The moment my palm connects with her skin, the agony begins to evaporate, and a calmness takes over. The coil in my chest releases and my shoulders shudder violently as I release the pent-up tension from trying to hold myself together. I start to breathe easy again.
My palm slides along her forearm until I reach her hand where it’s gripping my shoulder. I pry her fingers off. She tenses, and I know it’s because she thinks I’m going to push her away again. Stunning us both, I thread our fingers together and press our hands tighter against my shoulder.
The two of us sit silently in Elias’s kitchen for God knows how long. When my heartbeat returns to normal, I realize I should let her go and get out of here. Instead, I nuzzle my beard along her arm, and when she doesn’t pull away, I bring our entwined hands to my lips.
She doesn’t flinch when I press my mouth to the back of her hand, but her soft intake of breath sounds in my ear. It’s breathy and whispery, and fuck it all, the sensation echoes right in my dick.
“Hey, you all right?” The moment splinters with Elias’s question, the sound of his footsteps confirming he’s joined us in the kitchen.
“Yeah,” I grunt. With one last squeeze, I release Shelby’s hand. She steps back to give me room to stand. I snag my bag of clothes that I dropped and hike it over my shoulder.
Elias’s eyes narrow, but he doesn’t question further. “Going somewhere?” He nods toward my bag of clothes.
“Gettin’ outta your space is all.”
“You’re welcome to stay.”
“I know. I’m good goin’ home.” I hold my voice steady. I keep my eyes locked on Elias’s even though they’re burning to see if Shelby has a reaction to that. I don’t know what it says about me that I want her to have a reaction. I do, though. I want her to ask me to stay.
He nods in understanding.
“Let me know if you two need anything, yeah?”
“Will do, brother.”
I walk to the door, and Elias steps aside to let me pass. I don’t know why, but I feel like Shelby should be coming with me. Like she belongs with me. We share something much bigger than anything Elias could share with her, and that bond is pulling me to her. But I have to leave her behind for her own safety and mine. So without even a backward glance, I walk into the hall and do just that.
I leave her behind.
Chapter Ten
Sin
“I need to know if you’re still in.”
“This isn’t about me. What I need to know is if you should even be doing this,” Richard replies.
I pace back across my living room. “If you really question that, I think it’s safe to say you’re out.”
“Sin.”
“Don’t. Don’t try to step into his shoes. He wasn’t much of a father while he was alive. I don’t need you trying either. You wouldn’t do much better.”
“You’re probably right about that, but I’m old as dirt, and I know what I’m talking about. I think it’s time for you to seriously consider putting Molly to rest. It’s time to move on with your life.” He’s right about one thing. I can hear the tiredness in his voice, and it isn’t from a long, hard day.
“You know that’s not possible,” I growl.
Richard sighs. “I know you think that, son. I also know you’re going to run yourself into the ground if you don’t stop with this path you’ve been going down for the past couple of years. Any cover we had was blown the day your dad was killed. We’re out of options, and you’re losing your purpose.”
“My purpose? My purpose is to find my sister. I haven’t lost anything besides the man who raised me, and the woman who meant everything to me.”
“You’ve lost yourself.”
I stop pacing behind the couch and grip the back so hard that my knuckles turn white. My head falls back between my shoulder blades. “I’m fine,” I snarl.
“That’s fine, son. Glad to hear you think so. I’m sorry, but unless we get a new lead or something changes, we can’t keep going in blind.”
“Fine. Then you’re out. Elias and I—ˮ
The old bastard cuts me off. “You and Elias have too much life left to live to spend it chasing after ghosts. Trust me when I say if you let him put his ass on the line for you and he dies, you’re going to spend the rest of your life regretting it.”
I swallow hard. He’s right, dammit. I can’t keep letting them do this for me.
“Right. Guess I’ll be in touch if something new surfaces.”
“Think about what I said, Sin. Think long and hard about where your life is going to go. You know I’m here for whatever you need, but we need to be rational. We need a plan.”
“Will do, Richard. Later.”
“Have a good night.”
I power off the call and toss my phone onto the couch, my mind a million miles away. I walk around to the front and take a seat, sinking into the old, worn-out cushions. My elbows hit my knees, and my head drops into my hands.
What am I doing here?
A knock sounds at the door. Shit. I look that way, wishing I had X-ray vision so I didn’t have to get up again.
Whoever’s there knocks again a little louder. It doesn’t sound like they’re going away.
I hoist myself up and prowl to the door. I grip the still crooked handle and yank it open.
“Yeah?”
Shelby stands in the hallway to my apartment, looking pale and terrified out of her mind. Before the door stops moving inward, she pushes past and lets herself inside.
“What the fuck?” I growl. I rake over her for five seconds to make sure she isn’t hurt, then step out into the hall. The place is silent. I jog over to the stairs and look down over the banister. I can see down several flights of stairs, all the way to the ground floor. Still, nobody is around.
Stalking back inside, I slam the door shut, walk up to Shelby, and cup the sides of her head so she can’t run away or go into some catatonic state again. Our faces are so close I can smell the spearmint on her breath from the gum she’s chewing, and I lower mine to her level. “What happened?”
“N-nothing happened.”
“Are you hurt?”
She shakes her head, but it doesn’t go far with my hands holding her still.
“Did Elias do something to you?” The words taste bitter in my mouth. I know that man would never hurt her, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t say something unintentionally that upset her. Even so, he’d never let her run off alone.
“No,” she murmurs.
“Then what the fuck is it?” The confirmation she hasn’t been hurt relaxes me some, but my heart still races at a hundred miles a minute.
Her fingers twist in front of her stomach. “I wanted to see you, so Elias dropped me off. I told him I’d be fine to walk myself up but …”
She starts to look away. Using my thumb and index finger, I capture her chin and bring her eyes back to mine.
“But what?”
Her eyes well with tears, and the words come spilling out. “But then I remembered how mean you were this morning and that the last thing you probably wanted to do was to see me, so I stood outside your door for I don’t know how long.” She dashes away a stray tear with the back of her hand, and my heart breaks for her. “I tried to use this stupid cell phone to call Elias back, but I don’t know how to work it.”