Jason’s phone rings, and he reluctantly releases me to check it. “It’s Terri, the nurse administrator from New York.”
She’s the one who sent us the testimonials from former patients and colleagues.
He takes the call. “Hey, Terri.” As he listens to what she has to say, he walks toward the window in my living room. “When did this happen?”
My stomach tightens with nerves as I wonder what new disaster might have occurred. As I watch him, I realize it’s far too late to be worried about anything as simple as attachment. I’m falling in love with him. If I haven’t already completely fallen. His fate is now tied to mine, and whatever news he’s getting from Terri, I only hope it doesn’t make anything worse for him.
After a tense ten-minute conversation in which he does more listening than talking, he thanks Terri for calling and asks her to keep him posted. Long after he stashes the phone in the pocket of his basketball shorts, he continues to stare out the window.
“What’s going on?” I ask when I can’t wait another second to know.
“Apparently, Howard resigned as chairman of the board in New York to, and I quote, ‘spend more time with his family.’ After hearing from my lawyer earlier in the week, apparently Ginger wrote a letter to the remaining board members, telling them I had no idea who she really was or that she was married with children. The new board chair, a woman named Dr. Linda Adams, wants to talk to me on Monday. Terri thinks she’s going to ask me to come back.”
The news hits me like a punch to the gut. “Oh. Wow. That’s a lot.”
“I know.” Apparently sensing my immediate dismay at this turn of events, he comes to me and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Take a breath. Nothing is decided.”
Six days ago, I didn’t know he existed, and now . . . Now I wonder if I can ever again be truly happy if this man isn’t in my life. That’s a lot for six days, especially considering the five years that preceded them. “Maybe we should, you know . . .”
His brows furrow with concern that’s adorable on him, but then again, everything about him is adorable. “What?”
I lick my dry lips and force myself to look at him while trying to remain unemotional. “Take a step back until we know what’s going to happen?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to take a step back from you.”
“I don’t want that, either, but I also don’t want to be left crushed or heartbroken when you resume your life in New York.”
“Do you honestly think I’d just walk away like you never happened?”
“I don’t know what to think.”
“Let me put your mind at ease. Nothing will be decided without your input.”
“You have to do what’s best for your career, Jason. Your entire life is in New York—”
“Not anymore it isn’t.”
“You’ve known me for six days! You can’t make huge career decisions based on six days.”
“Yes, I can.”
“No, you can’t.”
He nods in the second before he kisses me and once again wipes my brain clear of any thoughts that don’t involve more of him and the way I feel when he kisses me so passionately. With his arms tight around me, he walks me backward to my bedroom, where he comes down on top of me on the bed without missing a beat in the kiss.
I know I should stop kissing him and go back to discussing the fact that he can’t make career decisions based on a woman he’s known for six days. But since that woman is me and I’m crazy about him, I decide to keep kissing him while I can, even if I already feel heartbroken at the thought of him going back to New York.
He shifts from my lips to my neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses that have me shivering and dying for more. “How can you think you won’t factor into whatever happens next? Of course you will.”
“It’s been six days, Jason.”
“I knew in six minutes that you were special, that I wanted to know you and be with you. Every minute I’ve spent with you since then has only made me want more of you. So, yes, six days later, it does matter what you think about whatever happens next.”
I’m ridiculously moved, as much by the words as the kisses that set my body on fire.
He pulls back from me only to grab a condom, and then he’s back to remove my T-shirt and panties. “This,” he says as he enters me slowly and carefully, “is everything.”
“Not everything.”
“Every fucking thing.” He’s fierce and sexy and everything to me, too. Even as I tell myself to hold something back so there’ll be something left just in case this goes bad, I can’t do it. I give him everything I have as he makes love to me. And that’s what this is.
I know what love feels like, and it’s this all-consuming, must-be-with-him-or-I’ll-die feeling that overtakes common sense and every other kind of sense as it invades with the power of a tsunami, overtaking your life and reshaping it to fit his presence.
He feels it, too. I know he does. I can tell by the way he looks at me, by the way he kisses and touches me with so much reverence. I can tell by the way he values my opinions and listens to me when I talk to him. I can tell by the way he respects and welcomes Tony’s presence in my life. I can tell by the way he can’t be near me without touching me in some way.
Yes, it happened fast, but the end result is very similar to what took years to happen in the past.
Love is love, and this . . . This is love.
JASON
We end up spending the rest of Saturday in her bed. We talk about getting up to go do something or to have dinner at the restaurant, but in the end we order takeout, eat in bed, watch movies and make love. It’s the most perfect day and night I’ve ever had with anyone.
Carmen has been quieter than usual since the call from Terri opened the possibility of me returning, eventually, to New York. That news would’ve thrilled me a week ago, but now the thought of leaving Carmen has become unimaginable. The very real possibility exists that New York will ask me to come back and Miami-Dade will deny privileges in deference to its sister facility.
If that happens, I’ll have little choice but to return to New York to pick up my career and research already in progress. After meeting Carmen’s family, seeing how close she is to them and how tied she is to her community, I can’t picture her anywhere but here, not that I’d presume to make that choice for her. I just wonder if she could be truly happy living so far from her family and home.
These are the thoughts that run through my mind Sunday at noon as I drive us to her family’s restaurant. As always, the scent of Carmen’s hair and skin makes me crazy for more of her even after the decadence of the last twenty-four hours.
I downshift, slowing the car to a stop at a red light. As soon as the light changes and we’re moving again, I reach for her hand.
She looks over at me, a small smile curving her sexy lips. It’s not the usual smile that lights up her entire face. I haven’t seen that one since Terri called yesterday and gave Carmen reason to worry about where this relationship of ours may be headed.
I want to reassure her, to tell her she has nothing to worry about, but I won’t do that until I know for sure it’s true. If I end up going back to New York, I’ll ask her to come with me, even if I know that’s a long shot. She just landed her dream job at Miami-Dade.