I feel very stuck.
But soon, one of us will be on our way to superstardom while the other will head home empty handed.
My heart aches once more at the very thought of it.
And all I can do is wallow in the ache.
The day drags, made worse by the hangover I stupidly brought upon myself.
I find Lexi in the kitchen after my shower, and a glare followed by a quick exit from the room tells me I must’ve said something dumb last night.
I wish I could remember. I guess I’ll find out when the show airs.
She seems to spend her day avoiding me. I spend my day on the patio. I found a book on the top shelf of one of the closets, some murder mystery, so I sit outside and alternate between sleeping and reading.
I go to bed without having uttered a word to her the entire day, which hurts considering it’s our last day together.
God, how different things could have been if we would’ve just let it.
But we didn’t.
When I wake up the next morning, a strange sense of doom washes over me. It’s an ominous feeling, one that leaves me feeling a little on edge.
Tonight’s the night.
I pack my bag, which takes all of five minutes. Whatever happens today, I’m done in this house. Tonight might be my last night...or maybe when I’m announced as the winner, I’ll be whisked away to some induction ceremony as the newest member of the band.
Or maybe she’s the one who’ll be whisked away and I’ll come back to this house to spend my last night in it alone.
I don’t know what today has in store. I don’t know when we need to be ready or who will win or how we’ll find out. I don’t know what life will be like when I don’t get to be with her every day.
But I do know that whatever happens, whatever change comes our way because of it...it has to be better than spending the day avoiding each other.
“All contestants please meet in the family room in ten minutes,” Camille’s voice booms through the speaker in my bedroom.
I head downstairs and find Lexi already on the couch. Camille, Kat, Ben, and Miles stand where the MFB guys usually do.
Camille takes the lead. “As you both know, today we will be filming the final episode of The Replacement War. We’ll leave here in two hours, and we’ll be heading to the Ashmark practice facility. You’ll each have a little time on the stage to practice a song, and you’ll each play one final song with MFB before Dax announces the winner. We ask that whoever is not chosen politely hugs the winner and then bows off the stage to allow the winner time in the spotlight to celebrate with the band. The winner will head to the afterparty at James McKinney’s bar with the band, and whoever doesn’t win will attend the afterparty with the other contestants who didn’t make it to the finals.”
“All eight of them?” Lexi asks.
Camille’s eyes dart to her. “Yes. You can use the time until then to grab lunch and get ready for the finale. We’ll do confessionals at the practice facility both before and after the winner is announced. Pack your bags because either way, you’ll be checking out of here tomorrow by noon. Congratulations for making it this far, and best of luck to you both.”
The four assistant producers leave the room, and Lexi jumps up to follow them so we’re not forced to be alone together.
But I want to be alone with her.
“Nashville?” I say softly.
She stops and turns with a little glare, her hands on her hips.
“What changed?” I ask.
Her brows dip. “What do you mean?”
“I mean...we seemed to have a breakthrough the other day when we each admitted we weren’t ready to move forward with other people because of what we shared. And now you refuse to be alone in a room with me. You avoided me all day yesterday. I just...I guess I’m at a loss, and the last thing I want to do is leave here with anything at all unsaid.”
She heaves in a breath. “I’m just focused on the end of this competition.”
“Is that really all?”
Her eyes soften when they land on mine. “I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
She flicks her gaze to the window. “Of not winning. Of winning. Of not seeing you every day.”
I stand and walk a few steps toward her, and her eyes follow me until I’m close enough to touch her. “How did we get here?”
“We beat the pants off our competitors.”
I chuckle, and then I shake my head. “No. I mean how did we get here?” I motion between the two of us.
“We made mistakes and we said hurtful things and we held onto our stubbornness for far too long.”
“How do you really feel about me?” I press because I fucking meant it when I said I didn’t want to leave here with things unsaid.
She looks a little taken aback by my question, and she doesn’t answer. Her hand flies to her chest. “I, uh...”
I love you, Lexi Weber. I fell in love with you when you were nearly naked on a massage table beside me, and I’ve only fallen harder and harder for you since that moment. I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve said stupid things, and if I could take them all back, I would.
I try to say the words. I even open my mouth, but they don’t come out.
I nod and press my lips together. I take a step back, and then another.
If I say it now, it’ll just look like I’m trying to distract her from the finale tonight...and I refuse to do that. She deserves to go into whatever’s about to happen free and clear of me.
“Maybe in another life, this could’ve worked. Like you said, though, we both made too many mistakes.” I shake my head a little sadly. “Good luck tonight.”
She stares at me for a long beat before she nods. “Good luck to you, too.” And then she walks out of the room, leaving me behind.
CHAPTER 52: LEXI
We’ve each played our final song with the band.
On one side of the stage stands the eight contestants who’ve already been cast off.
On the other stands the four members of MFB along with their wives and fiancées.
And in the middle stand Gage and me.
He turns and looks at me, and then he grabs my hand.
And when he does...something lights in my chest.
It’s something contestants always do on these shows. It’s a sign of solidarity, something to show that no matter what happens, we’re happy for the other one. But when he links his fingers through mine, it means just a little more.
My heart squeezes.
And suddenly, none of this matters. Dax is about to announce the winner, but I don’t know if that matters as much as me telling Gage the thing I need to say.
All because he grabbed my hand.
I turn to look at him, and he’s already gazing down at me.
The audience filled with executives and fans is currently screaming since Dax just said he’s about to announce the winner, and it’s deafening even from up here. But that just means that whatever I say now is just between the two of us.
I offer a smile, and then I draw in a deep breath and lean over. “You asked me earlier how I feel about you. I love you, Motley Crue. I love you so much.”
He looks momentarily shocked by my revelation, which makes sense given the fact that I’ve been pretty standoffish over the last few days...weeks, even.