...if anything.
I need to talk it out with someone because that’s just what I do...but the person I’d typically turn to for a chat is Danny. He’s out since he felt the need to keep me in Nashville by confessing his feelings before I jetted out the door.
So I’m stuck with my thoughts.
I feel suddenly very alone. More alone than I’ve ever felt, maybe. I don’t have anyone to talk about what just happened, and so I’m internalizing my feelings rather than finding an outlet for them.
But it’s only going to get worse over the next month. It’s not like one of the guys I’m competing against will be chomping at the bit to discuss the fling I just had.
I don’t even want to discuss it. For sure that’s something that’ll make headlines when the show airs, and I’m a little more private when it comes to my sex life.
Okay, a lot more private. I may be twenty-five, but I still don’t want my parents to know I have sex. It’s just...gross.
It takes me longer than usual to get ready. I want to look perfect when I meet the other contestants today. I wonder if there will be other women there or if I’ll be the only one. I wonder a lot of things, actually, but I’ll find out in a few hours. My ride is set to pick me up at four o’clock, and then I’ll be on my way to whatever fate has in store for me.
In a typical situation like this, I’m sure I’d be wondering whether any of the male contestants involved would be attractive or whether I’d feel a spark there.
But I won’t.
Not when I’ll be grieving the loss of what happened this weekend as I embark on what’s surely the adventure of a lifetime.
It’s okay, though.
It’ll force my focus where it needs to be rather than on silly distractions. I welcome that challenge with open arms because I don’t want to spend another second in the valley of sadness where I’ve found myself since I walked out of his hotel room.
It’s all so silly.
I try to remind myself that I only knew him for two days. I couldn’t have fallen in love with him in that short of a time span.
But he texted me back. He felt it, too.
It was real.
I order some food from room service. I pick at it, finding that I’m not very hungry between the heartbreak of a few hours and the nerves for what’s to come.