She had a group of ten coming, including Rachel, who she’d invited along for some moral support, since it was the first time she’d led a session in this very special place. Also, if anyone needed escorting back early, Rachel could do it for her. They were all going back for a warming drink afterwards, anyway.
The sight never failed to awe her as she drove closer, its presence magisterial and powerful even in the mist, as it rose majestically from the green landscape all around. It was a beacon of spirituality and sent a shiver down her spine every time she saw it rising to the sky. She would never tire of living in its shadow. She pushed away the memory of the kisses she and Charlie had shared last time she was there and tried again to focus on the landscape.
As she parked the car, she could see a few people from her group had already arrived. She was pleased to see they’d all worn sensible footwear for the mildly strenuous walk up the hill.
‘Morning!’ she said cheerily. ‘Sorry about the rain, but it’ll make the meditation session a little different today.’
‘No kidding,’ one of the group laughed. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever done it in the rain before!’
‘It’ll be a whole new experience, especially with the mist rolling in around us,’ Holly said, determined to put a positive spin on it for those who might still have doubts. She glanced around the group, and, as the last couple of people arrived, did a quick headcount. ‘OK. I think we’re all here. Are you ready?’
‘As we’ll ever be,’ said Rachel.
‘Best foot forward, then,’ Holly said, feeling like a Scout leader.
Heading up the group, she drew a deep breath, preparing mentally to lead her first ever deep-vision meditation session on Willowbury Hill. The trouble was, the harder she tried to forget what it felt like to be here with Charlie, the more those memories stubbornly refused to go away.
48
A little time later on Saturday morning, hot off the train from London, the rain lashed down on Charlie’s back as he panted upwards towards Willowbury Hill’s summit. ‘How the fuck does anyone meditate in this bloody weather?’ he said to himself as he tracked further up. His heart had both leapt and sunk when Chelsea had, albeit reluctantly, revealed where Holly was heading. His white shirt, untucked and unkempt, was drenched already, but the humidity made him sweat as he put one foot in front of the other. He prided himself on being reasonably fit, so why was it, then, that he was struggling to breathe as he hoofed it up the hill? Why was it that his heart felt constricted and his stomach was turning somersaults?
The mist swirled all around the base of the hill, and it was as if the landscape itself was holding its breath, waiting to see what the outcome of this meeting would be.
Further, further, further up the hill he went, stomach fluttering more and more with nerves as he tried to think about what the hell he was going to say to Holly when he got to the top. I love you; I was wrong; I’m a twat, was the simplest way to put it, but how could nine words, any words, possibly sum up everything he’d put her through? From the unwanted media attention to the furore over his ill-advised indecision, he just didn’t know where to start. Would he listen to her if the situation was reversed? Probably not, he conceded.
But he had to try. Had to drag himself up this bloody hillside in the warm, pouring rain and talk to her. If she didn’t want to know after this, then fair enough; he was prepared to admit it was over. But if there was just one tiny chance that she would…
A harsh, guttural yell pierced the air as Charlie was about twenty yards from the top of the hill. From his position, he couldn’t yet see the group that Holly was leading, but Charlie’s heart nearly failed him at the sound. Just when he thought he couldn’t feel any more nervous, more yells tore the humid air at the top of the hill apart. Panic gripped him at the sound as he imagined finding Holly in some sort of terrible state. Perhaps, distraught, she’d stumbled in the mist and rain and was now lying injured?
‘Holly!’ he shouted against the raindrops that were now splattering into his face.
No response. Then another yell.
Picking up speed, he dashed up and around the side of the hill, stumbling up the steps that were hewn into the earth as he neared the top, until he spotted several seated figures, legs crossed, facing outwards, looking over the view of Brent Knoll and Steep Holm, yelling their heads off into the rising wind and rain.
Charlie felt weak with relief, before a feeling of total embarrassment and stupidity took over. Slowing to a rather humiliated shuffle, he dropped his head, sweeping his rain-drenched hair out of his eyes as he did so, and then burying his suddenly shaking hands in his pockets.
‘One more time,’ Holly’s raised voice entreated. ‘Let all of that negative energy go; be filled by the positive energies of the hill and the forces that reside here.’
And yet again, guttural yells sounded across the vale.
‘And relax.’
Charlie saw Holly’s head drop to her chest, the graceful curve of her pale neck revealed as her sodden plait flopped over one equally white shoulder, drenched a deeper, almost blood red by the driving rain. Frozen there, transfixed by the vision of a soaking-wet Holly, it took him a moment to realise that he’d attracted the attention of her group, some of whom were now turning to look at him with either ill-disguised irritation or humour in their eyes.
‘Are you here for the deep-vision meditation session?’ a woman on the end of the row said, uncrossing her legs and turning towards him. ‘You’re a bit late – we’ve just finished.’
Charlie shook his head. ‘No. I’m not here for that—’ he paused, considering his next words carefully, ‘sort of thing. It’s your instructor I need to see.’
Holly was still facing away from him, her head bowed to the ground, the raindrops dripping from her plait and running down her back.
‘Holly,’ Charlie said gently. ‘I really need to talk to you.’
Time seemed to stand still as Holly slowly turned her head to look at him. Even from ten yards away, he could see the mixture of emotions flickering in her green eyes. First irritation, then hurt, then, and he was sure he didn’t imagine it, hope.
‘I’m in the middle of something,’ Holly said quietly.
‘Um… I thought we’d finished,’ the woman next to her said. ‘I mean, not that it wasn’t, er, therapeutic, but I’m soaked through to my knickers, sitting here. Isn’t it time we went back down the hill?’
Holly turned and smiled briefly. ‘Absolutely. If you want to head off home, that’s fine, but if you’re up to dropping back into the shop, there are towels, tea and cake down there.’ As the rest of her class staggered to their feet, Holly remained sitting but turned to Rachel. ‘Can you sort the drinks and cake out? Or tell Chelsea to do it? I’ll be down in a minute.’
‘Sure thing,’ Rachel said. As she passed Charlie, she looked him straight in the eye. ‘Fuck her up again, and I will remove your testicles,’ she murmured, smiling sweetly as she did so. Charlie didn’t want to know just how literally to take that threat.
Eventually, he and Holly were the only two left on the hill. Holly still hadn’t stood up.