‘But it could all be for nothing,’ Holly said. ‘And then we’re back where we started. And Harry…’
‘At least we’ll know we’ve tried everything we can to get this through.’ Charlie wrapped his other hand over the top of the one of hers he held, shocked by just how cold she felt. ‘That’s what I’m trying to tell you. There are some things that are more important than politics. That supersede the bloody party line. This is one of them. You are one of them. And so is Harry. I will fight for you both until my last breath if I have to.’
Charlie mentally kicked himself at the irony of his ill-thought-out phrase. But when Holly raised her eyes to his, he saw hope there, and something that very much looked like love.
‘Will you trust me now?’ he asked quietly.
The pause seemed to stretch to the far edges of the vista that was slowly being revealed again as the mists of Avalon receded and the rain finally stopped. A dull, hazy sun struggled to cut through the higher cloud above and, standing on top of the hill, Charlie held his breath.
‘I don’t know,’ Holly replied. ‘But perhaps I’m willing to at least hope.’
‘For the moment, that’s good enough for me,’ Charlie murmured. He ached to kiss her, but he sensed that now was definitely not the right time to risk anything more intimate than he had already. It was a step, that they were talking again. The next one, he hoped tentatively, they’d take together.
The ping of Holly’s mobile phone in her backpack broke the tension, and she bent down to get it from the front pocket where she’d safely stowed it. ‘Oh no,’ she whispered as she read the message.
‘What is it?’ Charlie was immediately alert. ‘Can I help?’
Holly, visibly struggling, turned to him. ‘Rachel’s had a text from Mum, who was looking after Harry while she helped me with this session. She’s going to have to take Harry up to Bristol Royal Children’s Hospital again. That chest infection that knocked him out is still sitting on his lungs. The GP’s just phoned and they’ve found staphylococcus aureus, a bacterial infection, in his swab sample. It’s likely he’s going to need to be in for at least a week this time.’ She shook her head. ‘This bloody condition!’ Putting her phone back quickly, she picked up her backpack. ‘Come with me,’ she said suddenly. ‘Come and see what it’s like to sit beside a child with CF during the bad spells.’ The challenge was in her eyes, and Charlie knew this was a test as well as an invitation back into her life.
49
Stopping briefly to get a change of clothes, Holly and Charlie sped up the A38 to Bristol at a pace just within the legal limits. Rachel had told them not to rush, that she was settling Harry in and there was nothing they could do except provide moral support, but Holly felt drawn to the hospital, with Charlie by her side, so that he could understand the true implications of what it was like to have a child with CF and an infection. But more than that, she wanted to be there for her sister and nephew, to help chase away the loneliness and isolation that walked hand in hand with cystic fibrosis.
‘We’ve been lucky so far,’ Holly explained as Charlie drove, his BMW being more reliable than Holly’s older Vauxhall Astra. ‘Harry’s had one stint in hospital, but the fresh air of Willowbury is great for him, and Rachel’s very vigilant. She’ll be blaming herself, unfairly, for this current hospital stay, but—’
‘Short of keeping Harry in a bubble, though, there’s nothing she can do,’ Charlie finished Holly’s obvious line of thought.
‘True,’ Holly replied, feeling, despite herself, comforted to have Charlie there by her side. ‘Of course, this new generation of drugs could change all that.’
‘I know,’ Charlie said quietly.
They pulled into the nearest car park and headed swiftly down the hilly street towards the BRHC. It sat off to the side of the Bristol Royal Infirmary and was buzzing with activity, as always. Once through the doors, after a quick stop in the hospital’s gift shop, they headed up to the Paediatric Respiratory Ward and navigated their way to Harry and Rachel. After checking in with the desk, Holly turned to Charlie.
‘I’ll go and see how they are.’ She paused, looking up at him, searching his face, as if looking for an answer. ‘I think you need to see him, too, but they probably won’t let both of us in at once.’ Before she could think better of it, she leaned upwards and placed a light kiss on his mouth. She felt him stiffen in surprise, but then return the kiss, very tentatively.
‘Thanks for coming with me,’ she murmured.
‘I wanted to,’ Charlie replied. ‘Let me know when I can see them.’
Holly, on slightly shaky legs, headed down the hallway to the room where Harry and Rachel were. Because of the high risk of cross-infection, CF patients could not be put together on a general ward, so needed to be kept separate from each other. Looking through the window in the door, she saw Rachel sitting in the high-backed chair beside Harry’s bed. The toddler was sitting up on the hospital bed, hooked up to an IV line that Holly presumed contained stronger antibiotics and wearing a nebuliser. Despite this, he looked chirpy, and she could see him smiling under the mask when she opened the door. For such a young child, he never failed to inspire her, handling everything that was thrown at him like it was normal when, in a lot of respects, his life was anything but.
‘Hey,’ she said gently. ‘How are you doing, titch?’
Harry looked up and smiled. ‘OK, Aunty Holly,’ he said, his voice muffled by the mask.
Holly leaned in and gave him a kiss on the forehead, and then passed him a fluffy rabbit she’d bought in the gift shop as they’d come in.
‘How’s he doing?’ Holly asked Rachel as she gave her sister a hug.
‘Not too badly,’ Rachel replied. Holly’s heart went out to her at how tired and anxious her sister looked. ‘Just a bit fed up, as I am, at being back here for the second time this year. But they’re great, as ever.’
‘I’ve got someone with me,’ Holly said. ‘Are you happy to see him?’
Rachel’s eyebrows raised. ‘It depends. Were you happy to see him?’
Holly smiled briefly. ‘To a point. He wants to lend us his full support.’
‘Haven’t we been here before?’ Rachel said wearily. She suddenly looked very, very tired. ‘What’s changed? The direction of the wind?’
‘I know he’s been indecisive, but there’s something different this time,’ as Holly said the words, she realised she believed them. ‘I think you should hear what he has to say.’
Rachel smiled. ‘OK. But I don’t want this one disturbed or upset – he might look better, but he’s still fighting infection. Charlie can come and see him, but only for a minute.’
‘I’ll go and get him,’ Holly offered, relieved that Rachel would, at least, listen to what Charlie had to say.
A couple of minutes later, Charlie poked his head around the door of the room.
‘Hey, Harry,’ Charlie said as he closed the door behind him, leaving Holly waiting in the corridor outside. ‘How are you doing?’